A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello, im having touble with my boyfriend. I dont know if im jelouse or i have trust issues, which he's never done anything to make me not trust him. Well anyways Im white/ and have cherakee indian in me and he's Puerto rican. He told me he never dated a white girl and never wass interested in them at all when we first met. Then we started hanging out and he said their was something about me and hes so atracted to me and he said he never seen a white girl so beatuiful and we started dateing, that was about a year and 6 months, we fell in love after a year. But i noticed i get really jelouse when were watching tv or something and he says stuff like " she's so pretty" and then he once said " that girl is so badass' but its always a black girl he's comlimenting, now before i go any further dont them im raciest cause im not i love all color, I just feel inscure that hes gunna leave me cause im white? He's the sweetest guy i know but i get really jelouse easy when he says any little thing about a black girl cause black woman are beautil and deffintily beautiful to him. I dont know what to do i feel horrible like im not good enouph? He's says hes atracted to me and he always holds me and we snuggle at night even after sex, and he every day tells me Im beautil and he say's he wants me to have his kids, but im so insucre about everything all the sudden :/ it makes me sad cause he makes me so happy and hes such a wonderful boyfriend, but i dont know how to stop and not be jelouse and im scared hes gunna leave me for it. Like the other night we got in a fight and i said sometimes i don't even know why your with me and He got so upset and yelled, he's never raised his voice at me so i dont know please help what do you think?
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female
reader, jr23 +, writes (25 April 2012):
 "He doesn't know these women he commented on,and if he did perhaps he wouldn't like them. So what do you mean by that jr23?"
What I meant was since he doesn't know them, all he has to go on is looks. If he talked to these women and got to know them, maybe they wouldn't be his type. I was mainly just trying to get the OP to understand that his attraction to them is purely physical, and he doesn't want them over her. He likes her for both looks AND personality, and them only for their looks.
Sorry for the late response, I haven't checked the updates in awhile.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2012): He doesn't know these women he commented on,and if he did perhaps he wouldn't like them. So what do you mean by that jr23?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2012): @jr23 Thank so much that made me feel alot better. And i don't wanna sound like i dont want him to like black woman cause i even have black friends, but just i guess in my mind it sounds alot worst that he's only ever dated black women and never tryed anything else, but your absoulutly right! thank you so much
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A
female
reader, jr23 +, writes (22 April 2012):
He may find black women attractive, but it is purely physical. He doesn't know these women he commented on, and if he did perhaps he wouldn't like them. There is more to a relationship than just physical attraction. He obviously loves you for your personality AND looks. Therefore, he doesn't feel like he's missing out on all the black women by being with you. Besides, he told you he finds you the most beautiful white woman he's ever seen. I'd say that's quite a compliment, considering all the white women he's seen in his whole life. And if he's never found a white woman attractive before, then you really must have stood out to him (in a good way). That's just in your looks alone. He's also attracted to your personality which is why he's stayed with you. Men get bored of women real fast who have looks but no personality to back it up. He loves you for both, don't ruin it with your insecurity.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2012): @ janniepeg, Thank you for your advice makes sense and i dont mean to hurt him with what i say and i dont want to its just sometimes i get so upset i just say stuff :/
I guess its me and my insucurties :(
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (21 April 2012):
 I never had relationships with Asian men, my own kind, but that doesn't mean if a good one comes along and becomes my boyfriend I would day dream about other races and feel like I am missing out. However I would be more careful with my words when I know what I say could hurt my boyfriend. I think you are overreacting. He does not know why it is upsetting you, and why you got so sensitive about the race issue. Ask him to be more understanding about your insecurity. Sure he should have free speech and free thought but he will get his rewards if he can be more sensitive to your feelings and hold back his compliments to black girls. I don't think commenting on TV makes him want to go out with a black girl. I don't think he is that shallow.
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