A
female
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anonymous
writes:Back in the summer my ex dumped me and started seeing another girl. I was so in love with him it really hurt and for months I hated them both. Deep down I know it wasn't the girl's fault, he didn't dump me for her, she was unaware of what he done to me. But I still hated her and gave her nasty looks when I saw her. Then one night I saw my ex out in town. We were drunk and ended up going back to his and having sex. The next day I told his girlfriend. I think I told her to piss him off, not to hurt her, but at the time I didn't care. Obviously she dumped him and he also gave me a hard time and hasn't spoken to me since (this was back in November). Only now, a few months on, I'm over my ex but I look back and I feel awful for what I said to his ex-gf. I know what I done was spiteful and bitchy but at the time I was in pieces over how he had treated me. I just wanted to hurt him. I didnt think, or care, about how the girl would feel. A lot of people in my town have turned against me too, knowing what I did and now call me a shit-stirrer. How can I make people see that I'm not usually a nasty bitch, but I loved my ex so much that I just wanted to hurt him like he did me? I've promised myself that I will never do something like that again, no matter how hurt I am, but I don't like people thinking horrible things of me. Also, the girl was really nice. She didn't deserve it at all. I wish I could say something now but I dont know what. And I know she doesn't like me as I've seen her whispering to her friends when I'm in the same bar as her. What can I do?
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female
reader, Stayc63088  +, writes (12 January 2009):
 Just tell her what you told us, you were not meaning to hurt her, you were just jealous and in love and made a mistake. She should understand. Actually she may even thank you (not outloud or necessarily anytime soon) for letting her see what a cheating asshole this guy was. You saved her from wasting more time in a way. The only thing you can do is apologize. I'm sure she will get over it if you are honest. And I don't understand why people are saying crap behind your back. Like the first poster said it takes more than one person to have sex. And afterall, he is the one who cheated. I would assume he would be the one hearing shit about it. But whatever. Ignore those people too because it really is none of their business anyway. Good luck with the apology.
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female
reader, MuffinGirl  +, writes (12 January 2009):
 You should know that it wasn't just your fault at all. It takes 2 people for having sex. What he did wasn't right, he took advantage of you because he probably still had some kind of feelings for you that time.
You can't convince other people that what you've done was just the moment of weakness, but you can apologize that girl for what you did. Tell her what you told us, tell her that you're sorry about it and you want go back and change your past if you could. Be honest and kind to her.
Just a little tip.. go out and find somebody new. You don't seem to be a bad person for me, because you know that what you did was wrong. But what he did was even worse and on some way you've done the right thing when you told his ex about sex, but you probably told her on bad way.
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