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female
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anonymous
writes: If 2 people are having sex and enjoying it, what does it mean if the guy goes soft half way through??Does it mean he didnt like me? or wasnt enjoying himself?I'm filling my head with lots of rubbish and just need someone to tell me what it could mean.Thanks Reply to this Question
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female
reader, SeriouslyStephanie  +, writes (28 April 2009):
 It happens to the best of men, and it is nothing to worry about.
However, if you still feel insecure about it, or worried, and you feel comfortable with this man, just ask him about it but not in a way that is going to make him embarassed abnout it, as it is more than likely that he is going to be just as gutted about it as you, so just bring it up gently.
And don't think that him going soft means you can't continue, just go down on him or play with him for a bit - he'll be up for it again in no time (unless he's really embarassed then may not be able to get it going again), Either way, it is more than likely that it is nothing to do with you.
Have Fun (;
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reader, becky05 +, writes (17 July 2005):
Its just one of those things that happens to everyone from time to time. Please dont worry about it any more!
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2005): No, it's not that he doesn't like you or desire you. If anything..it could be he's anxious..maybe too much so-to please you. A major worry that many guys experience — performance anxiety. Many men worry about their ability to get and maintain that erection "when it counts."
Aside from anxieties, his body's response to sexual stimulation can be also influenced by lots of factors that are outside of his immediate control. Being overtired, feeling self-conscious or nervous, experiencing strong emotions, and getting distracted are just a few possible scenarios that might lead to temporary loss of an erection, even if he remains sexually aroused. If he's too tense, the erectile tissue can't relax enough to open up to the blood flow needed for erection. But, like getting an erection at an ill-timed moment, losing one in the heat of the moment during sex play is a common occurrence.
Another very influential factor affecting his sexual responses, which usually be within his control, is whether or not he is intoxicated during sex play — being drunk or high may make it difficult to stay hard.
When he loses an erection during sex play, don't sweat it. It doesn't make him any less of a man, and it certainly doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with him. Just take it in stride and keep being supportive of him. It may be a good idea if he speaks to his doctor about this for more reassurance and just to make sure all is working in good order. It doesn't hurt to have a check up.
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female
reader, angelina +, writes (16 July 2005):
It could mean a lot of things. Probably the LEAST likely thing it means is that he doesn't like you.
Most likely it mean he feels insecure in himself and has some performance anxiety.
It could mean he has some other fear, such as a fear of pregnancy.
It could mean something has been on his mind, maybe something stressful that happened to him, and he started thinking about it and lost the mood for sex.
It could mean he just simply wasn't in the mood that much. Maybe he was cold, tired, hungry, or had already "released" recently.
I think since you were already in the act, he obviously liked you enough to do that, and if he went soft, it probably has nothing to do you.
If you feel close enough to him that you know he won't be offended, you can simply ask him in a very gentle way why is happened, and he probably has a very simple explanation for it. For instance, "I saw something on the news today that really bothered me and I can't stop thinking about it."
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reader, D_Missy +, writes (16 July 2005):
No, it's nothing like that at all. It's normal for the penis to go soft. Just take the time to give it some extra attention and you'll be up and ready to go again in no time.
But you might also want to make sure he's relaxed. Sometimes men can lose erections if they're worried or upset about something.
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