A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, i need some impartial advice about my situation. I'll start with some background info to help explain. I'm 28yrs old, Gay and a teacher at one of the country's most prestigious boy's school's. I got the job partly because i have some fantastic reference's and partly because the headmaster is a fossil and was pressured into hiring along more PC lines, i being a lesbian was perfect for the job! I have always lead a very middle class English life and although there is nothing really wrong with this, it is now a problem... I decided to start kickboxing at a local gym, i progressed slowly and was encouraged to improve my overall fitness (I'm 5'8,61kg so not overweight just unfit!) i started working with a personal instructor and we got on really well so arranged sessions on weekends etc to fit around my marking and school commitment's i was also using her apartment to get work done as she was rarely in on an evening, we were good friends at this point a flirted all the time,i was always a little shocked when she started the flirting as she is way out of my league, incredibly beautiful with a stunning hour glass figure and the most entrancing brown eyes and an engaging personality to top it off. I'd heard some rumours (mainly from the male gym goers) about my PT in the gym about her being a lesbian and also about her other job, which i eventually found out was a lap dancer in a very high end bar in town. I was really unsure how to behave around her and became very shy, i was so worried what my friends would think and how it would affect my standing at school. My behaviour was appalling and hugely embarrassing and unsurprisingly she swapped me onto another PTs list. I still see her at the gym and around town, she smiles and is polite but always wary especially when i'm with a friend or colleague, I guess my question is will it ever get back to the way it was before? i loved it when we flirted it was invigorating and dangerous but i never felt under pressure around her, and i knew she'd have given me everything if id have asked. Im so cross i let myself behave in such a childish and petty manner and subsequently hurt such a kind and beautiful woman. Sorry this is so long and not always clear. x
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female
reader, Cyg79  +, writes (27 August 2007):
 The lovely thing in life is that you can always try. Its up to you if you want to put forth the effort to mend the friendship. I guess one question would be, are you ok with her jobs? If you can't accept her jobs and if you worry how it may rub off on you, then i would say let the friendship go. however if you can accept her for her, then i think you do what you can to be her friend.
A
male
reader, somewhat_anonymous +, writes (25 August 2007):
In time it might become where it was before, but you have to put the time in to prove it and hopefully erase the memories in her mind you just created.
However, you are right to worry about your standing at work since it is a school setting. In the states, no one would want you to work in a school and be seen in a situation like that. My advice, do your partying away from that district.
I work in a school and right now we have an awesome football coach with a winning season and stuff, but they have been talking about firing him and are making his teaching job really difficult (putting him in crappy rooms and taking out all the electrical equipment) because he tends to go straight to a nearby bar and get REALLY blasted in front of parents and co-workers. In fact, they will let him go if he has a season that doesn't get them into the playoffs, even if it is a fluke since the team has done well in previous years. Some schools even write provisions in their contracts that you cannot go to a bar within 30 miles of the district you work in. Being in such a prestigous setting, I'd think that they'd demand even more of you as a role model.
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