A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'v recently been dumped by a guy who I was with for 3 months but before that we been together on and off. He broke up with me this time because I wanted a break, I just felt we were getting too serious and I got scared as i'm moving away this summer. The break up affected me more than I thought it would, I stopped eating, couldn't sleep and I was put on medication due to not eating, I also cried my self to sleep for weeks. I was getting over it and then we got back together, we spent the day together and talked all night and it was amazing, like back to normal again, over the next 2 days he didn't say anything to me and then he dumped me, via my bestfriend, he couldn't face me, I went to see him that night and he couldn't look me in the eye. I coped with it a lot better this time but I can't get him out of my head. Everytime I seen him since I ended up crying. I made him tell me that we were completely over and that he doesn't like me at all anymore, I needed closure because its not fair on me if he keeps doing this. The thing is after he told me that stuff he went really upset, and then my brother went into where he works and my ex started serving him and then got someone else to take over as he looked really upset and about to cry, although the next day he told me he had conjunctivitis, but my brother is almost certain it wasnt. I dont understand it, it was his decision to end it and yet he's the one upset and I'm just coping, he was also ill in bed the other night and I texted him quite late asking him to walk me home because I was on my own and he came out and walked me home, this was when I told him to tell me he doesn't like me anymmore, he kept grabbing my hand and hugging me and I really don't understand any of this. We have been talking like friends since but its not enough, I'm not sure how I'm going to get through the next four months without him. I feel really stupid because hes been going to parties and getting off with other girls, apparently to forget about me, but I still don't understand, surely it should be me who's upset about all of this since I'm the one who was dumped twice. But no matter what he does I would do anything to get back with him right now, I was so happy when I was with him and I would go through this all again if it meant one more day with him. I want to understand what he's feeling. anyway since then we have been talking like mates and its been fine. and then last weekend me and one of my mates went out with him and his mates, he didnt really want me there, coz we had asked him earlier and he said he would prefer me not to go, but then i guess he felt bad coz then he asked me 4 or 5 times to come after i said we wouldnt go. when we got there he was fine with me, really flirty, he kept picking me up and then when i said we have to go he suddenly went quiet. one of his mates walked me home and i ended up kissing him, i pushed him off but iv been feeling bad about it since, im hoping he doesnt find out but i have a feeling he might.i also saw him in town shopping, and me my mate and him we talking for abit and he kept taking the mick out of me and patronising me, in a flirty way and he kept putting his arm around me. anyway we have been talking since and hes suddenly got abit flirty, not overly flirty but like abit. he used to have all these names for me and he has started calling me them again and my mate was argueing with him, and he accidently called her by my name, it wasnt a serious arguement just messing around. i just want to know what hes thinking because im so so confused. all i know is its been over a month since we broke up and i still cant get him out of my head, whenever i see him my stomach does a flip and whenever he hugs me or does anything like that i feel so happy, like i never want to let go, i also feel so safe whenever im with him, and if im stuck in the house all day with nothing to do then i end up thinking about him and the day ends in my eventually crying, so i know that im no way over him, i just dont understand what he feels. my aunty said that her boyfriend and her went through the same thing when they went to uni, she said that it sounds like hes scared of what it did to me the first time so it probably protecting himself and me by ending it completely and being mates. but to be honest i think im stronger since then so wont ever get that bad again. the second time was no where near as hard.i went out with him and his mates again last ngiht and got really drunk. me and him had an arguement about me kissing one of his mates, but this wasnt last night it was a week ago. he ended up walking me home and he said to me he loves so much, more than anything, but its too hard to be together because im moving. i kept trying to kiss him and nearly had him but before anything happened he turned his head, he had been drinking aswell. i actually dont knwo what to do now, its nearly 2 months and i cant stop thinking about him, i dont think il ever get over him.he rang me this morning and hes anoyed at me, and i dont what to do. knowing hes upset and annoyed makes me want to cry, i just want to be with him all the time and i cant imagine my life without him, i dont know what im going to do when i move, maybe it will be easier but the thought of not seeing him can make me upset for days, and its not like i can come back all the time because im moving across the world.it just annoys me because the only thing keeping us apart is out of my control, it isnt my fault im moving.im leaving for just under two years and then coming back, im going to be coming back to england at any chance possible, purely because i know for a fact il want to see him. im even considering telling him it could work when im gone. also im kind of hanging on to the hope that we will get back together when i come back for good, i know it sounds stupid but i honestly think il never not like him, hes put me through so much and made me feel so bad about myself and yet i will still go back to him if he asked me to, its pathetic, i either want to move past all this and be mates because we were mates before we got together or i want to be together, i hate this inbetween bit because its not helping either of us
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a break, broke up, drunk, flirt, get back together, got back together, kissing, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Emaz help  +, writes (8 May 2010):
 long :) lol well as seen as you're moving away and you're still young i would be brave, take a few deep breaths and explain to him that you would still like to be friends but nothing more. You need to realise that you're going to have to leave him eventually and im sure you want a good last few months here before you move, not depressing ones.
A
female
reader, Madalo 1  +, writes (8 May 2010):
Looks like baby love! Lots of confusion.The move will do you good,you'll clear your head and when you're back,you'll be able to think with your head and not your emotions on whether to get back with him or not.This happens all the time.You think he's the only guy in the world,but trust me,you'll soon get over him.
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