A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I love a teacher of mine. I wasn't even sure what the feeling was until my mom identified it. (I talk about him with her; my age difference with my teacher is the same as my mom's with my dad.)He's 12- 13 years older than me, but even so, we connect. We have more in common than i do with any of my school friends, and i much prefer spedning time with him.The thing is, we went through a lot last year. He was really nice to me, but at one point, he had a lot of personal problems and would get impatient with me. I stuck by him. (He now appreciates this.) He relized his mistake and,during one class, practically apologized to me in front of everyone.We went back to being friends. As the year came to a close, we began talking about more personal things than school stuff.I was supposed to take his class next year as well, but my schedule won't allow it. And now it's summer and i miss him terribly.I guess that what i'm asking is what should i do? i don't want to live like this my whole life. i want to continue our friendship, and i wish that this could work romantically, but, of course, i would never get him in trouble.No other questions on here have given me the help i need-- and trust me, i have literally read every single student/ teacher one.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyes, you helped a ton!
and no... nothing innapropriate. i'm no longer in his class, so now we're just kind of friends.
ok... so last year it seemed like he was going through a rough time (there were a lot of firings so it could have been from stress or the fact that his friend got fired) and he got a tad angry at me one day because i got called to guidance his period when i was supposed to take a test, even though it wasn't my fault, so i was a bit angry at him as well until i realized that something was wrong. he just didn't seem happy-- he didn't seem himself. so i backed off for a little bit, but i was still nice and polite, and when it came time for me to finally take that test we made a joke out of it.
does that help at all? it's been a while, so the details are a bit fuzzy.
A
female
reader, mysterious_blonde_lady  +, writes (28 July 2009):
Hmmm ok. I take it he is about 30 then? These sort of things depend alot on the personality of the person in question. If he hasn't attempted to make any moves on you, if he hasnt touched you, or behaved innappropriately these are good signs. When you are over 18, there could be potential for it working, the age difference is reasonably big although not big enough to be perverse. If he hasn't shown any obvious sexual interest in you below the age of 16, then this is also a good sign. It also depends on whether he is married or is with someone already (g/f, fiance). I am interested in what you mean when you talk about something you stuck by him in, when he had to apologize to you;; more information about that might help. When you leave, it might be possible to spend more time with him - in a social environment where things have the potential for progression. As an intelligent and mature person -- you have probably decided what it is you want to do about this situation and therefore i wish you the best with it. However, i will illustrate a few warning signs// warnings you need to be aware of. (you may well already be). Firstly, don't worry about getting him in trouble, he is an adult and is responsible for himself (he will have had the rules of teacher/student drummed into him enough times to take care of himself), secondly, if he is innappropriate with you or treats you in a way which is favourist then he may be unreliable or dishonest; same could be said if he is married/g.f. If he is controlling or domineering in anyway, if he has a reputation, if he flirts or looks at other girls your age or if he seems self-absorbed or cold. These are the main warning signs. Laws in place that stop teachers from having relationships with children are there to protect the children not the teachers;; bear this mind. Also;; if you decide to initiate a relationship, do it when you are on even terms. (he has no authority over you). Other than this, don't think he is the 'love of your life', don';t think he will complete you or make you happy, only you can do that. Make sure you are not filling a hole somewhere, or overcompensating, make sure you are not reliant or dependant on him in anyway at all. This way if things dont go the way you want (as things often dont) you won't be quite so destroyed. Make sure also;; you are comfortable with explaining to people where you met. And added to this - be prepared for him to change his mind. If he decides into your relationship that he no longer wants a relationship anymore;; and never let him make you keep it a secret.
Hope i helped x
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A
female
reader, Tevote  +, writes (22 July 2009):
 Hi there
Sorry but I don't know that you've read all of the questions about teacher/student relationships because i'm quite sure there have been answers to what you're going through.
I'm glad you don't want to get him into trouble, that's a good start. I'm not going to tell you to move on or get over him because these are your feelings and they may have just happened unintentionally.
The best thing for you to do is continue being friendly and talking to him etc. And once you leave school maybe get his email or just ask him to stay in contact with you, maybe after a while something will come up and he may tell you his feelings or invite you somewhere.
But this can still be worrysome for his career. Doesn't always look good but it's better then starting anything now.
So just take the advice that others have given you and possibly mine-do with it what you will :)
Goodluck, you can always pm me if you have any questions, i've been in a similar situation like yours.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyes, i have a lot of free time.
and no, i would never ever tell him... and definitely not while still at school. i'm not stupid.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2009): You've read them all? What - all one thousand, two hundred and eighty of them? (and still counting)
I find that hard to believe.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (21 July 2009):
 If you have read all the teacher crush postings and none of them helped then I guess you are SOL because we've had a gazillion of them and the aunts and uncles pretty much advise the same thing. You will look back on this and have a good laugh some day.
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A
female
reader, AskSam  +, writes (21 July 2009):
 Hey there little huni,
Well to be honest he is a teacher and risks losing his job if you were to so much as even tell him, everyone has a crush on a teacher at some point, but thats all it can be, my darling you are so young, and the hormones are in a flurry, he is probably a lovely teacher and loves you as a student but nothing more. This guys job is on the line if you say something, it breaks every natural law, plus he is a lot older than you. He sounds like a dedicated teacher and if i were you i would simply put your head down and finish your schooling and forget about it, because while he works there it can never be a reality. By all means, keep him as a friend.
Sorry to be so brutal but i think its just a crush and this phase will pass, hence why i excelled in biology at school, i thought i loved him we did lots of things like help with projects in the school. and eventually i grew up and it fizzled out. Lovely daydreams though. And its nice to keep it that innocent.
All the best
samxxxxx
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