| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend and I had known each other for 4 months now. Before we were in a relationship, I was the one who texted him everyday and he willText back. We also went out because I was giving him hints that i'll be in town on my days off( I used to live outside London before). Recently, we saw the girl he was dating before at a party. I found out that he was the one who texted her first and asked her out a few times but she was always busy. Now I'm doubting our relationship because I was the one who texted him a lot at first. I feel bad that he didn't pursue me and he pursued the other girl. He says he doesnt want her anymore now. But I kept wondering if she had something that I don't because he didn't text me at first. I can't get over this fact. Should I just find someone else?
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female
reader, PerhapsNot  +, writes (23 November 2011):
 Yes, he was more into his ex - whether it was a greater sexual attraction, or he vibed with her personality more - than he was into you. I know a lot of women like to make excuses to make themselves feel better, or like to say " she is an ex for a reason". It doesn't mean your relationship will fail, or that he doesn't love you, it just means he put in more effort into his ex because he was more into her in the beginning.
If it's just texting, I wouldn't worry about it. IF however he treated her better than he treats you, THEN it's a problem.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (22 November 2011):
This is one of those 'you're reading too much into it' situations.
Look closely at the facts - he ran around after her and she became an ex. Little wonder he's not quite running around after you in the same way. He used that tactic before and he got hurt. So he won't use the same tactic again. Men aren't stupid, you know. If something doesn't work, we tend not to bother with it again. If running around and texting one woman didn't work for your boyfriend, logically he won't use the same thing with you. That doesn't mean he cares for you less, it just means that he's changed the way he works to ensure he's not lumbered with another ex.
I think if you go down the route of testing him and trying to make him run after you (as others have suggested), you'll lose him. He won't want to be with someone who's going to start making him chase like a madman again. So instead, I think you need to sit down and explain to him that it would mean a lot if he started texting you sometimes.
Remember - she's an ex. You're a girlfriend. There's a difference, and if you try to look for what they had together, you'll get dumped.
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A
female
reader, mammaboo +, writes (22 November 2011):
 You must of gone to great lengths to find out this info.
It seems that the girl was unavailable and this make alot of men chase, maybe you should take a leaf out of her book.
But becareful not to use it to much or he may not stay withyou either!
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A
female
reader, mammaboo +, writes (22 November 2011):
You must of gone to great lengths to find out this info.
It seems that the girl was unavailable and this make alot of men chase, maybe you should take a leaf out of her book.
But becareful not to use it to much or he may not stay withyou either!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (22 November 2011):
 I get this. I was the one who went after my boyfriend and at first I rowed the relationship boat and he went along for the ride...
as we got more involved there were times he was rowing and I rested...
now it kind of balances out...
maybe back off a bit and see if he comes closer to you
if that does not make you feel better then perhaps you should consider leaving as you may never feel all that secure in this relationship.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (22 November 2011):
 Talk to him about it and tell him how you feel instead of driving yourself crazy thinking about it. Yes he pursued her and then you came on the seen, you showed him you where interested and you chased him. At the end of the day it should not always be up to the guy to do the chasing. You need to talk to him and tell him how you feel and be honest with him. See what he has to say as he is the only one that has the answers that you are looking for.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 November 2011):
 Who is he dating her or you?
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