A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've tried every sensible dating site in the last 16 months. Paid and free. I have had two dates in that whole time. I've had profiles reviewed and everyone has come back saying my photos are good, my profile is interesting and they don't understand why I getting so little response.When I contact someone, I don't ramble on, but I make it clear I have read their profile, ask them something based on what I have read, my grammar and spelling are good.Makes no odds. I don't expect millions of dates, but I have only had three replies in all that time and the two dates were women who contacted me (the first I dated for a few weeks but she admitted that she was using me to see if she was over her ex who cheated on her twice; the second seemed genuine but her shifts made meeting up no more than once a fortnight which I don't believe allows anything to develop).I am fairly certain the reason is because I don't want kids and although I live in a reasonably well-populated area. I don't meet any single women through my hobbies or work either. I have many female friends who all say I am a catch (aside from the kids thing) but they have no single friends to try and set me up with. Speed dating similarly doesn't work for me because if you do get matched, they are never people who don't want kids, or they already have them.What the hell can I do to at least get some dates, even if not meet the love of my life?!?! At my age (37) I am not going to hang out in clubs!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies  +, writes (23 November 2011):
 you sound like a difficult person to be honest. highly demanding and expecting of others. be more relaxed and humorous. why dont u want kids? is there a medical reason or u just dont want kids? if its the latter let me tell you that you might meet a woman,the love of your life and just WOULD LOVE to have kids with her. do not state you dont want kids so abruptly. leave your options open. allow yourself to be crazy. contact women,show enthusiasm. be funny, make them feel good. dont talk about ur job or degrees. good luck. Smile.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2011): Dating sites work for some but I think they are he exception rather than the rule. What I know for sure is you've got to get out there and go where there are real people you can meet face to face and talk to, go to places and strike up conversations; because the only way to meet people is getting out.The people you meet may not be your dream partner, they may be a guy who introduces you to his cousin whose friend is your dream woman! I made the mistake of frittering away my time holed up in my house and working and when I realised I wanted to find a companion I didn't have the right social network or habits for meeting people. I also tried the internet dating thing and it was not worth a single cent I paid, except to show me that it didn't work for me.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (22 November 2011):
 You just need to keep trying and not give up. Nobody has the answer to this question. It will be a lot more difficult for you, because most woman at your age either want children before it is to late or else they already have children so yes it is going to be hard. But don't give up you never know when the right woman will come along so keep up with your profile and hope for the best.
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A
female
reader, Little Bunny +, writes (22 November 2011):
What age of women are you looking for? Typically, woman between 25 and 45 are looking to have a family with children or already have children still living at home. You are limiting your pool of prospects and that is fine if you don't want to deal with kids. That's only honest. It may take some time to find a date that fits what you are looking to find.You are right to not seek to find women in clubs. You are seeking single, career women - find where they hang out. They are out there.
Good Luck
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A
female
reader, bluecow +, writes (22 November 2011):
 I'm 31, and given up on dating sites. To be honest I seem to meet more people now by going out with friends (no I dont mean nightclubs) and talking to people. By being sociable I seem to get more dates. I'm still waiting for my prince charming (after kissing a big nasty frog I'm being very careful), but I am now enjoying being single. I have met some really lovely people, who I now count as friends, and through them I am meeting more.I guess what I am trying to say is that to be available, you need to be out there. Go for a drink with friends, join a reading club (or whatever takes your fancy) and TALK. By striking up conversation in social situations its much easier to see and meet lots of new people. OK you might not meet your ideal woman right away but the chances are much higher and you will make lots of new friends along the way!
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A
male
reader, Daniel the love doctor +, writes (22 November 2011):
 Well when you're using the online dating sites, the response rate is typically lower for guys on the male/female ratio. Generally women receive more responses than men- and when you send a greeting or message with your profile included, you're competing with every other guy that sends messages and their profile to that woman as well. Now... your picture, and what you say in the profile also plays a role in the response rate. And since you said you don't want kids in your profile, that will lower the response rate as well.But you shouldn't put all of your eggs in one basket. In other words, expand your search. Dabble a little bit with online dating services, and chatline phone services, hire a matchmaker, go to more speed dating events, go to singles/networking events to meet new people, talk to women outside, on a train, bus, etc. Here's some additional reading that may be beneficial for you:http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-to-meet-the-man-or-woman-of.htmlhttp://www.dearcupid.org/question/what--women-want-most-from-a-guy.htmlhttp://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-to-approach-a-girlthe-right-way.htmlBest of luck to you!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2011): If I knew the answer I would be a millionaire...you seem to have covered all options so I guess you will have to wait and be open, flirt and hope.. Or walk around your town centre with a sandwichboard saying Ime free- are you?
Good luck - and don't give up
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