A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:The first few weeks of university have been a true whirlwind experience and yesterday, I went out with a girl who I really like. We had a few drinks and then headed back to her appartment where after a drink she told me that she "didn't want to sleep with me because she liked me as a friend" - don't get the impression that I was angling for sex in any way at all, honestly speaking I like to get to know partners better.my worry is/was that I'd already been regulated to the friend zone, quite a disappointment when this is a person I'm eventually planning on asking out! We eventually made our way to her room where, after some cuddling, kissing and snuggling together we went to bed with each other (we didn't have sex), cuddled and spoke for quite a while. She told me a lot about herself, most noteably the facts that she didn't think anyone wanted her and that she hoped she'd find someone to look after her.Where do I stand, what should I do? Thanks
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (8 October 2011):
 Don't ignore what she said, she simply stated no sex because she likes you as a friend. Kissing is the only thing that steers it away from friends..Cuddling and telling you her inner most secrets says friendship. You're heading towards the friends zone...I would say you're standing in the doorway.
What you need to do is hang out with her when she's sober, and tell her that you want to be with her. It's when you linger around her, not speaking your true feelings, is when you get categorized into the friend zone.
Take a chance. The worst she could do is repeatedly tell you she likes you as a friend.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2011): "I don't want to sleep with you because I like you as a friend" can mean two things. Neither of which are good.
1. She is Friend-Zoning you already.
2. She would sleep with you right now if you were more of a bad boy type, but you are treating her too respectfully. She is punishing you for having that respect by making you wait a lot longer for sex than if you treated her worse. And she will be less sexually excited about you as a whole.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2011): Its hard to say after one date. I would be her friend get to know her and let her get to know you. Could be she's feeling a bit homesick at the moment and when she's settled may be more open to a relationship.
If anything develops eventually then fine, if not, well at least you've tried.
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A
female
reader, Kirstyteenauntireland  +, writes (7 October 2011):
 Personally I think you should ask her out. You want to ask her out, from what you say it seems she wants a relationship with someone also so ask her out whats the worst that can happen?
Good Luck :)
X
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