A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am a relatively sexually inexperienced male in his late 30's ( I was married most of my 20's and 30's). I've done most things sexually, but only with one woman, and the other 3 or so women I had sex with were not long enough relationships to get into a lot of stuff.I am widowed for a few years and now with a sexually open minded woman. She has not had a ton of partners either (she says 4 others) but she is MUCH more sexually open minded. She loves the following acts, and I am curious how common they are with women. My wife was not a sexual person and did none of these things, but we were happy:masturbationusing vibratorsshe loves the taste of her juicesshe loves to swallowshe likes to lick her juices and mine off my cock after sexshe loves porn once in a whileshe fantasizes about non-consentual sex and threesomes with 2 menI am thrilled with everything, but am curious about some of these...especially the fact she licks her fingers after masturbation or after I finger her. Never even saw that in porn too much.Just curious. I feel I have a rare gem here, but maybe I was just missing out before. I hate to say that, because I loved my wife, but the sex was admittedly not the best.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): Your new girlfriend sounds perfectly normal and, lucky for you, very comfortable and in tune with her sexuality. All of the things you mention do not put her in the realm of psycho (as long as the fantasies remain fantasies and as long as it is all consensual and you are on the same page). I think you should honestly settle in and enjoy the ride. And make sure you communicate so that you are both comfortable with what you are doing. I don't know many women who don't appreciate a good vibrator--most couples incorporate it into their sexual line-up. It can take a lot of pressure off the guy if you are tired or not feeling up to a lot of exertion to use a toy. The fantasies are not uncommon--I think women face a lot of societal sexual constraints, so there is something liberating in "being forced" (BUT ONLY in a fantasy setting!!) that allows the woman to enjoy the experience. The juices thing doesn't work for me, but others like it. We're all different and the blessing you have been given (by way of tragedy) is that now you can discovery the nuances of this new relationship. Happy times to you!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2010): Rape fantasies and threesomes and a couple of the other things you've listed are, in my opinion, weird as all get out. Only you can decide whether you have a rare gem or not. She's probably rare (weird) but a gem? That is your call. Do you consider good sex to be the kinky stuff? Or do you consider good sex to be passion?
Just for the record, women do not have to rely on vibrators and if they do, there's something wrong there. I've never owned one and don't need one. Threesomes? Rape? yuck.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 November 2010):
 Its normal. People are different. But I know plenty of women who are open sexually, and personally I am just like this new woman of yours.
STOP comparing everything to what you've seen in porn. I don't get why men do that. Porn is porn, real life is different.
This new girlfriend of yours is very normal, in fact most women masturbate, a lot of women like porn, about every woman on earth has fantasies, and we are dependent on vibrators for most part if we want to have an orgasm. Very normal indeed. There are a lot of sexually open women out there, and for us this is nothing special. Then again there are just about as many conservative men and women, or men and women with a low sex drive, or they are shy and just not that open about sharing their sexual habits.
You really do have a gem though, a good sex life where both parts enjoy what they do is great! It's not that rare, but it is definitely something you should value!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2010): You think your wife never masturbated? Lets be clear, she did just not in front of you. All those things you describe about this new lady don't sound like anything out of the ordinary.
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