A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 13 years old, and I'm having the urges to have sex. What do I do?I know, I am Way to young. and I want to wait for the right guy, and be a saint.but, The orgasims.It very tempting.And the boys my age, Offer it all the time.Its my bettr judgement that stops them.I just don't know, If I can hold back much longer. Its really conplicated; But, I dont want to finger myself all the time.I want to explore too.But, I dont want to find myself sticking a Cucumber in my vagina as well.I've never felt comfortable enough to talk to my parents. But, I feel I need too.Maybe, I could get birthcontrol.Idk! I'm stuck between two choices...Giving up my Virginity, and Risking getting pregnant.0RContinue fingering myself, and Be known as 'Prude.'Ok, So im a virgin. I see everyone talking about sex. and How good it must feel.So I feel i should know as well.But, Im really scared.The things I hear...the pain, bleeding, and im not sure of what to do! and I dont feel comfortable asking my parents 'how to have sex'yea, i wil admit. ive looked on the internet at sites. and the more i look, the more scared i become.What should I do?MOD NOTE: Two questions from this person have been posted as one.
View related questions:
fingering, the internet, vagina Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (17 July 2009):
 no one can top anonymouses post that was pretty damn good she should get an account wow i feel all enlightened. as for the poster well... whoaaaa i dont even remember being 13 but you sound like a horn dog its all good maybe you have a higher then normal sexdrive. at any rate dont have sex just to satisfy your curiosity other then that the anonymous poster gives excellent advice. also who cares what a bunch of 13 yrolds have to say its your body and your life your not a prude
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2009): hi me again,I posted the long anwer-I forgot to say-when you do start having sex,ALWAYS USE A COMDOM-you can get them for free from your local family planning or gu clinic-or from the chemist.it's very important to use comdoms even if you're on the pill as they protect against diseases like AIDs and clamidiya
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2009): trust me-masterbating is waaaaaaay better than having sex with the vast majority of men-sex with someone you love though is amazing.Anyway-let me give it to you straight,if you lost your virginity now to a teenager or man in his 20's or probably even someone over 30,you would fistly feel embarrassed that you were actually taking your clothes off in front of someone and that you didn't know enough about what to do,then they would probably be rude and ask you whats wrong with you,then when the man started touching you ,it would feel very weird and you would have random guilty thoughts,like oh god what if my mum knew what I was up to right now,then you would have the cringy,awkward moment of saying um please can you use a comdom-you might well be then bombarded with excuses to which you cannot think of a reply-or he might be offended and say something rude,then you would feel terror as he got into position and wonder if he knew what he was doing and if you could trust him not to rip you -losing my virginity was scary enough and I trusted the guy I gave it to to be gentle with me,otherwise I would've had these thoughts-and some men are actually very rough-some of the men I've slept with I am so grateful it wasn't them the first time cos I'm sure they would've killed me.Anyway,when he enters you,you'll feel massive stabbing agony like a knife cutting through you-thats if your'e lucky and the guy know what he's doing-if he is 13 he might not be able to find the hole straightaway-so you'll endure several long minutes of pain and embarrassment while he fumbles around all over the place trying to get it in,he might even try pushing against your anus-then when he does get it in-which is the worst part and starts thrusting,you'll worry about how rough he might get-the pain from your tightness and your hymen gets a bit better but if he thrusts hard-most men do when they really get into it,you'll feel a pain in your lower belly as he hits your cervix,you'll feel embarrased at being in pain and probably obliged to act like your enjoying it-so you'll be worrying about trying to moan in a sexy way when your'e trying not to scream in pain-the pain does get better as you have more sex ,but it took me about a year to be able not to get too nervous before sex-not three or four times-like most girls mags will have you believe.As far as the guy giving you any kind of foreplay is concearned-he won't-most guys don't bother if the girl isn't their serious girlfreind-a lot don't even know where your clit is or that it even exits-or they will handle the area roughly,with long fingernails-you need to be in a long term relationship to experiment with the guy and find out what each other likes and how to do it well.Sex dosen't tend to last very long either-particularly with young guys,and once they've had their orgasm,thats it-they don't bother with the girl unless she's their wifey and their a saint.Also a lot of guys may pressure you for head-which the vast majority of girls don't get anything out of sexually-a lot find it repulsive,including myself-you would certainly find it nasty the first time-and added to the grossness of doing it in the first place,the man may well thrust so his junk goes in your throat-which will make you retch-its a reflex but if you are grossed out anyway you might vomit-imagine having to face the guy when you finished!When you had become an adult and learned the reality of what goes on in a lot of guys heads you would really regret having given your virginity away to someone who probably bragged about you to all his freinds-also, your numbers will rack up and when your freinds start dealing with guys and you hear them say they've never had a one night stand or they've only been with 1 or 2 guys you will feel like crap.Plus if freinds/future loves ever find out they will probably think you're a ho, which will hurt.No one will genuinly think your a prude-if a boy says so,he is either mad cos you won't give him what he wants or he's trying to pressure you into doing it.If a girl says so she is either being bitchy cos she dosen't feel good about her own sexual history-she's probably been called a ho or been used by a boy or she has an abnormal attitute to sex and relationships,probably because her parents didn't set a good example or they thought she could look out for herself and didn't tell her stuff.Calling a 13 year old a prude cos she aint having sex yet is ridiculous-and trust me,all those friends of yours who say theyre having sex?I can garentee that in 5 years time,when you look back you'll realize half of them were lying to look cool or mature or unprudelike.
