A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:HELP ME AGONY AUNTS!My Boyfriend And I Have Been Going Out For A While Now And We Were Thinking On Having Sex. Now Problem With Me Is The Fact That Im Scared That The Condom Will Break Or Somthing. Yes Im On The Pill But I Also Suggested To My Bf That We Could Use Spermicide(he fliped about that and i dont know why) But I Told Him The Only Way He's Ever Going To "cum" Inside Of Me Is Either When Hes Trying To Get Me Pregnant Or We Use Condom And Spermicide. Can Any One Suggest How I Could Maybe Sneak Spermicide Into My Vagina Right Before We Have Intercourse?Or Is There Any Other Ways That He Could Still Get The Full Efect Of Having An Orgasm With Out Pulling Out?
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condom, orgasm, sperm, the pill, vagina Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007): Thanks for all the help guys...
Minelisse my bf does not have any STD's. Weve been check first of all and he hasnt had sex neither have i.
Phil it does not take me twice as long to write it because my pinky finger just hovers over the SHIFT button and its just an impulse if you dont ike it dont read it.
And Male Anonymous we ARE ready for sex i just want it to be as safe as possible because frankly.. a condom isnt 100% using pill with condom is good but i still dont want to ruin my life with a kid.
Thanks to iwillhelp and the other male reader anonymous you guys helped a bunch 3
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007): Well I was in a similar situation, only on the opposite end, so maybe I can provide some insight.
So your already on the pill, and your both willing to use a condom. He probably feels that the addition of spermacide lotion is overkill, since your using 2 forms of birth control already. Its probably not the spermacide thats bothering him, but the fact that your anxiety over having sex and becoming pregnant is overcomplicating the idea of having sex.
This is how it was with my ex-girlfriend, she overcomplicated the sexual act to the point that there was no passion left, and it was part of the reason we broke up in the end. His point of view may be that the pill+condom is protection enough, if you personally require more then one of you needs to make a compromise.
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A
female
reader, Minelisse  +, writes (9 November 2007):
 Sorry to be the one to tell you but there are several things you should consider before having sex:1. Sexually transmitted diseases (STD) often do not present symptoms and are still contagious. A lot of people might have them and spread them because they do not know they are infected.2. If you do use spermicide it should not be Nonoxyl 9 as it could break the condom.3. Sexual negotiation is a must before having sex with your partner. Negotiating safer sex practices and agreeing on what the two of you, as a couple, are going to accept or not doing intercourse is important.I hope this helps you make an informed decision concerning sexual intercourse with your bf.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007): Why do you have to start every word with a capital letter? It sure makes it hard to read and must take you twice as long as it should to write like that!
Phil
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007): Two two of you are not ready for sex yet if you're sneaking around on stuff like this.
Maybe he doesn't know what spermicide is and he's scared of being harmed. I dunno what's up with him. But either way the two of you should be able to talk about something like this if your relationship is really close enough for sex right now.
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A
female
reader, iwillhelp  +, writes (9 November 2007):
 I suggest dont go behind his back but let him know I am scard this is my BODY i dont want a child so inless u respect that we can't work (just scare him) You dont want a baby so be STRONG!! if you have any questions email me
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