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female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: Will my ex ever love me again? he says he wants to be friends, but i still love him! Is there any hope of us getting back together, still?It has been nearly 2 months since i broke up with my boyfriend of 5 months... He asked me out online and i had met him in person before, but we never aknowledged eachother much. I didnt like him at first and we were on and off, but he didnt give up. I gave him a chance in the end and i fell completely in love with him. we had an amazing time over the summer holidays, and i saw him nearly everyday and we were so happy. We walked together to places, and my sister became good friends with his sister and i was the happiest i had ever been in my life. When school began again, he was fine at first, he still was acting towards me as normal, but then he started to tell me he coulnd see me as much anymore due to studies, as the school had told him that he was failing his exams. Despite this he was still treating me as normal, he got upset when i saw him in school and didnt kiss him goodbye. But soon it all went downhill. His family felt that i was interfering with his studies too much, and they eventually apparently were constantly telling him to dump me. I got really upset as he started refusing to kiss me in school and ignoring me. I was very confused as i said i would be there for him and he could tell me anything. He only seemed sad whenever he was with me and i started to feel i couldnt get though to him anymore.I was still calling and texting him because i thought i had done something really wrong, i loved him and now i know i should have been more paitient with him. He began to back off even more by not answering my calls and texts and i knew this relationship wouldnt last much longer. I cried everyday wondering what i was doing to upset him and his family so much. But i knew he still loved me, only he wouldnt say it to my face anymore...He was asking one of our mutual friends about how he should dump me because of his family telling him to, but he didnt have the guts to because he felt sad when i cried.So i text him saying i needed to tell him something and he replied saying he had something to tell me, too...i knew what it was.When we came to meet eachother for the last time, he came up to me with tears in his eyes and i broke down too. I told him what i was feeling and he had his head in his hands, answering only in small phrases such as "i dont know". We both knew he finished school in may, then his exams would be over, and there would be no more pressure from his family. so i said "you just want to be friends til may?" he nodded enthusiastically and said "yeah, thats what i was going to say". i said "are you SURE?" he nodded again. i hugged him and he kissed my hand, then he dried his eyes.as we got up, he said to me "so, best friends til may". And i said yes. He left with a smile on his face, that made me happy too.But he was no longer wanting to talk to me atall and he was ignoring me again. So after a week i chatted to him online again. He didnt say much, i told him that i missed him and he just said "aww". i asked him if he missed me and he said "hmmm, i like it better as friends". My heart sunk.I told him i agree it is the best thing to do, eventhough this is 100% not true. Did he suddenly decide he preferred life without me?I asked some mutual friends, and they said he told them that he didnt like me being too protective over him.a few days later, he smiled at me like he used to once again, and later we said hi how are you to each other, but i dont know if it meant anything. Now he seems to not want to talk to me atall. He is avoiding me and it feels like i am annoying him everytime i try to talk to him whether it be online, or in person. For example, i said "hi" online and he said "be on in 30mins" and never came back. I know that talking online got us together in the first place, so i keep trying. He is also talking to my friends online and that is upsetting me.They asked why he wont talk to me, and he said to them "i do from time to time", this is a lie.i cry every night where he cant see me, and i cant stop thinking of him all day everyday and i dont know what to do. i am not happy anymore it feels like ive lost everything. i miss him so much... is there any way i can get him back?? What is the first thing i should do? pleeeaaase help me!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2010): Thank you so so much for your advice! :)
It helps to hear that i am not alone and there are other people out there in a similar situation to me. No one i know seems to really understand why i am so upset over him like i am. So thank you for telling your story and feelings as well. And yeah, it is so very difficult. :( There isnt a song on the radio or a place in my town that doesnt remind me of the wonderful times i spent with him.
Ive hardly seen him atall since the break up, but i pass him by breifly everyday to and from school. Sometimes he doesnt even look at me, sometimes he waves and sometimes he tries to go a different way to completely avoid me...he never smiles.
The most rediculous thing is, is that he talks to and smiles at my best friend and my sister when he sees them and they are not with me. It makes me very upset. He tries to avoid talking to me. What should i do about this?
It is his 16th birthday soon, as if it couldnt be any worse.
I will definately take your advice you have given me and give it all ive got. Thank you thank you thank you, this alone has already started to make me feel a bit better. :)
After all, once i start to see results, it will encourage me to carry on. And thank you again! :)
A
female
reader, kpmp  +, writes (18 November 2010):
Hi, I know how much it hurts. The feeling when you close your eyes and everything you see is him and how happy you were back when you were together. I actually have a similar situation such as yours. Only that, I feel like hanging in a cliff. I'm waiting for him, he said he needs time to figure his life out. Leaving me with no choice, I have to move on. But I know someday, we would talk and finally sort things out. I pray for that day, I hope his happiness would still include me but even if it wouldn't, I still wish for us to be genuinely friends.
Anyway, just thought I'd share that. I think in your case, what you need to do is to keep distance. I'm pretty sure he's used of you being around. What if you try to reverse the situation? Suddenly disappear and not contact him. NO HI, HELLO. NO ANYTHING. I know it's REALLY hard, but I'm sure he'll miss you and someday he'll terribly do that he has no choice but to contact you back. Guys like being chased too, and when someone suddenly disappears, they'll miss the feeling.
It's hard but try to focus yourself into the other side of the world. Learn new things. A hobby, a sport. Something you truly love. Love yourself this time and save your PRIDE. Change your hair if that will make you feel good. Remember the only goal here is your self-improvement. If he's coming back, then at least you know you're better and that would give him the regret of having to leave you. If he's not coming back, PRAY. Really, it helps. Talk to your God and ask him to help you cope with this ordeal. In the end, thank him 'cause this will help you be a stronger and better person. FLY HIGH, LOVE YOURSELF. Love attracts love. :) Goodluck!
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