A
female
age
30-35,
*issindependant
writes:Hi another one form meMy boyfriend keeps suggesting sex. But as I am only 15 and it is against the law at the moment, I am scared of what people will think or if I get pregnant what would I do? I do want to but above are my worries. What shall I do as I don't want to let him down as his mates have done itReally stuckPlease if someone could help that would be great Reply to this Question
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female
reader, SusieElle +, writes (5 October 2008):
Who told you that his friends have all had sex? The boyfriend who wants it? The friends who are most likely lying? Even if they have all had sex, you are the person that matters the most. A sexual relationship is between two people and what their mates have done is of no consequence. If you catch a sexually transmitted disease, they won't care. If you get pregnant, they won't care. Look out for yourself! Wait until it is legal and then reassess your situation. If he cares for you he will wait. If he doesn't he isn't worth it. Hold your head high, have respect for yourself. When you are ready make sure you talk to a professional about contraception issues. Condoms if used correctly (teenagers lacking experience probably won't use them correctly!) are still not 100% effective. What if it splits, slips off? Two forms of contraception is best, e.g. pill and condoms just to make sure. But sti's and diseases can lead to permanent damage. Lots to think about. Two people sharing an intimate experience is just as fulfilling if not more so than sex and doesn't have to lead to sex. Take care!
A
female
reader, anon642 +, writes (5 October 2008):
 Hey,
It doesnt sound like your ready for sex.
However, now that you are talking about it with your boyfriend, it would be a good idea for you to go to your doctors and get yourself on some reliable birth control (probably the pill). And get some condoms.
Then you really need to chat to your boyfriend about this.
If he leaves you, he's not worth it.
If he respects your wishes of waiting, great!
You've already pointed out the fact its illegal for you, so just think about the rest.
All the best.
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A
female
reader, lil-chloe +, writes (1 October 2008):
 Hiaa. I'm 14 and due in December. I didn't intend to get pregnant. In fact now i wish i had waited. Being pregnant meant i had to do a lot of growing up. You've got your whole life ahead of you, don't waste it.
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A
male
reader, Neboraic +, writes (1 October 2008):
You dont want to let him down, how kind of you, being considerate of his feelings. Now its his turn to do the same for you. I dont expect him to be happy with the decision, but if he doesnt understand and accept the decision, then he is not a good boyfriend and not someone you want to risk having a baby with.
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A
female
reader, WiccanWonder +, writes (1 October 2008):
 Just say no, and dump him, he is a jerk and you are too good for him, he is trying to push you into it, and if you do get pregnant, he'll do a runner.
But if you do decide to do it, make sure you use a condom!
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A
female
reader, Suzanne02  +, writes (1 October 2008):
 It sounds like you are not ready for sex yet. This is probably not what you want to hear but I really don't think you are.
If your boyfriend loves you, he will understand this and he won't put any pressure on you. He might not be ready yet either, he just feels like he should because his friends say they have (and they might not even be telling the true about that).
My advice is that you should wait until you are 100% certain that you are ready. You'll know when you are because you won't have any worries about it at all.
I hope this helps and bit, and if you want to talk more about it, you can private mail me :-)
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (1 October 2008):
So lets say all his mates have hit their girlfriend. Does that mean you should take a punch?
If he was so desperate to be like his mates, he could have gone out with a slutty girl.
But he chose you. So he has to respect your boundaries and if you don't want to have sex before you are 16 then he will have to wait.
Don't risk ruining your life just to keep him happy.
A baby means a screaming painful childbirth, stretch marks and loose bladder for ever, droopy boobs from being stretched out with milk. It also means wasting your education and living at home because it'll be almost impossible to go to uni, travel, have a social life, get a boyfriend.
Do what you want, not what he wants.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (1 October 2008):
 The fact that you are questioning whether you actually want to take this step says to me that you're really nor ready for this. I'm not trying to be really annoying or anything by saying this, but if you're really worried about it, tell him no and he should respect this if he cares about you. If he doesn't accept this answer, you know what kind of guy he is and should leave him as he obviously doesn't respect you enough to accept your feelings.
If you do decide to have sex, make sure he wears a condom and if you really are worried about it, go on the pill by going to see you doctor and talking to them about it. You don't need to let your parents know, but if you feel that your parents would allow you to have sex, then maybe you should talk to them and tell them that you want to have sex.
If I were you though, with all these doubts, I wouldn't have sex with him just yet. You don't want to have sex and then find yourself sick with worry, do you?
Take care, hun. Think hard about this, won't you?
xx
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