A
female
age
41-50,
*dh1983
writes:Here's my situation, I'm 29 going on 30 and I'm still a virgin, I haven't even been kissed yet, mainly I can attribute my situation to rock bottom self esteem due to being teased about my weight my entire life, basically I was raised to believe that men don't really like the so called "fat chick".I used to weigh 400 pounds but over the past 3 years I have lost half my body weight, even though I'm not uncomfortable with my size I would like to start going to the gym to become more physically fit.I want to meet the right man to marry and start a family with in the near future but the problem is that I'm afraid that I will scare men off because I am a virgin (I keep hearing that men only want sexually experienced women).I do not have a hymen anymore because I masturbate with an average sized dildo, my sex drive is normal and strong and I have already experienced orgasms.I have no idea how to deal with my situation, should I just go to a bar and pick up a random guy to just get it over with and gain experience? Or should I just lie to the man that I'm interested in so I don't look like a weirdo?
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depressed, dildo, hymen, orgasm, self esteem, sex drive, still a virgin Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Glacier  +, writes (18 August 2012):
If you haven't already done so, then start a hobby which gets you out there. You will meet new people and possibly a potential love.
If people often give you positive comments then assume they are right. You are basicly a great catch.
Get yourself out there and you will get hit on. Just be a little critical and don't just accept any man.
Think about the requirements he should meet and stick with that.
A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (18 August 2012):
 You do not need to meet a guy at a bar. And you certainly shouldn't have sex with some guy just because you are a virgin. There is nothing wrong with being a virgin, truly. Most guys are put off by women who are too "experienced". I'm not sure how you would like to go about meeting a guy, online, in person etc. but when you go on a date with him don't talk about your virginity. That isn't first date talk. All you do is get to know the person then in time when it's appropriate you let him know. He won't go running for the hills, in fact it'll most likely be the opposite. It's a rare thing to find nowadays so it sets you apart. That's a good thing. I reccomend online dating personally. I met my husband through a dating site. So if you are comfortable or have done that before, make a profile and search through different guys until one seems to have your same standards- not a fling, wanting something serious. You are not a freak for that either. I've always hated bars and drinking and parties. I only wanted a serious relationship and to settle down, quite different from most girls in their early 20's but it isn't freakish. You just need to find someone with your same goals in mind.
So don't worry about the virginity because it isn't a problem. Just focus on finding a man with your same goals and interests and get to know him. Then it'll happen in time and all will be well. Please do not give up your virginity to someone who means nothing to you because you think that's what a man would want. Trust me it isn't. And congratulations on your weight loss :) feel free to email me anytime if you want to.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (18 August 2012):
 Screw this virgin stuff lol lets talk about ur massive weight loss!! why have u stopped working out? keep at it. Hasnt that boosted ur confidence at all? It has somewhat for me. Shit. Women cant keep their hands off of me now :).. unlike before sadly when being nice and kind and all that other BS got me nowhere! stick to who you are and keep losing weight, refeeding when needed, and getting fitness advice. im always open! Good luck!
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A
female
reader, hdh1983 +, writes (18 August 2012):
hdh1983 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the responses, guys, at my age I'm really only looking for a serious relationship that will lead to marriage and children, casual flings really aren't my thing at this point in my life.The idea of picking up a guy at a bar frightens and disgusts me a little but at this point in my life I would be willing to try anything to feel more like a normal person.Like I said I feel like a freak and I cry practically everyday because of this, I'm afraid of being alone for the rest of my life, I feel so unloved.People tell me all the time that I'm very pretty and beautiful but I still look in the mirror and cannot see it. I really, really hope that I'm able to find someone who shares the same goals in life as me but I just don't know at times.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2012): I just don't like the times we live in. Almost every young people today are so obsessed with sex. Instead of pursuing marriage & family, young people just want to copulate & copulate & copulate with no end in sight. To be honest, your only hope to find a man who will value you is a man who has a strong sense of morality. Not necessarily a religious man but a man that is spiritual. Such men recognize the value of marriage & family. Sadly, such men are fast becoming rare. It's not hard to find them though.The type of men you attract will depend on the way of life you live.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2012): Men don't want inexperienced women? Who says that? Nobody who understands men, that's for sure.
Men don't like being a woman's first partner if they have no feelings for her and are just looking for sex. But if they are seeing serious relationship potential then most men would LOVE to be her first. LOVE IT.
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