A
female
age
30-35,
*rashel
writes: Alright, well my boyfriend and I have been together for a while now and last week we had a pregnancy scare, I'm not but for some reason we were both kind of disapointed when my period came. Even though we should have been over joyed. I mean if I was pregnant we could raise a child no doubt, he has an amazing job and I've practically raised my siblings, anyway he and I were talking and we decided if we did get pregnant we would be okay. Just posted this for conversation, wonderin what people might think about this whole situation
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2010): I understand how you feel and in my opinion is normal I myself had a scare last month I'm not looking to have a baby right now But while I was thinking I could be expecting and the calm reaction my boyfriend had when I told him my fear made me kind of start thinking we could make it made me start mentally preparing for a child So when my period did come I felt a little sad both me and my boyfriend That's just what your going through that little moment of disappointment but don't worry it will pass and soon you will start thinking clearly again Good Luck!!
A
female
reader, visione +, writes (29 January 2010):
Do you have a place to settle down? Do you have reliable transportation? You are still so young and you have a LOT to experience in life. I just don't want you to be one of those people who have one early in life, only to realize they missed out on a lot, and then regret it.
Once you have a child you will be tied down and very busy until they are old enough to attend school - think about your child's future. Everyone wants the best for their children - they want them to associate with good kids, get good grades, go to college, and become successful in life. You would want this for your child too, right? Think about your current situation and what kind of environment your child grows up in, will s/he be provided for enough? Will s/he have access to a good school and be financially secure? Will you guys have to move alot while they are in school? Etc.. there comes a LOT of responsibility for someone's life. I know the idea of having a baby is very exciting and happy, but take some time and think down the line about his or her life and whether or not you can honestly prepare for it.
I'm not going to comment on how you will go about your life, because I trust you have a good idea of what you want to do and what your dreams and goals are. Just realize that all of that has to be put on hold with the responsibility of a child.
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (29 January 2010):
Thanks for answering krashel,
You know what, I think you'd do alright if you got pregnant. But who wants to give their kid alright, most mothers want to give their kids the world. It's easier if you wait and have more money in the bank and more experience and maturity behind you. I've known few women who regret having children, but many, many women wish they had waited until they were older and more financially secure.
It's your life, and your a clever girl. You'll deal with what life gives you, but why settle for giving your baby cheap bread when if you wait you could feed it the best cake. Good luck in whatever you do honeypie.. :)
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female
reader, krashel +, writes (29 January 2010):
krashel is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhen we first thought that I may be pregnant we looked at a school that requires one hour a week and I could get all my credits faster, and when I turn 16 in june I could get a job. If we had finacial issues there are programs to help. I'm not planning on having a baby but if it did happen I think we could make it alright.
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (28 January 2010):
lol... $37 an hour, not bad for a 17year old...
Right, now we got to break that down.. He's working, you are under age and can't work. So he has to split that $37 with you. Now he's down to just over $15 an hour.... then the baby... get yourself one of them shopping catelogues, babies are very expensive and they need tons of stuff..
Nappies, mmmmm tons of these, not sure but they seem to go through tons.. Baby bed, baby clothes, washing powder, washing machine.. babies get sick and always seem to need washing.. then we got to get a pension fund for you and your boyfriend... Everyone needs to save for their pension right. Then add on health care and insurance for you, baby and him (I see your in the USA) I think you need to pay to have that baby, so antenatal care, stay in hospital, delivery costs. Education fund, you want your kid to go college right, and in the USA again I think you have to pay. Then there's your normal living costs, maternity clothes for you, food, rent.. blah, blah, blah.
Before you think about babies, I want you to draw up a reasonable budget for the first year of your child's life. Then start saving, when you get the right amount of money the baby, you and your boyfriend will need then you will be in a better situation to start thinking about this.
mmmm.. construction.. there is a recession on, many people are loosing their jobs, and construction is particularly vulnerable because there's little money to buy stuff. When you've worked out your budget for the baby with your boyfriends current construction job, then work it out again but this time factor in what happens if he becomes unemployed.
15years old, minimal education, no job, young baby... that's a lot for any guy to have to put up with. It's hard enough with children when your older and have your own house, a job and money in the bank, but it'll be very stressful when there is only him working and you and your baby spending.
Get back to us, tell us how far you think his money will stretch and how much this kid will cost him?
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female
reader, krashel +, writes (28 January 2010):
krashel is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for the feed back. I love seeing everyones opinion. My bf and I plan to keep using protection but if something happens we would be pretty happy.
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female
reader, TeRah_01 +, writes (28 January 2010):
i promise you that it wont be as easy as you think. your siblings are not yours. when there was a real problem you could run to your parents and make them handle it. when you have a baby its yours for at least 18 years. everything will be up to you. and for a 15 yr old. life hasnt even started. you probably just started high school. you still have three years left. it will be so hard going down those hallways with a big ol' belly and everyone knowing you as the pregnant girl. and then after you have the baby, you will be up all night and when you finally do get to sleep it will be time to go to school. who will watch it then? you will have to pay someone to watch your baby like a day care and how can you work to pay for that while you go to school and watch your baby?
you have to buy diapers,formula,bottles,clothes,wipes,food(when they get to the age to eat it) juice, and not to mention if you want your baby to be the healthiest that it can be all the "baby water" in gallons and all the organic stuff that wont harm your baby in any way. and where are you ging to live with this boyfriend and baby? yes you may want one. we all do but no one is ever truly ready to have a baby no matter how much they plan or want it.
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reader, lizeth +, writes (28 January 2010):
hey there? im 18 years old, i had my baby when i was 14 i used to think like u, my husband has a wonderful job and my baby has all she needs, Something i can tell you is that having a baby isnt easy, its relly hard specially when you are both young. Now that im older and see things different i wish i would of waited. Once you have a baby you cant go back. And i mean why would you bring a baby to life if you cant even deal with you self. Trust me honey is really hard. I just want to tell you use protection cuz your life will chane forever if you become pregnant, is just and advice i give you.
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reader, krashel +, writes (28 January 2010):
krashel is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe is 17 he works construction and make $37/hour
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (28 January 2010):
How old is your boyfriend, and how much dose he earn in this "amazing job" that he has?
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (28 January 2010):
Wait for a long time. People all like to think they're ready. Then when it happens it is a huge shock. At your ages, you both need to live life and make sure your futures are well set before you can have children. That last thing you want is to have a child then find out it's all going wrong. Wait for a while, live life and see where it takes you.
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