A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:If a man misses his family and wants to come home, why would he stay with his affair partner? He doesn't get along with her, she's mean to his kids and he misses his family? Whats stopping him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (15 October 2010):
 Nothing is stopping him.
When people don't do what they say they want to do- generally the only reason is because they don't REALLY want to do it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2010): Don't make hasty conclusions.
This happened with one of my best friends.
His wife was having an affair, wanted to come home and stay at home and see the kids "like a family", but didn't want to give up the affair partner either. She wanted it both ways.
Well, he wasn't willing, but I've read about people who have this type of arrangement (and actually have two social acquaintances who do have this arrangement, they have lots of money which helps them do this in an "relatively amicable manner" although I'd say they aren't truly "happy" about it all).
There are a lot of reasons for this type of behavior, and none of them fit any one situation. In my friends case they found out that his wife had a mental illness, and was a lot worse off than anyone suspected, certainly worse than any of us expected and even her physician wasn't aware of the severity of issues.
Needless to say, sometimes it is just safer if they don't come home. If they do, make sure you know everything you need to know and have professional help. My friend was ruined financially as his wife's illness spun out of control.
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A
male
reader, Ricemonster  +, writes (15 October 2010):
 I disagree with CaringGuy, though his opinion is definitely sound.
If a man misses his family and wants to go home, but continues to stay with the mistress, it could ALSO mean he enjoys the warmth and unity of the family, but he cannot let go of the mistress on the side which fulfills the other aspects of his life. You have to remember, it is only in today's modern common society that polygamy is frowned upon. In fact, I've had an ancestor during the Qing Dynasty within the last hundred and fifty-ish years take on two wives: the primary and the concubine. According to stories passed down, the primary wife had authority and was the first lover, while the concubine is considered the 2nd lover. It is only through sheer will that individuals uphold the monogamist 'rules' of today's common society, especially while more and more communities around the world give women equal rights to men.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (14 October 2010):
Because he's a lying sack of crap who is trying to play everyone. That's why. He's talking total crap. He can leave any time he likes. He's choosing not to. Don't believe a word a man like this says. It's rubbish.
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