A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I want to try cunnilingus but my wife thinks its 'dirty'. The problem is it really turns me on. What do I do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2010): How did you solve your problem? Please post an update here.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks folks for all your help. Wish me luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2010): Most women are unable to be directly talked into this. Most inexperienced females do not have the skills to negotiate sex acts. So you're left to the social work part; helping her adjust her perception. And how you do that requires careful preparation.
Does she mean "dirty" as in morally unclean, or does she mean physically dirty, as in unsanitary? That would be good to know. And I don't know why people are assuming she's the one that's physically dirty; perhaps she's anxious about the facts of bacteria and germs present in our mouths. That is a truly legitimate concern. If so, I don't blame her for being afraid of what you could pass to her. If she's concerned with that, ensure her you will clean up well with brushing and sanitizing before you go down on her.
Then, I would deff take it baby steps at a time. For the first time, do just enough without the intent of finishing. Like a soft sucking rhythmic movement on the skin over her clit only and just for a few moments. She'll want more either in that moment or later on. And make sure you don't use the stuff you learned in porn; that doesn't feel good to a woman. Would you like to be lapped like a cat drinking water during your blow job? Of course not. Just like men need a soft mouth with a rhythmic sucking maneuver to get off, so do females.
Morally, she could think this is dirty and that's when you can point her in the direction of "full fidelity" for the Christian folks. If she thinks cunninlingus is morally dirty, she needs to be informed of how so many couples engage in oral sex and live "moral" lives, and believe it's possible. There's a lot of good online resources for that theory.
Good luck and let us know...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2010): Is not dirty but you must find a solution. Give her to read some article about this and explain her what you want. When two person are in love, nothing is dirty between them. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE  +, writes (26 January 2010):
 wow angz! i dont even kno what cunnilings means i guess i could use google but im not sure i want to kno
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (26 January 2010):
 Well I cannot agree that tricking her into something that she says is unpleasant to her is the way to go. In my opinion, a woman needs to be at least somewhat receptive. In my personal experience, I cannot recall much (or any) objection, but I would agree that talking with her is a better start to the process. Find out the exact reason that she feels it's "dirty." Telling her that she can freshen up is good too, because some young women don't really know. It finally depends on the "reason" that she objects, which you may eventually be able to overcome.
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A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (25 January 2010):
Very easy to get her into it. First make sure its after an evening shower so she feels fresh. Then when you are beginning to make love, tell her you just want to look at it (the p-ssy) and you won't do anything; promise. She will probably keep her hands close by to guard. Then without warning, pin her hands firmly by her side and deftly work your tongue in there.. Make it very wet and not rough or hard painful licking. Just enthusiastic wet licking. Then tell her breathily how much you loved that and carry on with your usual love making. Do this a few times; she will fall for the trick every time. Don't aim to give her an orgasm the first few times; this is just an intro to get her into it. Then after a month or so she will be begging for it. Enjoy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2010): Take her to the shower and wash her up. Then go down on her. That way she can't possibly claim its dirty and she will have a new perspective on things. Also brush your teeth and wash your mouth before kissing her after you've been down there as she will most likely fret out about that too. Then after a while she should get used to it. Sounds like sheæs just never had it before and doesn't know that it's really not dirty at all. Maybe she needs to wash up beforehand, and is afraid that you will think she smells?
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A
female
reader, MissFixIt +, writes (25 January 2010):
 HiYour wife probably feels insecure, I must admit the thought of it doesn't exactly get me excited but if it's something you truly want to try then speak to her. Wait until you are both in an intimate moment, remind her how beautiful she is and how much you love her, remember you must take her feelings and opinions into account, go in for the kill and maybe it will just happen. If she still says no, i'd give up there are plenty of other ways to express yourself!
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2010): God, wish you were my bf..have you asked her why she thinks its dirty? Does she shave down there? is he maybe insecure about herself?..I believe that taking her out on a nice restaurant and getting a couple of drinks to get her in the mood would be a choice then start kissing her body from top to bottom, if she says anything, tell her that you love pleasing her, and this is something you guys should try because indeed she just might end up loving it!!!
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A
female
reader, Emjo +, writes (25 January 2010):
 Perhaps you could explain your feelings about it to her and see what she thinks, find out why she thinks its so wrong and find a way to work around it, maybe have showers before and after if shes worried about her personal hygine for the first few times. If your good at it i can garentee you she wont say no again!
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A
female
reader, Roadster73 +, writes (25 January 2010):
 Try telling her that you read somewhere that regular oral sex between a couple is the glue (pardon the pun :0) ) that keeps a couple together!!
Oh and when you do it make sure you know what your doing.. B4 I met my hb I wasn't fussed about all that, then I met my Hubby and he showed me what I had been missing!!
Try leaning over her so your looking down on her lady garden rather than looking at it, then on her clitoris go through the alphabet...do it slowly and don't expect her to let go & enjoy it the first few times!!! I bet in the next few weeks she will be begging for it though!!
Good luck
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