A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 21 years old and my friend, who is 18, hooked me up with this 15 year old girl. There was and is a connection. However I seem to have become a nervous wreck and rather paranoid. See while our relationship is STRICTLY non-sexual, i just can't stand the age difference. There's no way I'm telling my parents about this because I've never shared that kind of stuff with them. I'm pretty sure her parents wouldn't approve. And I can't break it off with her cause she's told me how happy she is with me and I really don't want to hurt her.I do love her very much but I know in the back of my mind I shouldn't be with her. Everytime I tell myself " today I gotta tell her I can't be with her", I end up thinking about her and how she smiles everytime I'm with her. I just don't have the heart to break up with her. I'm not one of those creepy guys who means to go out and look for younger girls. My head is in the right place in that I DO NOT want anything sexual with her and that I want to break up with her. She just keeps giving me reasons why we can and should be together and I keep falling for it. Can please someone help me??? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, SaphiraGold16  +, writes (19 February 2010):
 Personaly I don't see why the agre difference is a problem, if you like the girl and she likes you why shouldnt you be together aslong as there isnt any sexual things going on and you are strictly just BF and GF until she's 16 what's the problem?
Your parents and her parents will be a tad iffy but reassure them.
A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (19 February 2010):
Good for you wanting to do the right thing. I know it would be hard to tell her face to face because she might plead and cry making it hard for you to end it. So I suggest you write a letter. Not email/ text. A real letter written by hand. Explain to her that you also apologise for telling her by letter but that you couldn't face her. To protect yourself in case this letter falls into the wrong hands, state somewhere that you never slept with her or ever intend to, not because she isn't wonderful but because you respect her age and you want her to wait until she is of legal age etc. Maybe mention that you didn't know she was 15 and now that you do, you really feel guilty. Tell her that she is perfect in every way and that the ONLY reason you are breaking up is because she is underage. Tell her you will wait for her until she is 18 then you will come back for her. After you send the letter, remain out of touch, but maybe you can follow it up with an 'I'm sorry' card and flowers the next day.
If you don't want to do a letter, perhaps tell her that there is someone who has theatened you with informing her parents and your parents and you want to cool things off for a while because you could go to jail or something.
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A
male
reader, MyDestiny +, writes (19 February 2010):
 Well go with your gut dude. You know it's not right and that she's a minor...and you don't want to get yourself in trouble. Yeah there may be a connection but I don't think it's really appropriate with the age difference that wide. And it's not really just the age difference..cause it wouldn't really matter if she was 21 and you 27. It's also the maturity level and wanting different things. I suggest you let her down easy, the nicest way possible. You don't want to get yourself in trouble. And just explain to her why, she will understand if she is not stubborn.
-a.e
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A
female
reader, pancakes rule  +, writes (19 February 2010):
 If you can't stand the age difference then you should break up with her.
Because she is so young and you're 21 so it is frowned upon anyway and you probably would have been better off with someone your own age.
Six years is an awful lot when you're that young and you would be in two completely different places in life.
You seem very nice, but you should just bite the bullet and break up with her.
good luck
xx
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A
female
reader, leogirl18  +, writes (19 February 2010):
In my opinion you should break it off with her. There is too much of an age difference. You are an adult and she is still a young teenager. In life right now you have different priorities and things you need to do. You have the right idea to break up with her.
I have 2 sisters who just turned 16 and it would be unbelieveable to see them dating someone 6 years older than them. My brother is 6 years older than them and to compare the different ages by looking at them, the difference is just to weird and unappropiate.
As much as you like her its best for both of you to end it.
She will be upset but in time you both will find someone new and she will be over it.
Just tell her its for the best and you have different priorities in your lives right now.
Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, jessie32 +, writes (19 February 2010):
I think maybe you should tell her the truth, what else is there?
Talk to her, dont just break it up, TALK=) (i'm not a good adviser, am I?) =) Good luck!
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