A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im am 16 i will be turning 17 in a month , my boyfriend is 17 he will also be turning 18 in a month. well we want to get married and he doesnt have his papers so he is ilegal. what do i need to do. i am also a foster child and i dont have a clue how to get married. i dont need any negative comments please just help me out here. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (19 January 2011):
 Whoa! What ever is your big hurry?!
Seriously, you are barely grown up (I don't mean that as an insult; its simply a fact: you ARE still very young).
He is an illegal alien and I don't know whether he has a job or not, but even so, there is a strong possibly that sooner or later he could be deported. THEN where would you be if you were to marry him (assuming that at your age you are even old enough to marry anyone yet).
What would you do? Stay here, or go back with him to Mexico, Honduras, wherever he's from, and try to adjust to a vastly different lifestyle and culture? Suppose you were to get pregnant?
No, please, unless and until he is able to apply for a green card so he can stay here legally, DO NOT even THINK about marriage! Sorry!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2011): You're 16-17 and express a desire to get married, and to get married to a 'boy' who does not possess documents (papers) therefore ilegal.
You are barely out of school, and cannot have possibly known this boy long enough to be making such a decision. Even IF you have known him since you were 15 or so, this is still inappropriate.
Marriage is NOT dating, FUN or an accessory you plan for, it is a serious commitment which at your age, without any previous 'life's experiences' is not something which should be encouraged.
As ever, people think about marriage in 'fairy tale' terms,
but unlike most, I doubt you even know what you want to do for the rest of your life, career wise, education wise, let alone being married for the next 70 years or so to the same person.
The following to be discussed BEFORE getting married, with a plan of action to support yourselves, and NOT depend on the state. What provisions have you made for a roof over your head, rent, full-time work, how you're going to pay the bills from food, clothes, medical insurance to IF you have children. How will you share this financial commitment, how will share domestic responsibilities, how you will split time between friends.
These are just some of the areas that 'marriage is about, and NOT dating or being in love, so please, why not just enjoy 'dating this boy' and if you are really meant to be, you will still be together in five years, when it may be more appropriate and sensible to consider marriage.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (19 January 2011):
 First, like Dirtball says..your boyfriend has to apply for citizenship in order to be legally married in the US. Since he is here illegally he might run into some issues with that. There's a lot of rules and requirements he's going to have to go through. Do note, he might be granted citizenship because he's here illegally. This is your biggest issue.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_nationality_law
Also if you're wanting to get married before 18, you will have to have your legal guardian(s) sign legal documents in the court of law in order for you to get married. If you wait until you're 18, then you won't have to have to go through that.
May I ask why you want to get married so young?
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (19 January 2011):
 Wait until you're 18. If you plan on spending your lives together, you can wait a year to make that official. Why not start with an engagement?
As far as his legal status in this country. He needs to apply for citizenship. I don't know where you are, but you can look online for immigration in the US and I'm sure you can find some resources to help you learn what needs to be done for him to be here legally.
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