A
female
age
30-35,
*pendy
writes:Why did my boyfriend do that? did he really love me? ?I was with my ex boyfriend for 5months, we were so in love and everyone thought. We were the cutesy couple. I believed him when he told me he loved me, but I was so paranoid in our relationship cos he made me feel like that:(A week ago he told me he wants be single cos he doesn't wanna cheat on me and hurt me in a long run. He told me he still loves me but is best we separate and keep been friends and we might get back together someday, I said I don't want to be friends he got upset when I said that.Any ways his sister and I are close and she said when went through his phone all his calls and texts were all me and his best friend (male)So if there's no ne else then why did he push me away, I love him so much, he says he loves me enough to let me WTF? :( I miss him he was my special friend:( he said he didn't lose interest in me nor did he get bored:(We're both 21Thanks..xx
View related questions:
best friend, get back together, my ex, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, uncle bob  +, writes (13 March 2011):
 You say your both 21. That's still very young.He may have decided that he's not ready to commit to an exclusive relationship. I'm guessing he feels there's so much more he wants to do and learn, or places to see, before he commits to anything. You're saying his "conniving" and "deceitful" sister, went through his phone records,(which she had NO right to do, by the way)and found he wasn't talking to any other girls. That should tell you a lot!There's also a chance he may have felt too restricted,suffocating so to speak. Maybe he feels he has no room to "breathe"In either case, I really don't think you should blame yourself. It's a decision he made based on what he needs right now. I don't think you, as an individual, play a part in his decision at all.You've invested only 5 months of your life, a very short time in the average person's life, so you really haven't lost much, have you?Your both still so very young. Give yourselves the time to grow, the time to find out who you really are as individuals.Then, and only then, should either one of you consider entering into a committed relationship with another!I wish the you both, all the best life has to offer.
A
female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (13 March 2011):
 Yes, five months is a very short period of time. Maybe as others have said, you were in a bit of a rush and it scared him off. You HAVE to go a lot slower then you two apparently were doing - because it takes time, quite a bit of time - to really get to know another person, and be able to take off the rose-colored glasses of infatuation/lust to be able to see him/her as she/he really is, bad points as well as good, so that you can determine whether you are compatible - or not.So it evidently wasn't that he had another girl in mind, but that he didn't want to let you down, by not being able to meet your expectations.And now? Well, it doesn't sound as if there is going to be much opportunity to go out together (even if you don't have sex) so that it won't be easy getting to know him anyway.I wouldn't call him if I were you. Remember: he said he wanted to be friends; you said you did not, so stick with that decision. You could, however, send him a nice (not romantic and sentimental) birthday card, or Christmas, if his birthday has already come and gone. Just something casual and leave it at that.
...............................
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (13 March 2011):
Hi there. Perhaps in the relationship, you made him your whole life.
It's a trap a lot of women can fall into.
What often happens, is once the woman starts to get really involved with the man in her life, she starts to give up seeing all her friends and just being completely available for him always. Never wanting to say no to going out with him. In other words, always being available for him at the drop of a hat - to the exclusion of all else.
If this was you, it could have scared him off a bit.
If on the other hand it wasn't you, and you did have a life of your own and seeing your own friends, well then maybe he just got to a point, where he felt that things were moving along too fast and he wasn't ready for it.
If this is what happened, it probably is the wisest thing that he has done by breaking it off for a while, so that he can do more with his life and working out what it is he actually wants from life now.
If you two are meant to be together in the long run, well in the end you will be.
It appears that that time isn't yet. A few things need to happen first, for both of you. More events need to unfold of their own accord.
What will be will be. Things in life can't be forced to happen any sooner than they are meant to.
Everything in life happens for a reason. Over time, that reason will be revealed.
Take care and best wishes.
...............................
A
female
reader, Libra1963  +, writes (13 March 2011):
 When relationships begin there needs to be a bonding time, a time to get to know each other. Five months is a very short time. You may think you were in love but I believe it was more infatuation and lust. This is good as most relationships start like this. What you both need now is to find out what you love about each other - get to know each other, go on dates, have fund and a laugh - outside of the bedroom.
It sounds like he has retreated to his cave as things were probably happening too fast. Back off a bit. Give him some space - go out with your friends - both male and female, throw yourself into work. Give him a chance to call you. If he does not call call him but be light and cheerful. REFRAIN from sex as this complicates things. An idea relationship should not have sex before marriage but considering the times, at least a good few months in order to allow the relationship to establish.
Wish you all the best.
...............................
A
female
reader, Libra1963 +, writes (13 March 2011):
When relationships begin there needs to be a bonding time, a time to get to know each other. Five months is a very short time. You may think you were in love but I believe it was more infatuation and lust. This is good as most relationships start like this. What you both need now is to find out what you love about each other - get to know each other, go on dates, have fund and a laugh - outside of the bedroom.
It sounds like he has retreated to his cave as things were probably happening too fast. Back off a bit. Give him some space - go out with your friends - both male and female, throw yourself into work. Give him a chance to call you. If he does not call call him but be light and cheerful. REFRAIN from sex as this cimplicates things. An idea relationship should not have sex before marriage but considering the times, at least a good few months in order to allow the relationship to establish.
Wish you all the best.
...............................
|
