A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:HiI was sick for the past 1 week, so i couldnt pick up my bf's call and didnt inform him also. Before that we had a fight since he insulted me in front of his friends.Yesterday i got well and returned his call (he called me thrice in this one week and no mesgs). He is saying thet he moved on and wants to break up with me. Says that he thought i broke up with me and he was happy i did that.I am hurt, confused and sick. I told him 'Sorry' million times yesterday and msged him and called him . But he is hurting me everytime i call him. Please help me.
View related questions:
broke up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (3 October 2011):
 if he cared and didn't hear from you in a week, I'd think he'd grow concerned. if he cared and thought you were breaking up, then he would have come over. he's an A-hole looking for an easy way out.
A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (2 October 2011):
 No one should be insulting their significant others in front of friends, family, or the public. It's completely disrespectful and causes embarrassment for the person in question. The fact that he did this ought to be a red flag. Does he disrespect you like this normally?I take it since that incident occurred,you were angry and planned on giving him the silent treatment while you were sick. He saw your silence as a sign of a break-up because he WANTED to break up. It was a blessing in disguise for him. Sometimes men will do all sorts of messed up things to try to get their gf's to dump them, so they don't have the burden of initiating that awkward rejection. The reason why he is not accepting your apologies; the reason why he is happy this relationship ended is because he WANTS it to be over. I mean he even told you, he is happy you broke up with him. You can't convince anyone to be with you. They either want you, or they don't. In either case, why would you want someone that doesn't want you? Move on and don't humiliate yourself any longer. Begging is very unattractive and does you no favors.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2011): Why can't you pick up the phone when your sick? How did you call into work? Your boyfriend is probably saying he's tired of your extremes and the games.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2011): Adults don't play games like this...well, most don't anyway. You wouldn't happen to have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, hmmm?He insulted you in front of friends. What was so terrible that it made you sick for a week?!Since you're sick again, it is pretty obvious that you expected him to play along and wait for you to 'get better' on your own time...the nerve he has to not play by your rules!The only thing to do now is to stop calling him. You can't hold your head high if you are constantly calling him and letting him 'hurt' you more over the phone.Sometimes, we have to call things what they are: a tie. Both of you are selfish and insensitive. A relationship between two selfish and insensitive people will never last long. You two simply aren't meant to be.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (2 October 2011):
 How came ?- how sick you were ? Were you in ICU, in a coma ? ... I mean, were you really so sick that you could not have possibly sent him a text or a short e-mail saying " Very sick, talk to you ASAP " ? Could you not have told your mom/ friend / neighbour / hospital staff please call my bf and advise him I am sick and I'll contact him later on ?... Pardon me but this sounds very strange to me, this summer I had oral surgery- far from home- after which I REALLY could not speak for 48 hours, yet the clinic contacted my family to tell them that I was alive and well .
I suspect ( and he does too , apparently ) that the sickness is only part of the story and you were basically pouting after the fight. Which did not leave him the chance to clear the air / make up, and now he is angry.
Understandable.
I think this may be just a lover's tiff and, if you have apologized already, just wait some more till he cools down. Maybe you can e-mail him explaining him what happened , and how the misunderstanding was generated, but tbh , unless you really were between life and death, I would not insist on the sickness part because, well, it does not quite fly .
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2011): Something tells me you were playing games by not telling him you were sick. Perhaps to see how many messages he left or to count the number of times he called you? Seems like your game has backfired. Unless you are in a coma or have had an accident, there is no reason not to send your partner a message informing him that you are unwell. At the very least, get a friend or family member to call on your behalf. If I were him, I would have moved on too. There is no way I would take this kind of disrespectful behaviour from my partner. By not telling him you were ill, you were actually indicating (to him) that isn't worth the time of day in your life. Have some dignity and stop calling the man and move on. Learn from this mistake and don't play silly games or test people, it will come back to bite you in your arse.
...............................
|
