A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I recently got back together with my ex bf of a year. I am more in love then ever. I am 20 years old, 2 years into college, and I am having a difficult time telling my parents that we are back together, purely on the fact that he was arrested this past summer...for some dumb thing that he did with his friends. It turns out that he recently learned he will not be serving time and he will get away with just probation. My dad does not think he is the right guy for me, and refers to him as a loser and crazy cuz he called several times when we broke up. My dad considered him a loser because of his bad decisions. I want more than anything to marry him. He has truly proven that he is making something of himself, and that he will do anything to make us work. Hes at a great college, has a great family, and wants to make changes in his life to be close to me. I want that. I feel that once i graduate, that its my decision who i want to marry, but what if it means tearing my family apart. PLease help me. :(
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male
reader, IRDave  +, writes (8 October 2008):
 You may be 20 but as you probably realise it's still the same kind of thing as when you were in your teens. The more your parents pull you in one way the more you want to push them away.
You can't be scared of what your parents think. It sounds like he is a decent guy, I know people get in trouble for stupid junk like messing around but this just makes them human. If he had done anything that bad you can guarantee he would be serving time.
Of course, you must be able to see your parents side of the story. They obviously just want to protect you, and annoying as that can be, they're gonna keep doing it for ever and ever and ever.
Be strong and don't let people dictate what you should be doing.
A
female
reader, meforyou +, writes (8 October 2008):
ur family should try 2 understand how much u love this guy, sure they'l be worried bout u but parents wil do that anyway. u ave 2 decide, do u go behind ur parents backs n go out with him anyway? that way u risk ur parents being dissapointed with u as u have lied. or do u tell them how much u want 2 b with him, n try n get them 2 giv him another chance? then at least ur being honest. I'd tel them th truth if i were u. they can dislike him all they want but its u their hurting in th process. just b honest with them, its the best way. all th best n good luck
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