A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:If a girl is slow to reply to your messages, does this mean she isn't interested? I went out with a girl this week and we seemed to have a really nice night together. It started timidly, but then we relaxed and enjoyed our evening. It even ended with a goodnight kiss. I couldn't have asked for more than that on a first date, I took it as a good sign and was delighted.Since then, we've exchanged messages, but she always seems to take a lot longer to reply than I do. I know I have to allow for her being busy, she works, she has other things going on and I completely accept that. My point is that it doesn't take a lot of time or effort just to send a response. I had hoped to ask her out again after exchanging a few pleasantries, but I haven't had the chance because the messages are so few and far between.I know we've only been out once, so please don't consider me desperate or clingy for asking this, I'm just curious. I need to know if this is a bad sign or whether I'm just making a fuss over nothing. What do you think and what do you think I should do? Should I call her and ask her for a second date, and if so, when? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, hannah76 +, writes (8 October 2011):
 Hello,
Yes, the only way you will find out is if you call her. Try the call on Sunday and see what happens. If you get the voicemail or she doesn't answer then that is because she knows who is calling and doesn't want to talk. It's worth a call. But only the one call. If no answer or any comeback then move on.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI guess the only definitive way to know for sure is to call her, so that's exactly what I'll do. I replied to a message from her yesterday but heard nothing back, so I figured I'd forget about it today and give her a call tomorrow evening. It'll be Sunday night, so chances are she'll be free to talk. Plus, I'm working today and going for a night out with the guys tonight.
I'll let you know what happens, but any advice between now and then would be welcome! Thank you all for your help so far!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (7 October 2011):
 she may not be getting the messages
she may hate texting
she may have an older phone that is harder to text with.
not everyone likes texting...
how about you pick up the phone and make a phone call.....
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A
female
reader, Angelx312 +, writes (7 October 2011):
 This is a question so many people (including myself) ask after a date, from my experiences is if she isn't responding much it's likely she isn't into you as much as your into her. However in saying that, instead of playing the "wait" game, ring her and ask her out for another date. If she doesn't answer leave a voicemail and wait for her reply, if she doesn't get back to you within a week then you know she isn't interested.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2011): wait a few more days, ask her out and see if she says yes. it seems pretty positive, but you will know for sure if she agrees to go on a second date. Not everyone is glued to their phone you know, she may just not check it very often.
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A
male
reader, Advice_man +, writes (7 October 2011):
 From my experience, I believe that your instict is right! A girl who is interested, makes sure you know and makes sure she gives you a green light. A slow response means she has other more important things to do or she is trying to give you the message not to get the wrong idea, politely. It's simple. Wouldn't you look forward to have a little text-chat with the girl you like?
Now, after going out on a few dates and she starts to like you, yes she might start playing little games with you to make things more interesting, which it's ok. But no girl who is truly interested would play these kind of games after the first date and take the chance to scare you away. Hope i helped. Please let us know what happened if you ask her out. Best wishes!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2011): It could be many things. Maybe she doesn't have that many texting minutes. Or maybe texting at work is forbidden, so she has to find time to sneak away. Some people just aren't really into texting that much, too.
I would say yes, call and ask for a date. Everyone is different when it comes to messaging. But a phone call gives you all the nice hints like tone of voice that you don't get from text. :)
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A
female
reader, KittieS +, writes (7 October 2011):
 I'm attached to my phone my OH isn't, even on the first throes of our relationship he would take ages to reply :) yet I've dated other guys who text seconds after (they turned out to not be good guys!)So suggest you call her, tell her you had a great time and would like to see her again. In case she doesn't answer have a pre-scripted voicemail (that's sounds relaxed but interested)If she doesn't call back then I'm sorry time to move on, if she does enjoy a fabulous second date! Maybe she is just a little shy, not so into texting and doesn't want to call you first! Girls have it in their heads not to call or they may seem desperate!Call her x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2011): She's maybe just busy,playing it cool even,who knows. Best plan for you is to phone her, ask her out......she can either say yes or no.. but give her a bit of notice though,at least a few days, don't expect her to be free that night
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A
female
reader, Kirstyteenauntireland  +, writes (7 October 2011):
 I,m pretty sure shes interested most girls are like that thats their way of playing hard to get don't worry just ask her out for a second date :)
Good Luck!
X
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A
male
reader, lforde04 +, writes (7 October 2011):
I think it's always overly easy to worry about these things, especially whe you like someone and are trying to analyze every little facet of their behavior to discern whether they like you (or not). I know I'm not very good at it, but I suppose one should aim to not worry and take things as they come!
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