A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:does inviting your date into your house after the date mean you want to have sex?we meant on line, had 2 dates, where I met him there. i said he could pick me up for hte 3rd date. he seems kind of cheap and i suspect he may be dating other people as well.if i invite him in, will he expect sex?
View related questions:
cheap Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2012): I just love that talk when guys saying that paying for a girls meal means buying love. This is just a cheap man talk. Nothing can be worse than a cheap guy. You saw it immediately and trust your intuition. If he can't afford to date several women at the same time than he should date one or two at a time, as many as he can afford.Ever watched "Milionares match" show? When the match maker asked how many dates men should pay for a woman, she says 'always'. And when she is contradicted with words' but that's unfair to a man' , she says ,well, life is unfair. She sys that a woman can prepare dinner but there should be no paying for his dinner out thing. Men these days trying to mix equality with sameness. They think we are the same, but we are not, or it's a good excuse for them to be cheap.But anyway, going back to you inviting him over, I don't think it should be looked at as an invitation for sex. But regardless I don't think it's a great idea for sex if he is cheap, and dating other women. Unless you want a little fling
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 April 2012):
 I agree with Cerberus. You should NOT give guys on the Internet your address.
Met them in PUBLIC places til you get a good feel for the "real" guy behind the computer.
If you invite him in, will he expect sex? Maybe. But it really comes down to YOU to set limits. Don't offer alcohol, don't "go with the flow" if he starts to initiate sex. Just be upfront about where you limits are.
If you think he is dating others, I would go extra slow honesty.
...............................
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (22 April 2012):
 Where ever you are with him and even if he expects sex, you can say NO. If he doesn't like it then he can take a hike!
If he is a bit cheap and is dating other women, maybe he isn't the right one for you.
Aim higher!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2012): Yes it does mean you want sex and even if that's not your intention it's usually the end result. The leading a horse to water analogy is apt in this situation.
OP you shouldn't be giving a guy you met online your address on the third date. Even to pick you up, you really know nothing about this guy.
What do you mean by cheap OP? Because if he's just sharing costs with you instead of paying for everything then that's not cheap. As far as dating others you met him online, what do you expect? Everyone I know who does the online thing has 3 or 4 people they're "getting to know". It's the most efficient way, 3 out of 4 people they meet online end up not being suitable so they save time by getting to know a few people at the same time. Welcome to a world where we guys don't buy your love anymore and we have the option of getting to know more than one person at a time.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2012): If you barely know him and have already started to form a bad impression. Why are you considering inviting him into your home so quickly?
He could be a player or worse. Not least, you have to consider the privacy and safety of others you might live with, like children. Or your own safety if you live alone. If you do invite him into your home after such a short acquaintance it could give him the wrong impression about you and leave him thinking you want sex. That could be quite understandable from his point of view.
I would leave the home visits until you know him a little better because at present you dont really know much about him and what your gut is telling you doesnt sound very promising.
...............................
A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (22 April 2012):
Yes, it does. Even if in your mind it doesn't, for whatever reason to men, it means you might want to have some "fun." I had to learn the hard way and had a couple guys get mad at me when I rejected them after they came into my place after a date.
Some guys have invited themselves asking if they could come in, I tell them, "Sure, I don't mind, but we're not having sex. Sorry, but a lot of guys get the wrong idea." Maybe it's too blunt, but oh well. At least they're told and I haven't had problems after just telling them.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2012): Go with your gut feeling hunn. And if he doesnt even have the decensy to pick you up for the first and second date, i'd be careful.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2012): If you met him online and have only been on two dates then yeah it's a bit soon to invite him over and he may well expect sex.
More importantly, do you really want a complete stranger (who you already think is cheap) to know where you live - on you own?
...............................
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (22 April 2012):
 As The Realist says it depends on when you invite him in; before or after.
I would recommend not inviting him in as that, in my opinion, is a bit too familiar for a third date. It used to be appropriate for the man to pick you up at home at least, but with online dating, for security reasons, you should keep your address private.
On a side note, please do not offer to cook him dinner or perform any other domestic favours. No doubt you've had a life time of cooking and cleaning for others. You don't need to start doing it for someone new. Start the way you mean to continue.
...............................
A
female
reader, Auntie La La +, writes (21 April 2012):
Possibly...... The saying "guys only want one thing" can sometimes unfortunatley be true.
However dont judge him till you know his character better, other than inviting him round, try not to give mixed messages.
If you invite him in the house during the evening most guys will have learnt from cheesy romance films that they are being invited in for sex.
Maybe have a drink in your house before the date and after the date just say good night at the door.
...............................
A
male
reader, The Realist +, writes (21 April 2012):
 I think if you invite him in before the date then no he won't but if it is at the end of the evening then yeah he will most likely be expecting something.
It all depends on the timing.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2012): Hi
If he seems kinda cheap, you suspect hes dating others, its a guy of the Net and only 3rd date.Then don't let him near your street let alone your home.
Yes it is signaling you want sex,in my view.If you do,fine but do consider personal safety.
...............................
|