Anyway now for the fun part-fingering yourself is a good way to have some fun without involving another person and all the complications that brings and to learn what you like for the future-you say you want to explore-try experimenting with touching your nipples,bellybutton,ears{the outside part,try stroking it} and bottom lip-all feel very nice.Use your imagination and fantasize-dont masterbate more than a couple of times a week though,as you can become more fustrated if you do it to often-and fantasizing about sex too much can lead to you actually wanting to try it.Anyway solo sex is better if it is a special treat-the build up of feeling horney for a few days but not giving in to temptation can make for explosive orgasms.As far as inserting stuff inside,think about this first as you might want to keep your hymen intact-it's not that important,but it gives some girls even more pride than just being a technical virgin-having said that a lot of girls break theirs just playing sports or using tampons so its not a big deal.If you decide to do this but don't fancy cucumber,vibraters are fantastic-you can get them for the clit-I highly recommend,and to go inside you-they have very slim ones that wouldnt hurt you now to enormas ones-you can't go to a sex shop at your age but you can order them on the internet,and here in the uk,some public toilets have vending machines with them in -if you can't get hold of a vibrator I highly recommend pointing the water jet from a power shower at your clitoris-it's even better.Porn can be fun,but some of the websites have an unhealthy attitute towards women so excercise caution when looking at them-some of them have over rough sex in that dosent happen so much in real life so don't let it scare you-also some have women being slapped around and spat on,-the girls in the movies are often not in very nice circumstances so never pay to watch it.If you look at porn too much,you can get oversexed-so enjoy in moderation,also don't beleive most of what you see in porn,girls breasts,vaginas and other parts mostly don't look so nice in real life penises arnt as big,men don't last as long and women dont have so many orgasms-the girls are actresses--also a lot of porno stuff dosent hardly happen in real life-ass to mouth,double penetration,a man finishing off on a girls face,so don't worry,chances are you'll never get asked to do that stuff by a real guy-not that I imagine you would.Also ,don't let these sex advise people intimidate you with their knowledge,if you picked up half the tips in these books e.c.t you would be a pretty good lover-but it wouldn't hurt reading up on a few things before you start having sex-then ,when you meet the man of your dreams,you'll be an untouched virgin who knows exactly how to please him-a very rare thing!I hope I've been of some help.
...............................
A
female
reader, Georgia13 +, writes (16 July 2009):
 if you do decide to have sex make sure its with someone you trust not to hurt u!if ur not ready for sex maybe you should talk to your mom and tell her u have "urges" tell her ur not having sex yes and maaybe if u realy feel comfortable asking her see if she will get u a dildo
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2009): I think that you should wait. If you know that you are way to young and want to wait for the right guy, why do it? Another thing, dont give in to the guys that offer it to you. You dont want to be known as easy, cheap,or loose. Your virginity is not anything you can take back.
...............................
A
female
reader, killielass1  +, writes (14 July 2009):
hi sweetheart, firstly i think you aren't emotionally mature at 13 to have sex, the legal age of consent is there for a reason and you don't want to end up a single teenage mum. your first sexual experience should be special, and with someone you love, just now be content with exploring your body on your own, take this opportunity to find out what you enjoy and don't enjoy sexually, it can be fun on your own :)if you need to talk at any time just drop me a msg i would be more than happy to help (if i can)hope this helps hun
...............................
A
male
reader, Livelife +, writes (14 July 2009):
Trust me, you're doing the right thing by waiting. At your age you are doing just what you should do, exporing on your own and everything is a good idea. I think you should continue doing that and keep waiting for
You're not a prude, and it's completely understandable that you're curious. It's good you want to wait for it to be with the right guy and special and everything. :) Don't do it just because other people have or because of what you think they will think. Do it when you feel ready and feel it's right.
It's natural to wonder and to have questions, and yeah, they'll be some things you don't understand yet. If you can, you should work up the courage to talk to your parents when you feel comfortable about it, until then you can always message people here, just message me or anyone else, and we'll be glad to try to help with questions and anything. I hope this helped some. :)
...............................
A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (14 July 2009):
 well honey i am 20 years old and still a virgin i get urges when i want to have sex but know this, sex shouldn't be just sex!
sex is so much more than that! i know i keep saying it but it's true it's a major connection between people who love eachother its an interactive bond it's another level in a relationship to help two people get to know eachothers bodies together and become more one person and communicate through bodies.
yeah ok people say sex is good but i've been told is HIGHLY over rated it's because people lose all meaning of the word it's not just sex it's making love it's two bodies entertwining with eachother bodies merging into one.
yeah your first time you will bleed.
you are right you are too young and if you want to wait for someone special then do that!
don't want sex because everyone around you has done it and says how "amazing" it is do it for yourself!
and enjoy it but make sure it's special otherwise you'll regret it i've heard so many people tell me they regret there first time and wish they could go back.
Sex now is like going to the cinema for young teens nowa days and they don't think of the consequences!
you should!
and talk to your parents about it if you feel you need too or speak to a family member you trust.
or if you feel like it message someone on here who you perhaps want to talk too.
Hope this helps hun you can message me if you wish to talk further :)
x ilovebowsandcherries x
...............................
|
