A
female
age
36-40,
*lsieMay
writes:Hey, I have a problem which is starting to take over my life and I know that it really shouldn’t. Ill try and explain things to that you understand, as a lot has happened to me over the last 6 months. Ok, here goes…I started talking to a guy on Facebook (who added me). He noticed me through a mutual friend. At the time that he added me, my then boyfriend and I were having problems. I started asking this guy for advice and, impartially he gave it. I didn’t ask for so much help but his natural reaction was to help, so I let him. Then we started talking about other things. We fancied each other and spoke online for 3 months. I moved out of my boyfriend’s house after an argument and we ended the relationship 2 months later. Me and my boyfriend were going out for 6 years, but things weren’t right. We were drifting apart and wanted different things from life. I met up with the online guy a week after breaking up with my boyfriend, knowing that a relationship was not going to come out of it, but I was slightly nervous about meeting him because I had started to develop feelings for him. But none the less, although he didn’t pressurize anything on me, we did end up sleeping together. And I don’t regret it. But now I feel really bad because I started to fall for him I told him this and he says that its too early for me to go into a relationship with anyone, otherwise it would just be a rebound relationship-which we both don’t want to do. He also doesn’t want a relationship at the moment because he said he likes being single, but he still wants to be friends with me. I thought he fancied me but he said he didn’t. He only found me attract in a sexual way.(apparently) The problem I have now is that it’s been 10 weeks since I last saw him and I feel slightly trapped. I feel like I really need to see him. I don’t want to be with another man (for sex) but I don’t want my ex back either. And I don’t just want to see the guy for sex, but just to hang out and get to know each other a bit better. I’m confused because he said that he didn’t feel any connection while we were together, but he gave all the signals of being attracted to me (flirting, smiling at me for no reason and when I asked what he's smiling at he said 'nothing' calling us meeting up a ‘date’), so should I wait-be friends with him and let him grow to like me or should I try and forget about him?? I just feel a bit annoyed because it feels as though he doesn’t want to get to know me.Help!(Sorry for this being so long) ^_^
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female
reader, ElsieMay +, writes (24 August 2010):
ElsieMay is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thankyou both for your feedback. 'Under the stars', I see what you mean by him only wanting me for sex. But when we met up me and him both knew that we were likely to sleep with each other because of the nature of the conversations prior to meeting up. We have quite a lot in common and he even said that he liked me because its hard to find people he can actually tlk to.
'Anon', yeah I think that maybe he does like me more than he's letting on, but doesnt want to do too much too quickly. And we didnt really want a relationship out of this, but it just so happened that i liked him more by meeting him. I'm just gonna stay friends with him as he still keeps in contact with me and helps me with things. He also does still want to be feinds with me so I'll just let time do its thing. The last thing I want to do is rush anything.
Thankyou both :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): Sounds to me like you were used and once he got what he wanted he discarded you. He said he doesn't fancy you but only in a sexual way, what that really means is "i don't care about your personality or interests but i do find you hot and want to get in your pants". You would be wise to take this as a mistake and move on.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): He might be ravging madly attracted to you, yet he doesn't want to show it, cuz he has been hurt like to many times b4. If you are a "hottie', he is attracted to you. And if he knows he has helped you, and prob does, he wants to continue on, yet he also wants to make sure you are not going to trample his heart. I think he is "mad" bout you if he is not showing any surface attention. Some of guys can be cold as hell when it comes to those who we are attracted to at times. We want to know, whuz up ?
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