A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:OP's own title:I'm 14 years old and my boyfriend is 25. I really liked him before we were going out and he liked me too, he even dumped his girlfriend because he says he can't be with her when he loves me. I love him too but I'm soo scared about my friends or family finding out... I really don't want to break up with him but I can't keep lying.He looks 17 and he's not a fat slob looking for sex off me, in fact he's the exact opposite.We have talked about sex and he says he wants me to wait untill I am at least 16 because he thinks I will regret it. He is not a paedophile, I look alot older than 14 and most people say I am more mature.I really don't know if I should break up with him... he's really sweet and even writes me songs, he loves me and I don't want to hurt him. Please tell me what you think, because I can't talk to friends about this. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2010): I'm so sick of questions like this!!! it doesnt matter how old you look, youre a 14 year old girl and hes a 25 year old man. youre not even in highschool yet and hes out of college. you say youre mature but its very imature of you to do this to yourself and this guy. you should be dating boys not men. act your age
A
female
reader, HalfHeartbroken  +, writes (5 August 2010):
 Look, I don't want to be mean or harsh but, that man wants you to wait until you're sixteen so, he won't go to jail for having sex with you. He also most likely has another girl, his own age somewhere. At fourteen, you cannot connect to him on his level but, he has been to yours and mastered it. Believe me, I've been there and done that. But, I had a great base of morals and group of friends especially guy friends that told me the truth. Combined, they kept me from making bad decisions when I was young. I'm 24 and am engaged and just recently finally had sex for the first time with my fiance and was sooo very happy, I waited. My advice is to 1.) Stop hiding your "relationship" believe it or not, family and friends only want the best for you. Therefore, will do what they can to protect you. Hiding your relationship is your first and biggest mistake. I'm not saying that your family will always love who you date but, they can sense danger and protect you from it. There is a difference. If he really cares for you, he will go and meet your parents and friends and confess his intentions toward you. If not, he doesn't care. 2.) Don't worry about hurting him. He is an adult, he will be alright. 3.) If he is attractive, intelligent, and working, why does he have a child for a girlfriend? Why you? Not to say that you aren't beautiful and amazing but, he is a man. And relationships are hard work, you have to be able to deal with a lot. You are not ready for his 25 year old adult problems, at age 14, I don't care how mature you are or look. 4.) You said that he dumped his girlfriend for you, how old was his girlfriend? If she was your age that is yet another red flag why is he roaming the high school grounds for a partner? If she was his age, what can you offer that a grown woman can't besides (probably) your virginity and naivety?
Bottom line: Please be careful and guard your heart, your innocence, and your virginity. They are priceless gifts and much thought and meditation should go into when, who, and under what circumstances they are presented to someone else to take. Remember there is no rush, when you are ready, truly ready love will find you, honey.
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A
female
reader, diebler33 +, writes (5 August 2010):
 NO NO NO...same exact thing hapened to me!! Mama this isn't leading anywhere good...I'd love to be positive and tell you everything would be fine..but i'd be lying..and i can't let someone make the same mistake i made. Look, love doesn't have an age, but that doesn't mean you relationship is going to work out. You deserve a love that you can think back 10 years from now and smile...not a memory were you'll frown....you need to find someone at a better age trust me. It's not going to work out..you have over a 10 year diffrence..theres not much you can have in detail with him...I hope ive helped out a bit..let me know...
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A
male
reader, Salacion +, writes (5 August 2010):
It's quite obvious; you shouldn't be with them. It's just not right. A 25 year old man should know better, and if he doesn't, he's in it for what he can't achieve with others his own age. I hate saying it, but as a teen, we're easily manipulated.
Put things in perspective; would you date a 3 year old boy? No. Break it up, for the goodness of both of you.
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (5 August 2010):
I know that when I was 14 I was thrilled whenever someone said I looked " mature" for my age. Now I'm older and wiser I know that it's all just a bunch of BS.
The fact remains that you've only been on this earth for 14 years and he has been for 11 years longer. No matter how mature you look and feel, you cannot beat 11 years of life experience. 11 years ago, you were 3. That is a gap you cannot bridge.
Also, if you were 25, would you feel attracted to someone pretty much half your age? You might think it's different because you're a girl, but really, is it?
A 25 year old man dating someone your age is not a man in my opinion. The reason he chose you is because you're naive and easily manipulated. My best friend had a 26 year old bf at age 16. He was a nice guy (I thought) and seemed to really care about her. Until they had sex a couple of times and he got her pregnant and an std. Then he left her and told her to get an abortion.
You might think you won't be like her and that your bf won't be like him. My friend didn't think she'd end up like that either. She thought she was mature too. She thought he was genuine. How wrong she was...on both counts.
If you don't want to be like her, end it now.
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A
female
reader, Romani +, writes (5 August 2010):
If he truly loves you he will wait to have sex with you until you are 18 years old. Sorry if that sounds harsh or unfair but it is true. Love is blind - however the law is not. He could become a registered sex offender and accused of statuatory rape if you have intercourse at our age. You are treading dangerous waters and the wisest choice would be not to have sex with him.
If his I'll call u tommorow . love is pure, he will come to your parents and ask permission to date you/ get to know you. I know your parents might flip - but believe me it will show he is a respectable guy and that he is approaching the situation in an honest manner.
A man who is over 18 and interested in girls who are so young are often after easy sex. I'm not saying this is your situation- but you must accept that this is usually the case.. This is probably why your family and friends would be so concerned. Everyone wants to be loved and desired especially as teenagers when one is starting to transition into young adults. So an older man has the advantage over a young girl. He knows how to turn on the charm and the kind of words to say to lure them in.
Now please think about one more thing - why isn't he interested in women his age? Young adults in their mid twenties are usually in college pursuing a degree or have a job- sometimes both. Once again I'm not saying this ur case- but if he is not working or going to school it is a sign of immaturity and you should be wary.
I wish you the best of luck and have given you sincere advice that I would give my own 14 yr old cousin.
One more thin I would
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A
female
reader, Romani +, writes (5 August 2010):
If he truly loves you he will wait to have sex with you until you are 18 years old. Sorry if that sounds harsh or unfair but it is true. Love is blind - however the law is not. He could become a registered sex offender and accused of statuatory rape if you have intercourse at our age. You are treading dangerous waters and the wisest choice would be not to have sex with him.
If his I'll call u tommorow . love is pure, he will come to your parents and ask permission to date you/ get to know you. I know your parents might flip - but believe me it will show he is a respectable guy and that he is approaching the situation in an honest manner.
A man who is over 18 and interested in girls who are so young are often after easy sex. I'm not saying this is your situation- but you must accept that this is usually the case.. This is probably why your family and friends would be so concerned. Everyone wants to be loved and desired especially as teenagers when one is starting to transition into young adults. So an older man has the advantage over a young girl. He knows how to turn on the charm and the kind of words to say to lure them in.
Now please think about one more thing - why isn't he interested in women his age? Young adults in their mid twenties are usually in college pursuing a degree or have a job- sometimes both. Once again I'm not saying this ur case- but if he is not working or going to school it is a sign of immaturity and you should be wary.
I wish you the best of luck and have given you sincere advice that I would give my own 14 yr old cousin.
One more thin I would
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (5 August 2010):
 He is a pedophile. He is a predator seducing a child. Run for the hills (not like you'll listen). If you love him, you'll end this before he ends up in prison. Do you know what they do to pedo's in prison? It's not pretty.
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