A
male
age
30-35,
*oetaer
writes:I feel like I have a great life, but there's something that is missing min my l I have been struggling to find a girlfriend for the past 4 years and it feels like I'm being hunted down. I know for a fact that I am not such an unattractive guy or anything, but I just have a feeling that it is about my disability that is bothering them. I am suffering from a condition called "Spastic Diplegia and it is a form of "Cerebral Palsy." I mean, I am not a moronic incompetent guy. My mind is clear and my condition doesn't effect my mind, I just walk with a limp. I've had some dates with few girls, but it didn't really turn to my favor, unfortunately. I assume most girls wish to have a prince-charming man. To have a girlfriend is the only most thing I'd love t have. I recently gotten to know a girl from tagged and we've been known each other since June this year. She knows almost everything about me, including my condition. I know almost about her, but we haven't met yet, because she lives in another country, which is in Bosnia. We've been sending letter to each other, but we still are communicating on facebook, msn and on skype. We talk to each other almost every single day and I just have a feeling that she's interested in me and so am I. We are planing to meet each other next year in summertime. But what I am worrying about is, what if she change her mind and just slowly stop talking to me, like afterwards. Straightforwardly, if it does happen, I think it would be because of my condition and that is what disturbs me a lot! I've gotten to the point where I just wanted to delete myself in this world, which would probably be unnecessary, but that is how I feel. If it does turn to my favor and we end up going out, what would be the positive of this situation and what would be the negative of this situation?
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female
reader, natmarie +, writes (28 August 2010):
 Great for your follow up. Don't; just be patient - GET ACTIVE and start looking .. HARD!! Love Natmarie xx
A
male
reader, Soetaer +, writes (27 August 2010):
Soetaer is verified as being by the original poster of the question I want to tank you all for your considerations. Every one of you really made me happier and really tried to really mindfully know that I would be able to find the right girl for me, even though it may is all about being patient.
So I really appreciate it guys!! Thank you!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2010): Hey, why not join a dating site? that is the fastest way to meet someone, and the easiest way,and you can also mention this before meeting if you fel the need to.Also try these webiste - http://www.disabledpassions.com/, http://www.cupidcalls.co.uk/, http://www.disabilitydatingclub.com/I really hope to god you are not offended by me sending these sites to you - I just thought it might be worth taking a look. :o) Natx Good Luck xx
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A
female
reader, Jesc  +, writes (27 August 2010):
 I have to a agree with the other posters.Everyone made valid points. From what you have said, these girls who didn't give you the time to really get to know you. From what I have read I can tell you are a great guy. You just got to remember that. Your disability is nothing more than an excuse for these...things. Do not let that get in the way. Ever one in this world has some sort of problem. When I was in high school,I moved to a new town and there was a girl no one even got near avoided her to the ends of earth. I really did not understand why. When I looked at her I saw that she was really pretty, She seemed to have a welcoming face. I went and sat down with her at lunch. I asked her what her name was and all. After much talking I finally asked why is everyone avoiding you? She told me it was cause she had a form of down syndrome. I was shocked I thought she was lying to me. When she started to point things out was when I noticed. I didn't care tho. She is an amazing person. After one more year she found a"hunk" of a guy. He was attractive,played in football. Had everything going for him. Well after 4 years they got married. Her and I are still great friends.The point is, There are mean and shallow people out there. You are just so happening to come across them the most. I am sorry. But sweetheart, Do NOT let these people make you feel unworthy in any way. I am not one for LDR so I can not give you an opinion. I am sorry but that is best for someone else to give you.All I know is you WILL find a beautiful young women who will see you for you.
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (27 August 2010):
 Hey you're young, you know, and having a girlfriend isn't all it's cracked up to be anyway :)
If your mind is in good shape (and I'm assuming from how you've written the question that it's in fine fettle) and the only apparent problem is a slight limp, I don't think that's what's keeping women away. Maybe you've met the wrong types?
A lot of good men are (unfortunately) single. It will happen when the time is right - maybe with the Bosnian girl, maybe with someone else.
Nothing to lose sleep over.
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (27 August 2010):
 Your leg is doing you a favour by scaring off the girls that you don't want any way. Any girl that would be put off by that would be not worth having.
My Dad had Polio from the time he was a baby, walked with leg irons as a boy and then later always with a severe limp as one leg was several inches shorter than the other and didn't have much muscle.
He married a beautiful girl, had 4 children and became chairman of a good company. He never played cricket for England but he achieved everything else he ever wanted. He never complained or let it stop him from doing anything even though we could see it was causing him pain. I always knew that many people admired him but after his funeral I heard from several ladies (in their 70s and therefore old enough to be able to get away with saying wholly inappropriate things!) that they had always rather fancied him specifically because they thought he was so brave about his leg.
Don't let your leg become an excuse for anything. I may be misreading your post but it seems to me as if part of you views yourself as damaged goods on account of your leg. As long as you believe that you are going to find it difficult to find a good girl.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (27 August 2010):
 Your post made me want to tear up. I don't know what it's like to have a disability but I do know disabled people who walk with leg braces that have girlfriends with no disability. So this world isn't that shallow, I'm sorry that you're running into that. Not having a girlfriend isn't the end of the world..I have a friend who just 24 that's only had 2 girlfriends, the rest of the girls he likes fall into the friend zone. Even guys who don't have a disability aren't having any luck either. I suppose I just don't really look at disabilities, to me you're still a normal person...and there's more people like me out there. Don't delete yourself from this world because it still has things to other you.. Let's look at the positive you're a fetching young man, you're still normal regardless of your disability, and it doesn't hinder you from doing everything, plus your British! Who doesn't love a guy with a British accent? Now, if you do go out with this girl the positives being: you guys go out and she does like you for who you are..this is the girlfriend you've been wanting. The negative being she lives in another country..then you would have to decide could you handle an international long distance relationship. You've got some pros and cons to weigh with this one. On a side, note if she were to change her mind and stop talking to you it would mostly likely be because she met someone else. Even if it doesn't work in your favor do remember there are girls in the world who will look past your disability and see the real you!!
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