A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hi all ..thanks for some help , Im working as an exotic dancer in a rather nice club , I love my job and really enjoy turning on the guys and feeling them wanting me so badly . But I began dating this guy I met there ( I know , I know ..its against the rules ) but he is a lovely guy with a good professional career . Problem is I want to keep dancing , he wants me to stop , Im feeling like its tearing us apart as he gets so jealous knowing I am arousing other men ..But I love it ! ..Any other girls out there who have had problems like this ? What should I do ? Pleeasee help , Im getting really confused .
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question I went back to work today , and just loved it so much , I feel like a free sexy spirit at work ..Its Hot .
But I haven't finalised anything for the future yet , going to try and take it week by week . As I really do love turning all the guys on so much ..then sending them off , with less money in their wallets !
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2010): Honestly, this is about your life. Is this man real. Does he love you? What does he do?
Look, you can't dance for the rest of your life. You are a woman. And a woman is only happy when she gives her heart to a man she truly loves and respects.
Is this guy it?
If not, and if the dancing makes sense for you in your life, stay. But if this is a way out, and he is a good quality guy with a good influence on you, then go with it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks all ..Your answers are all logical .
When Im having a really great day in the club sometimes my mind goes to what hes saying and I get really confused and get anxiety attacks , I can calm down quickly . But it doesn't help my dancing or communication .
Guys can just tell when you are feeling really sexy , or if you have a problem , I find this always no matter how hard you try to act otherwise . Particularly when the performance is sexual and about sensual , and tease .
At this point Im telling him , that he knew the job I do , but he still wants me to quit .
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2010): Well, obviously he is giving you an ultimatum. You are going to have to choose. There is not in between. Make your choice and stick to it. You have to be decisive in life or it will get messy and you will waste your time in unnecessary drama.
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A
male
reader, escribanus  +, writes (12 February 2010):
 If you buy a cow, you get a cow. If you buy a car, you get a car. He knew what was your work and he knew that you like that job, so he shouldn't be trying to change what you are.
Well many men have a fantasy. To rescue a lady on trouble, He might have thought that you were there because you were forced to by life and he sees himself as brave knight on shining armor. It is your choice to keep the brave price or to keep your beloved job.
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female
reader, Accountable  +, writes (12 February 2010):
 I would agree with Samantha - he met you there, so clearly isnt that opposed to your career on any moral grounds, and started a relationship with you knowing full well what you do for a living. If you love your job, it hardly seems fair that you should have to stop it for him - he made the choice to start a relationship with you despite having a problem with what you do, so at some point he obviously felt he could handle it.
I can understand his insecurity, but I think the solution lies in the two of you building some trust, not you being forced to leave your job. Talk it out with him - I hope it goes well!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2010): @Samantha x:
The comparison is invalid. When he goes as a CUSTOMER is different than going as a WORKER.
Moreover, it is wrong to say that someone is wrong to express his preferences, his own preferences, in HIS relationship. He, by his very nature, cannot accept the fact that his girlfriend is doing exotic dancing. We cannot blame him for what he thinks. He, however, wants her to stop IN THE EVENT she wants to say as his girlfriend. He is not someone who is imposing his opinion on the absolute. I hope you understand me.
In case she wants him, she would quit. If her job means more to her than him then fine, go, we will start blaming him when he forbids her from both getting out to the club and getting out of the relationship. Now this would be wrong.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2010): Here's a solution:
You dance for him privately, he pays you for each dance. Problem solved!
Wait... that cannot be it, in fact you have to choose between your career and your bf.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2010): To be honest, I think it unfair of this guy to expect you to stop dancing. I mean, he goes to the place, right? So why is it okay for him to be there, but expect you to quit?
Have you been seeing this guy for long? Is it serious between the two of you? I can understand his insecurity regarding what you do, but if he is in a relationship with you he needs to try and trust you. Without that, things will be difficult. I think it depends on the relationship you have with him, and how you feel about him. Would you be prepared to stop dancing for him? Or are you not happy about that?
It is completely your decision, but in my opinion, I would say don't give up a job you love for any guy. He met you at the place where you work, so he knew full well what you do. It is unfair of him to expect you to stop now that he has come along. So if it was me, I would carry on. But if he means a lot to you, then he needs to trust you. Isn't that what relationships are all about?
Good luck with your decision, and I hope this has helped. x
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