A
female
age
51-59,
*indy4554
writes: I broke up with my bf 3 weeks ago and we mutually expressed the desire to always remain friends. After breaking up, I expressed the need for some space and no contact so my feelings and thoughts could settle down. Now I have tried to call he doesn't answer; I've e-mailed him he doesn't respond. What can I do to re-establish some kind of contact with him? I know I've hurt him and he didn't want this space of time to go by without talking but I did what I had to do to get through this. Any advise would be great....
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female
reader, Cindy4554 +, writes (6 August 2007):
Cindy4554 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello to everyone who respondedThanks so much!!!!!Guess what?? My ex returned my call last night YAY!!!!!Very Kool indead. We talked about 2 hours and we both were able to express some of what we've been going through individually. It was VERY nice I am tickled to death!!!Thanks again for all your input.... :-) Cindy
A
female
reader, Princess xx +, writes (6 August 2007):
i think he just needs sum more space. i think hes probably still hurting from the breakup right now so feels its not best time to speak yet. he will get in contact wen he feels its a right time for him. if u want to contact him i would leave it a month or two, then ring him if he hasnt rang u. but do be prepared to hear that he may not want to stay in contact with u anymore, it may just be best for him. watever happens u will both find the happiness u both deserve, with or without being in each others lives. i hope this helps x
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A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (5 August 2007):
People say and do strange things when they break up. They make sappy promises and such, to let the people involved down easy. In other words, the break up was sugar coated so it didn't seem so bad......I don't really want to be in this relationship anymore. I want some space from you. You're still nice and we should be friends.....etc. The truth is this. At that moment you cared more about your desires outside of the relationship than the relationship. That is OK. Now you have to live by your choices.
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A
male
reader, DanBing +, writes (5 August 2007):
Talking to you may upset him. Myabe now he needs that space to get through it!? Time is a healer, I'm sure he will contact you.
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A
male
reader, Andy00 +, writes (5 August 2007):
It could be that over time, he has also decided that space is for the best. I know he didn't want to at first, but after a space of time, maybe that's what he came to decide.
I suggest holding things off a little while longer, and then, if you still want to, try and contact him again. But keep in mind, maybe he just doesn't want to keep in contact anymore. Maybe after a length of time, he just doesn't see the point anymore. That is a shame if that is the case, but atleast you have felt a little better as time has gone on, and then after another length of time, it wont bother you that he doesn't want to stay in touch.
I hope that was of some help.
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A
female
reader, Lily loo +, writes (5 August 2007):
It sounds like he is taking his time as well to think things through, and it may hurt him too much to remain friends with you. Especially if he didn't want to break up in the first place. 3 weeks isn't a long time at all. If he still wants to be with you, then imagine how hard it would be for him when you contact him. I would give him his space. Maybe you guys can be frinds eventually, but if you really don't want to me with him anymore then he is going to need time to get over the relationship. Neither one of you is going to be able to do that when you are still checking in and keeping in contact. It's hard, but somtimes that is the only way.
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