A
female
age
51-59,
*AINTS
writes: Married for 10 years, fell out in two, I feel so alone and so cheated, and I have some mental and health disabilites. He cheated and we are passed that but to sum it up, he's just not there. I would have terminated it but it's hard for me to keep work .He works out of town 4 to 5 days a week and visits 3 days but watches tv, literally ,eats ,sleeps, takes care of just finances and that's only some of the time.I want to move on with my life but I don't know where to begin?
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female
reader, Gena Bullock +, writes (14 March 2008):
Sounds like my life prior to leaving my ex a couple years ago; only we were married 26 years and had one child. My advice to you is to find a stable job away (after saving a few dollars to get set up in a rental and have enough to live off of for at least 3-6 months in case of hard times) and get away from him. File for separation and divorce him.
My ex worked away for many years after our daughter was born and then too, had extramarital affairs (I found out later)out the yen-yang! Not that this is the same situation, but a man's a man and has needs, if he's normal.
Don't feel like you've got to stay in this slump. I wish I'd gotten out many years ago, but like you, I was afraid and didn't know how to start. I saved $$ and once my child finished high school and married, I found a rental and moved out. When you accomplish this on your own, it is the GREATEST feeling you'll ever know. So, treat yourself right and move on. You'll never regret it. Best, Gena
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (14 March 2008):
Have you talked with your husband? If not, that would definately be a good place to start.
You want to move away from your husband, but have no plan on what to do when you do that.
If I were you I'd go check with social security. Aslo check with vocational rehabilitation which assists people with disabilities in education programs to enter the work force. There are other programs too you can find out about through family service and your state that will assist you in finding a direction you wish to go.
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