A
female
age
30-35,
*arissalove5
writes:I had met this guy 2 years ago. He came up to me at school and asked me if I wanted to study the bible. He was with a group of friends. So I Said yes.at that time he was our campus minister for the young adults In out church. And for the longest time we never spoke. But we knew of each other and I didn't think much of him. He had a girlfriend but they broke up. So now last November I noticed he started looking at me more. And checking me out and hugging me a lot. And we had been friends on Facebook. I noticed online he would like a lot of my stuff,compliment me a lot and defend me. So I decided to sendhim a request in Instagram.next thing Ok noticed he blocked me. I hadn't said or done anything. And his account was private. I'm now so confused what happen. So I removed him on facebook. I think He noticed. I have no idea why he has blocked me for no reason. I thought he and I were friends.
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female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (2 May 2018):
 Social Media is a whole other ball game. I could speculate as to why he blocked you and such but ask yourself, why does it hurt so much?
I don't really care what happens on social media and you shouldn't too... that stuff will drive you crazy if you focus too much on it.
The two of you were acquainted. I would not call that a true friendship, on that grounds; let it go. It's just one of those things.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2018): The more appropriate term to use in reference to the connection you had with the guy on social media is "contact." Please don't let it hurt your feelings.
If he invited you to Bible study, that was his way of offering you spiritual-enlightenment and reaching out to you as a spiritual-sister and child of God. If you go to church regularly, you'd realize there is a lot of embracing and handshaking going on. That's all about love and fellowship. It is symbolic of our spiritual-connection with God and each other. Maybe he went overboard, but he has a responsibility to correct himself.
His girlfriend may have also found access to his accounts and decided to block so many female-contacts; or he may have done it to prove something to her, or some other love-interest in his life. Just because you somehow got wind of their breakup doesn't mean you know all the inside details about it. It also may mean you were sending far too much material, and that justifies stopping it. You seem too upset about it, and maybe haven't admitted to yourself you want to be more than friends.
I do not recommend approaching him about it. Save yourself undue embarrassment. He doesn't owe you an explanation. You're an adult. Take it at face-value. He's not your friend.
He may have offered you hugs which were misconstrued as flirtation, making passes, or showing you romantic-interest. Could it be possible he realized you were taking all of his gestures the wrong-way, and decided he better end it before it goes too far?
What he meant on friendly-terms, he probably realized he was sending all the wrong signals; and in a panic he just decided to close-off access to his account to only certain "contacts." I've had to do that due to the type of language, posts, and inappropriate material people were flooding into my timeline. It was either too much, or in bad-taste. So I blocked them altogether. I was offended. It was necessary, because they happen to know my family can see all that trash! I don't like people flirting with me on social media; when they know I am committed. Blocking is the best way to hush a crush! No matter how subtle, you should stop flirtations before they get out of hand.
"Friend" is a Facebook term for contact. It can't always be taken literally. People have a right to be selective as to who has contact or access to their accounts. Just because you're okay on one social media account doesn't mean you're welcome on all of them. That shouldn't vilify the guy, nor should you take it personally. You're an adult.
You have as much right to pick and choose; and equal-opportunity to do the same. Some people do it to keep the flow of posts to a minimum; and some prefer limited public-access to certain account feeds.
I don't think his behavior was necessarily rude, I just don't think his connection with you was as close, or the type of relationship you thought it was. He just isn't a friend. So what? He spends none of his personal-time with you anyway.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (29 April 2018):
 He isn't your friend, he is just some guy you know from campus, church and social media.
THAT is not a friend.
He might have wanted to keep his Instagram private from "casual acquaintances" - hence the blocking you.
As for the whole looking at you more and hugging you... That's a tad creepy. Playing your "knight" in shiny armor and "defending you on Facebook... from what?
My guess is he is older than you and someone (or himself) noticed that he wasn't being totally appropriate around you so perhaps the blocking came from that?
Besides, OP
Facebook is... well, Facebook. It's NOT reality. People who add you and you add back aren't really your friends unless you actually INTERACT! Get to know you, TALK to you.
Don't confuse the Social media Idiocy with reality.
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A
female
reader, 02DuszJ  +, writes (29 April 2018):
 Social media is a WASTE OF TIME. Nothing you see on there is real life, people post what they WANT you to see i.e. their *best* side and is not a reflection of reality!
If someone is using social media to play games or make someone feel bad what does that say about them? Seems he's either playing games which is nasty, manipulative and immature OR he didn't have the guts to tell you in person that he can't be bothered to maintain a real life friendship. Which is not a reflection on you but him that he hides behind social media, and that he disposes of people so rudely.
Don't forget any relationship that is primarily based on sitting behind a computer screen is not sustainable! Why do you think so many long distance relationships don't last?
Humans need closeness and intimacy, which is hard to simulate online. If a guy is not calling you wanting to SEE you or spend time regularly with you he's not that into you! Texts/ fb messages mean little.
This guy is a best a flake. If he contacts you again shoot him down because it means he's playing mind games! Not a serious or wholesome guy.
Don't take it to heart it's nothing to do with you, just the world we live in.
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female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (29 April 2018):
 People are very weird on social media, its why I don't use it. Many of them are very fake. You did the right thing by removing him. If he ever should try to befriend you again on it, I'd block him and if meeting in person I certainly wouldn't let him hug you. Who needs fair weather friends?
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female
reader, Greene +, writes (29 April 2018):
Social media is a new invention and it's pretty weird. As you just described, a person can show friendship literally by clicking/touching "like" or "follow" and then potentially dissolve a friendship by pressing another button. It may be normal/common now, but this is way too casual when it comes to real people and real emotions.I suggest making things "real," even if it's a little scary. Just talk to him in person. Bring it up in whatever way you feel is best in the moment for finding out his reasons in this case and what type of person he is overall. It sounds like he's hiding behind apps to send some kind of message to you. Don't you hide wimpily behind apps yourself, trying to decipher what he's doing and what type of person he is just by reading virtual clues.He might be well-intentioned; or he might be a complete jerk, realizing that it makes people insecure when they get rejected, and that social media allows one to reject people REALLY easily, without confrontation. And then reap the "rewards" of making someone insecure. (Beware: some men may do this as a way to soften you up to get you in bed; if you're already feeling bad because they rejected you, then you'll feel extra great when they decide they like you again, and you might be more willing to do what they want, whatever that happens to be, in order to avoid enduring another pang of rejection, which they've proven they are very capable of doling out.)Anyway, his behavior seems rude. Get to the bottom of it. And remember, hot-and-cold relationships don't count. When you're in a friendship or relationship with someone, they need to show they like you (or have a very valid reason for being shy or reclusive) or they're not being kind to you.
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