A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Today I went out in the car with one of my friends who passed her driving test about a month ago. Only 1 of the other passengers could drive as well.Basically she was driving way too fast. Dangerously fast. The two of us in the back felt uncomfortable and not really safe. She wasn't too bad around built up areas but otherwise too fast. She kept on saying that she's had a lot of near misses since passing and that she always drives like this. I was quite concerned.I mentioned this to another friend and he asked if I'd told her? So I did. I told her she drove too fast and that I didn't want her to crash. She reacted badly saying she didn't want to know. I know that I had no right coz I can't drive myself but I was worried. It's in her character and she's not going to change the way she drives but I thought I should say something.Now I feel in the wrong. She's in a real mood with me and I feel really bad. I feel bad for warning her but I guess it needed to be said. There wasn't any point though coz I know she won't listen, and I guess it's worse that I haven't actually passed my test yet.So was I in the wrong? Was I right to warn her? I tried to be sensitive but it didn't work. What should I do or say?Thank you. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2010): You did the right thing; I'm not surprised she is touchy, people don't like ot have their driving criticised ever, even if they are in the wrong. I suggest you try and make alternative travel arrangements if you can, and your friend as well. If she won't listen then as you said, it won't make any difference whether you said anything or not. But you were right to do it nevertheless, so don't feel bad.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (28 January 2010):
People get touchy about their driving.
Try and suggest taxis / buses when ever possible and just keep at it.
At some point she will not have a near miss and it's always the passengers that get hurt, the driver is the safest one in the car.
Try not to be in her car because she can and will kill you.
As a journalist married to a paramedic please please believe me.
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A
female
reader, Share Bear +, writes (28 January 2010):
Aww, I think you absolutely did the right thing. Imagine if (when??) she crashes- especially if someone is hurt, how much better will you feel that at least you tried to warn her. -So don't take those words of cautions back!
It takes a while to learn to drive without your instructor guiding and warning you, and if anything, she'd be wise to be a little overly cautious for the first little while.
If you are still concerned about it, I'd advise you to steer clear of accepting rides with her. You'll kick yourself if something happens, after all!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (28 January 2010):
No, you were right to say something. If she was going too fast, she could have killed someone. If she doesn't listen, she still might. There isn't anything else you can do. If she's looking for an apology, don't give her one. All you have to say is that you don't want her to get hurt. And if she's still moody, that's her problem.
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