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I want to be friends, but I'm unsure.

Tagged as: Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 November 2007) 4 Answers - (Newest, 9 November 2007)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend and I broke up yesterday. I am completely happy about it. I do want to maintain our friendship but He has said that if I keep calling him that we will never be friends. I don't know what to do. He broke up with me for a 14 yr old. He is 20. I have shipped him all of his things and I hope that we can be friends but I am unsure.

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A female reader, Minelisse Puerto Rico +, writes (9 November 2007):

Minelisse agony auntFrom experience, I believe it is not possible to have a friendship with someone you just broke up with. There are a lot of possible mixed feelings from either side.

In time, maybe, you will be able to maintain a friendship, but I would guess this would be very difficult to do with someone who ended a relationship to start dating someone else.

I have been able to keep a cordial relationship with most of my exes. We can chat a while or speak on the phone although I try not to do it often or see them in person (where there was fire, there is still a spark). I do not, however, maintain contact with an ex who disrespected me and as a result we broke up. I believe trust was damaged and if I don't trust someone I am not interested in being his/her friend.

It's your decision, just look out for your true feelings on the subject!

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom +, writes (9 November 2007):

kenny agony auntI can't really see why you would want to be friends with him as he has left you for someone else. And that someone else is way below the legal age of consent, and he could get into serious trouble if anything were to happen. I think you should just forget about this guy and move on with your life, i think you can do better than him.

Take care x

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A female reader, sexi South Africa +, writes (9 November 2007):

sexi agony auntHi

How are you planning on maintaining a friendship with him knowing that he left you for somebody else (sorry that was so harsh) If someone did that to me i would want to have anything to do with them?!? It is possible that you have unresolvesd feeings for him and that you think by maintaining a friendship that you can rekindle what you rll once had.You cant force him into doing what he doesnt want to do.

Good Luck,mail me if you wanna talk

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A female reader, adorkable_gg United States +, writes (9 November 2007):

adorkable_gg agony auntIt sounds to me that he wasn't too great of a boyfriend to begin with. However, it is understandable that you want to remain friends. He was a part of your life, and it's hard to let go. Best I can say is to give him space, and contact him later on when he's less tense. As for now, Celebrate the fact you're no longer with a man that would leave you for a 14 year old, because he's just a jerk that doesn't know the law. Really want an ignorant jerk as a friend? you decide. Happy friendship-saving! [=

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