A
female
age
41-50,
*likenight
writes:A friend of mine for the last 10 years is a really bad alcoholic, she's got a 2 1/2 year old daughter, she's a single mom, the dad is nowhere to be found. The state gave up the dad's rights because they couldn't find him. She's neglecting her kid and her pit bull, starving herself, and taking pills and drinking every day. She hasn't been going to work and has probably lost her job already. Her house is trashed, her car is trashed. She's been to the emergency clinic 2 times in the last 3 weeks to get hooked up to an i.v. of fluids and get pills because she thought she was dying because she won't eat and she won't even drink water she just drinks and takes pills that the e.r. clinic gives her. The pills are supposed to help her quit drinking but she's taking them with alcohol. She's been lieing to me about almost everything. I am really tired of her lies and all the drama. She's dating this guy for the past month. He is also a bad alcoholic and takes pills. She's so infatuated with this loser it makes me sick. She supposedly told him a couple of weeks back that she can't drink with him so if he can't see her and not drink then they can't see each other. He agreed, but she told me they had still drank every day. She won't stop seeing him, she won't go to rehab because there would be no one to watch her 2 1/2 year old daughter. I am at the point of just giving up on her. I told her I didn't want to lose another friend and always says she's quitting drinking but never does. She asks me for favors, but never does anything for me. I have a 3 month old daughter myself. She asks me to babysit so she can go to the e.r. clinic and promises to pay me for babysitting but then she picks her kid up and doesn't even mention paying me. She's done this the last 3 times I babysat for her. My birthday was last month and we had plans and she ditched me and left a message on my phone saying she decided to go to a different bar 1/2 hr. away and that I should "still totally come hang out" when we had plans to go to one right by my house so we could walk to my house and not have to drive drunk. I don't know what to do. I don't have many friends so I don't want to lose her, but all she's doing lately is calling me to tell me how sick she is or how much she drank or how she might be pregnant (they're not using protection) and she lies to me and uses me and I am sick of it. I haven't talked to her in 2 days since she had me babysit so she could go to the e.r. clinic. What should I do? I know talking to her isn't going to help, I've done it before. And I am not willing to watch her kid so I can't call the state and have her thrown into rehab or something. I am sad when thinking about not being friends with her, but I can't watch her ruin her life. About a year ago, she wasn't like this, she did drink occasionally but nothing like this. Please help.
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female
reader, flower girl  +, writes (19 July 2007):
 I know you think it's not your place to do that but how would you feel if something happened to the child, no body has to know that it was you that done it, it could have been anyone.
If you want to know how to deal with her then you just need to tell her that it hurts you too much to watch her on her path of self distruction, so untill she gets help for her addiction you can not have any contact with her.
Take care.xx.
A
female
reader, ilikenight +, writes (19 July 2007):
ilikenight is verified as being by the original poster of the question I know people think that I should get her child into care, but that isn't my place. She has family that should be more concerned with the care of her daughter. I don't want to be the reason her child is taken away from her, and all her family live in the same town as I do, so if I did that I would have a lot of enemies. I am just not that kind of person. What I would like to know is how to handle her. Should I just ignore if she calls me? Or should I tell her why I am not speaking to her? I still have not taked to her yet. Thanks.
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (18 July 2007):
This child of hers is in danger, it sounds like you have tried to help her but she does not want it.
If i were in your shoes friend or not i would be looking into getting her child into care, she does not deserve to have the child as she can't look after herself.
I would totally give up on her until she is prepared admit she has a problem and get help for it.
Take care.xx.
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