A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:If you made a mistake and was found out for cheating, can it make a man go from finding you very sexually attractive, into not finding you attractive any more? Can men change just like that? How do you pull them back? Any one ever been through this? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2012): if you are lucky enough to pull him back (it doesnt sound like you will) then you may find he becomes someone you dont know anymore. He wont trust, respect or adore you. Cheating ruins relationships even when you decide to stay together. You can also find that he wouldnt care about cheating on you after this. He wont see you as his angel. Unfortunately, i was exactly in the same spot you are in now. He met someone else and left me 8 months after. I wish i could turn back time.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2012): I found out I was cheaten on 3 years after she did it. I couldnt touch her either. I saw her as filth. 6 months later I felt no different and just left. I dont know what is happening in your case but I think he's probably leaving you when he's over the shock.
...............................
A
male
reader, bronzed adonis +, writes (22 February 2012):
 There will be a lot going through his mind. I think the end is near to be honest.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2012): when i found out my ex had been setting up accounts on dating sites, i couldnt have sex with him again. the thought alone disgusted me. it sounds very much that your relationship is on its way out.
...............................
A
male
reader, eek +, writes (22 February 2012):
 yes when someone cheats on you the idea of being intimate with them becomes a lot less attractive.
...............................
A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (22 February 2012):
 Yes, if you cheat on a guy, he won't see your pretty face and body, he will just see your ugly heart. He will be disgusted by you and will push you away because in his mind he'll see you having sex with another man. It's not a man thing, women feel the same way when their men cheat and some have been known to be physically sick and vomit anytime the cheating man comes near them.If the cheater is you, first think, what would you feel like if he came back tomorrow and said he'd just had sex with your sister or your best girlfriend as revenge. Now would you be keen to go in the bedroom for a sex session with him?Can you pull him back? Really don't know, it all depends. How much does he love you, how much does he hate you, how often do you tell him your sorry, how much does he believe you, does he have a forgiving nature, do you have reasons that he could understand? I don't know, but then neither does he, if he still around, he probably loves you (or maybe he stays because of children or money) If he isn't back in the bedroom with you, it's not a good sign.But the fact that your here asking about sex matters rather than forgiveness or how to help heal his pain, indicates to me that you might not understand what you have done and the full gravity of what happens when people break your trust and cheat.If he's going to forgive, you need to think in terms of years, not weeks or months, and maybe for this guy it's never. People that cheat, give their partner's nightmares and even spoil their dreams... Sorry
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2012): The thing about infidelity... when people do it, do you not for even a second think there isn't going to be consequences?There's always consequences and they are NEVER good. Infidelity never does anything but cause pain. Sure, you might get your rocks off for a while, but eventually you will come to know that nothing in this life if free and you WILL pay the price.Maybe who you cheated on can, in time, forgive you and being to trust you again. But that isn't up to you. You gave up the right to decide if the relationship continues when you cheated... that was your choice. Your relationship or some easy sex.Once that choice is made it's up to the the betrayed party to make of you what they will. And he has.So you can try to get back in his good books, try to salvage a relationship you bear the brunt of the responsibility for the destruction of... and maybe it can work. But it's not your choice to make now and yet it will be YOUR place to make most of the effort.Ready for the consequences yet?Flynn 24
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2012): My ex partner believed i cheated on him which i never did,he still found me sexually attractive but couldnt trust me so ended it between us
...............................
A
female
reader, 1sunshine  +, writes (21 February 2012):
 I was cheated on last year by my boyfriend (at the time.) After he realized that he made a mistake? He tried to get back together with me. I wanted to forgive him and we went on 2 dates. It wasn't the same. My feelings had changed and he had become this "stranger-like" person to me. Needless to say, we couldn't make it work between us. If you aren't happy with someone and feel the need to cheat, just break up with them. Save the other person the wasted time and agony they go through when they find out.
...............................
A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (21 February 2012):
 cheating it would cause a lack of trust in the individual . without trust a relationship, it has no foundation to grow on. once trust is broken it is hard to gain back, and trust will take time to gain back if ever.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2012): Yep.
Betrayal of the trust of the relationship that is the foundation to a healthy, loving, stable couples union takes such a hit that it all begins to crumble and with it will go the desire as the soul hurt far outweighs the good times.
In fact without trust and having commiting an offense that reveals your poor integrity and character would also effect the love and attraction.
That in itself becomes questionable. Is someone who can cheat capable of truly loving another over themselves?
Hmmm.
...............................
A
male
reader, Dodds  +, writes (21 February 2012):
 Great Relationship (Perceived) + Bad Decisions (Cheating)=
Little/ No Sexual Attraction
It's a tough one, but is it really worth trying to get back together? Surely, something must have driven you to do this, and maybe wanting to get him back, is it a way of appeasing you're guilt? Whichever the case is, just give him space let him decide whether it's worth it or not
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2012): What he is feeling is disgust. I would be very surprised if he ever saw you as sexy again. After going through the same, i think he is going through the first stage of breaking away from you permanently.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (21 February 2012):
Yes. Instantly. When my ex girlfriend cheated on me, instantly I was just not attracted to her, and within a few moments I'd moved her out of my life.
As for getting him back, ultimately it's up to him whether he wants you. He might be confused at the moment, he'll certainly feel many different emotions that will ultimately decide on what happens. He might decide to give it another go, but in a year decide it's not working.
What you have to do now, is be honest with him, and yourself. Do you really want to be with him? If so, tell him that and tell him that you'll do whatever it takes to fix this. And mean it.
Then, you have to wait for him and give him time to get over what's happened. Eventually, he'll make his decision.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2012): I can only speak from my experience......I found the 2 partners that cheated on me repulsive, soiled goods,sloppy seconds,whatever. The thought of them near me afterwards made me want to puke violently.I never forgave them,it was over.
It also put me off men in general for ages, but luckily that didn't last.
It will take alot to pull your man back,you've betrayed him so he may never want you again.If he does its going to take a long long time to rebuild trust, to put it behind you.You can only wait and see
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 February 2012):
 I would imagine that losing the faith and trust in the one person you loved and cherished would put you off on wanting to be intimate with them.
I don't think it's men or women but rather PEOPLE... I mean you betrayed his trust.
How do you pull them back?
well first of all they will have to want you back.
then maybe if you never utter another lie or look at another person, or flirt or cheat... just maybe one day years from now they might forgive you.... is it worth it?
I never could forgive or trust my ex after he cheated.... and he cheated emotionally... he lied to me... it wasn't even physical... but it destroyed my trust and our relationship...
...............................
|
