A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I have been dating my bf for almost 3 years. I'm 23 (almost 24) and he's 25. He works for an airline company and is always saying we should go places and travel, especially since it's free for us. I would love to travel, but my parents are very old fashioned and don't agree with me sleeping over somewhere with my bf and traveling unless I'm married or engaged. I still live with my parents so I try to respect everything they tell me to do. I have tried discussing it with my parents and they always say "oh we will see" or "we will think about it" but it never gets me anywhere. My bf gets really upset because he can up and go whenever he wants and I can't. I don't want to be disrepectful with my parents and I dont want them to think I'm some kind of slut or something because I'm sleeping in the same bed with my bf on vacation. (I should mention that I lost my virginity to my bf and my parents do not know since sex is something I cannot discuss with them.) It's really starting to bother me because I graduated college and am seeking work and I want the freedom to do what I want without my parents negatively judging me for it. Any opinions please? thanks for listening.
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (17 November 2008):
It sounds like you really don't want to upset your parents but at the same time they seem to want to keep you in a small box until they can marry you off.
When they see, we'll see, just say "great I'll book tickets!" and that will force them into saying "hang on, no." and then you can talk about it with them.
You are 23 and an adult. It is your life at the end of the day. I would see it as such a waste if you didn't travel just to make your parents happy.
Good Luck!! xx
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (17 November 2008):
 Your parents will always be your parents. Their "old fashion" morals deserve respect. It sounds as if they provided you a solid foundation for your growing up.
As an adult, you now have your own set of morals, some of which you can be thankful for your parents providing you with, but you're your own person. You have the opportunity to travel. You can do so without lack of respect. Reason bieng, you're not asking your parents to personally take part in something which would compromise their morals. They raised you well, but not it's time for them to give you some freedom to choose for yourself, without fearing their judgement. Also, by you going does not at all mean they failed in any way.
I hope this helps. Take care.
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A
female
reader, asian tealeaf  +, writes (17 November 2008):
 In the end, you are 23 years old and a mature adult. Although I understand your situation being Asian and all, respect and fear are two different things. How come you do not live in your own flat? Perhaps they see it as while you're under their roof, their rules apply, so now you need to decide if you want to move out, not necessarily shack up with the bf, but you may need to consider moving out so you can be free to go with him and travel. I myself am a world traveller, being to the middle east by myself, Asia, Europe, etc and an opportunity such as yours many would kill for, so, I hope I shed some light for you.
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