A
female
age
30-35,
*il_dreamer
writes:Im listening to the advice ppl give me bout waiting for sex, but i have another theory.i know a girls first time is special and something she will remember BUT, i dont know if i can lose it to someone i absolutely love, and then lose HIM. I have felt hearaches that given me the worst feelings everrr. so if i actually fall for someone completely, lose IT to him, then end up losing HIM, i dont know if i can take it especially knowin he was my first. so if i lose it to this guy that im so very attracted to (andrew) and he really wants to have sex with me, maybe that will save me from a bigger hearache. I kno that andrew and i won't end up being together as a couple, and im okay with that cuz thats just the way me and him are, we are just physical and thats it. my point is, im young and i know i wont find ''the one'' anytime soon. so i probly have a lot of heartaches ahead of me before i find the right guy. therefore i dont want to remember a certain guy as bein the one i lost it to cuz feelings and tears will come back. if i lose it to andrew, i wont be as upset. cuz only the first time is the most memorable and important so if i lost it to a future boyfriend, it would be harder to get over. does that make sense? idkk advice please? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, shna  +, writes (21 January 2009):
 this goes against everything i tlk about because i hate relationships an all that lovy dovy lalala shit but i lost my virginity drunk to a guy . . . . . in the woods (a drinking session spot ) and i didnu regret it but when i started having sex with in other relationships it was so much better but its never been emoitionally attached ??? realli i dont remember losing my virginity . . . . not because i was drunk i usually always remember my nights out but i dunoo its up to you if you want sex to have an emoitional effect on you dont do it .. . . . . if you just want physical action casue your horny go for the guy
plz dont take this has the worst advice ever . . . thats just how i wud put it to my girls if one of them was in your situation x x x
A
female
reader, Chata +, writes (21 January 2009):
 A lot of girls don't think about this, but sex is not just a physical thing. There is so much emotional stuff that you deal with before and after.
I recently lost my virginity to my boyfriend who I am completely in love with. To be honest, I cannot imagine going through that with someone that I didn't love. If I did it with someone that I didn't love, it would just be sex. There is nothing special about it.
No matter who your first time is with, it will always be memorable. You'll always feel that he has a part of you and you have a part of him, and so that non-emotional thing that you're going for is non-existant. You'll always feel something for him, whether you want to or not.
I would say to wait until you meet that special someone. It is so rewarding when there is love involved.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2009): I see what you're saying, but what you don't realize is that you will ALWAYS have a connection with your first. For the rest of your life, you'll think about that person in a different light. There's also a very good chance you WILL fall in love with this andrew if you do sleep with him. Would you be able to deal with that?Try to picture yourself ten years down the road. When you think back to your first time, what do you want to remember? Personally, I lost my virginity to my on and off (on at that point) boyfriend of a year. I wasn't truly in love with him at that point, but I had been, and we were very close still. It was a very positive experience for me, but I did get very attached and possessive of him afterwards. I still feel an attachment to him, and we are still friends and talk often.One thing I think you're missing is that, it doesn't really matter if you gave your virginity to him or not, once you do have sex with a boyfriend, breakups will get more devastating. It's just the way it is. Whatever you do, please don't lose your virginity just to 'get it over with'. Even though I wasn't in love with my boyfriend that I first had sex with, it was amazing because I wanted to be with HIM the first time, because I wanted to experience that with him. It was exciting and fun and emotional. I think if there are not strong emotions and trust involved it would have been scary and uncomfortable.
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A
female
reader, LaydeeOfSorrows  +, writes (21 January 2009):
 Losing your virginity to some you dont love, is worse than actually losing the person.
It's like giving a part of yourself to someone, you really dont care about....
If you wait for that special someone, it will be so worth it.
X
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