A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:After spending much time together this weekend, my bf went off to a big Easter gathering with his family, and some non-family members. I never got an invitation, and it felt like a knife to the heart. It hasn't been the Easter I hoped for! My family is elsewhere in the country, and I couldn't join them. Can I be blamed for being a little upset as he left to go? I made only a small outcry, but they say you shouldn't. But it was painful to me. He says it's just a dinner and maybe next time. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2007): This is the original writer of the question. Thank you all for your answers, which really cheer me up!!! Sometimes I think his family is, like, hermetically sealed!
Even the non-family members are regulars...
He would have to do the inviting because I think they (parents) are unsure of our status,
and don't realize how extremely close we are! That's why it hurts...
A
female
reader, maryann61181 +, writes (9 April 2007):
 I know that my family is very difficult and very judging when it comes to the people in my life. Your boyfriend may not know exactly how to approach the situation. If his family is traditional/religious, they might think that it is inappropriate to bring a girlfriend to a family function. Some families do this and are not as open as other families are. His family might be thinking that you're not quite part of the family yet. I know that this is difficult for many people to accept, but this is how my family is as well.
The problem with my family is that, my boyfriend is everything opposite of what I am or what they want me to be with. My father doesn't want to meet him, let alone have anything to do with because he feels as though he is not good enough for me. Every parent thinks this when it comes to their child, so if this happens to be the case, don't take that personal. I have a difficult time being accepted by his family as well. I have fought for my boyfriend over and over and my father - only my father chooses to not be a part of our life and that makes things quite difficult. This is not your boyfriends fault, this is his family. Don't get too upset with him unitl you understand the circumstances.
I suggest this...Speak to your boyfriend and ask him if this is the case. If so, and you been together for sometime ask him to invite you to a BBQ so you can meet his family. If this doesn't happen he needs to make an attempt to stand up for you and convince his family of how much he loves you. If he has done this and you have been witness to it and this still does not work, there's not much you or he can do. However, this may not be the case for you - this may only be the case for me. Or, maybe he just didn't know any better and thought that you might feel uncomfortable. You can't know for sure until you speak to him.
...............................
A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (9 April 2007):
 How long have you both been together? Have you met the family before? Do they know you at all? If you have been together for say more than 6 months then by rights, your boyfriend should have said he was bringing you along period! After all you are both an item. It was very insensitive of his family not to include you and he should have spoke out there.
Eve
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2007): I also dont know how long you guys have been together but that said..
..You have every right in the world to be upset! That was just plain rude of your bf. If he was any kind of man, he would have realized that you would be sitting at home all by yourself on Easter..while he went and ate? Did he even wonder how and what you were going to eat tonite? Did he care? If you ask me; I would say not really! Did he at least say he would bring you some food home? :)
I say he is a jerk!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2007): Gosh, I'm wondering why your boyfriend didn't just let his family know that he would be bringing you since it sounds like it was a gathering that was more than just family. Perhaps there is someone difficult in his family who is not as generous as one would hope. I think you should have a talk with him about how this made you feel and find out what the deal is if you can. I don't know how long you you have been going out, but perhaps, if you haven't met his family before, he thought that a large gathering would be awkward. If you have been together for a long time and know his family and there are not problems, then I would really need to understand why this happened.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2007): no i understand ur concern hunni, id tell him when he comes bk that ur upset and felt left out!
sorry and i hope u have a nice easter!
...............................
|
