A
female
age
30-35,
*ocoa
writes:why is it that i love my boyfriend and i cant seem to live without him but when ever i notice a new guy i feel like cheating i feel like i wanna start something new with someone else.. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, confused berry  +, writes (15 March 2009):
I feel the same way. I am 18 years old and I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. All my high school I have been with him.it so far seems serious I kno his parents and he knows mines too we r also sexually active he's my first one and I am his first too he has plans with me . I just started working too and there is this guy who has my attention so far but he's currently dating a girl but has offered to take me out and stuff and I have also met his dad and he also says dat I am his future to be daughter-in-law. I know this guys isn't stable type because he has mentioned to me that he's the type that loves to enjoy life because life is to short and I really don't mind dat. I feel like I need to have fun. I have been very commited to my boyfriend but he doesn't derserve this he's a great guy we have also been in trouble with the law together and stuff but I want to try this other guy out too I am very confused I feel like crying. Plz help me
A
male
reader, mephistophiles  +, writes (29 May 2008):
 Actually Laura, it is not a black angel, it is me, yes good old Satan. I sooooooo love being omnipotent .
Cocoa, you sound entirely committed to your relationship. You need to decide if it truly what you want or if you are just looking for a way out ie the other guys you see. if you are not entirely happy with your BF, speak to him and work things out or end it. You both deserve to be happy. Good luck.
Well have to run, Famine and Pestilence are fighting with War again, god only knows where Death is with the horses, and he had better not be loitering around Iraq again, or there will be the devil to pay...
Yours truly
Mephistophiles, aka Satan
...............................
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (29 May 2008):
 There is a white angel and a black angel in you .
That is the black angel when you have those thoughts.
The white angel triumphed in the end.
...............................
A
male
reader, Replacement  +, writes (28 May 2008):
 This is a very common feeling, I would venture to say that just about everyone (especially in your age range) has similar feelings. Men and women alike have a tendency to crave "new" and exciting experiences. I "played the field" a lot when I was your age, and the feelings wore off after I explored them. It's just that I wasn't ready for a committed relationship yet. Now I am in a committed relationship, I no longer have the temptation to cheat, and I honestly don't believe that I ever will again. I think that if your needs are fully satisfied by the person you're with, you won't really feel tempted to cheat on them. Look at what is missing in your relationship. If you can't think of anything then maybe it's just a phase, because of how young you are. It might fade in time, or you might feel compelled to explore it... just go with your gut. Sometimes breaking up is necessary to discover who you really are.
...............................
A
male
reader, jonesen12 +, writes (28 May 2008):
its sipmle.. there is something that your current bf is not fullfilling that u want.. is he too shy.. does he not please me during sex.. am i more experimental.. any of these things can be the answer.. when u are talking to other guys im sure u get an adrenaline rush.. cause its exciting and new.. the passion and excitement of being with another man turns u on and makes u feel good inside.. so the solution.......pay attention to what happens if and when u talk to other guys.. find key things that are said or done that make u feel different and then try to apply those with your current bf
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): Life is about experience and through experience you learn. Only by knowing other people will you find out that you really like him or not.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): It could be your age and the fact that you are way too young to be settling down with just one bloke. You want to play the field, yet be with someone, sounds like a classic age thing. You should be free and single to go out with whoever you choose, you are young.
take care
xx
...............................
A
female
reader, Upenn_09 +, writes (28 May 2008):
 I think that the minute there's thoughts of infidelity is because something is missing in the relationship. As yourself what is it that you are mising from him and you should probably ask him the same...
...............................
A
female
reader, Susan Strict  +, writes (28 May 2008):
 Many of us feel like cheating when there's someone new and exciting around, and I think that if they were being honest you would find that most men would admit to feeling like that far more than most of us do.
It's a feeling that we generally supress, because we know very well that we have picked a partner and we intend to stay with him. Some of us don't even admit it to ourselves - the thought is squashed away into a dark corner of the mind before it has had a chance to form properly. I don't think there is anyone anywhere who has genuinely never experienced some sort of attraction towards someone other than their partner - even if it's only an "impossible" attraction of some celebrity or perhaps just the character that celebrity played in a film (as I might have mentioned once before, I've never quite got over Patrick Swayze in "Dirty Dancing"...)
So, back to real life, of course there may come a time when you decide it really is time to move on to another boyfriend. But if you are finding that the feeling is happening over and over again with more than one potential new lover, then I suspect it's no more than the "fantasy" of the possibility of something new and exciting. I don't think it "means" anything more than that you are an emotional and sensual person with strong urges. So enjoy the fantasy. Keep it in your own head, and make the most of the boyfriend you have and you love. Just sometimes, you might close your eyes when he kisses you (or whatever!) and imagine someone else. That's OK, as long as afterwards you remember that it's him you really want and not some fantasy lover who changes as often as the weather.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): Maybe you like the feeling of being wanted and being liked.
Maybe you like the feeling of being desired.
This is normal and acceptable. But would you actuall cheat? Would you betray his trust for you and do something that would hurt him so much? If yes, then you need to seriously think about whether or not you are content with this relationship and wether you are satisfied being with one man for now.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): How long have you been together?perhaps things are wearing off?and is he your first serious boyfriend and you feel perhaps you havent experienced enough?or perhaps you like the attention from other guys?maybe you think you would cheat but when it came to it perhaps you wouldnt, but you need to think seriously about your boyfriend and whether he deserves you feeling like this,and whether you should talk to him, good luck!
...............................
|
