| A
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: After reading all the schoolgirls' crushes on their teachers on Dear Cupid, I realized how naive I was. I posted a question a few weeks ago about my feeling for my university professor. I have experienced a traumatic relationship. I was beaten by my ex-boyfriend. I have transferred to another university to avoid him. I thought everything would go smoothly in the new university, but unfortunately, the memory is still haunting me. I have been admiring that teacher for almost half a year. I assume it is understandable since most young lads are indulged in causal sex and alcohol. I guess I developed the feeling because he has once treated me with respect and kindness. I understand that my love for him is destined to be unrequited. I have been resisting the urge to fantasize about him. I thought I have done a good job. However, after I realized that I might have failed his module, I had a mental breakdown. I even had suicidal thoughts. One of my housemates even attempted to make me vacate by using emotional blackmail. I have now moved to a very nice student house. But I have been isolating myself from social life. I know it is a cycle. The more I isolate from social life, the more obsessive I become. It is very hard for me to contact with friends in my social circle. Once I moved out from the student house I used to live in, rumours spread like wildfire. I assume many people have now heard of my emotional problems. Does anybody there has a similar problem and has overcome it?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (28 May 2008):
 Hi, I'm sorry to hear about your situation. You transferred to another university in hopes that this would help you recover from the abuse you experienced, you found yourself attracted to a professor, then worried so much about failing a class that you had a breakdown. This then led you to move away again and you find yourself isolated. Did I sum that up correctly?
I'd like to be able to give you succinct advice that will solve all the problems you're facing in a few short paragraphs, but I think that you need to take some steps to help yourself now.
First, you are dealing with your problems by avoiding them, and this is not going to be a successful coping strategy in the longterm. You need to develop some new skills in dealing with the adversity that life seems to throw at some people.
Second, the abuse you suffered at the hands of the boyfriend has made you vulnerable and doubting yourself.
And the mental breakdown and suicidal thoughts, combined with the first two points, tells me that you need to seek some counseling at the school. There should be an office where they can match you up with a therapist who can work with you on tackling these issues. Avoiding people, worrying about your reputation, these behaviors are not going to fix the situation. You need to become proactive, and face these problems head on. I know that this is very easy for me to say, and it will be difficult for you to make this step, but DO IT! Pick up the phone, and call the counseling office and ASK FOR HELP.
That's all you have to do today, just take that one step toward developing some new skills to help you cope. That's all I ask of you today. Tomorrow, you can then take the next step, tiny as it may be, but the next step that will put your feet on the path to mental health and stronger new you. One step at a time, but you must make that first big one, call and ask for help.
All the best, and take care of yourself. You deserve to lead a happy, balanced life and you know this too.
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