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female
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anonymous
writes: I left my boyfriend of 4 years 8 months ago.I still love him very much... I needed to leave, to be on my own, in order to deal with old wounds. I feel that I have gained good ground.I haven't had much contact with my ex. We have each gone our seperate ways... but I can't stop thinking about him. I love him.I would like to see him.. ask if he would consider giving "us" a second chance, but I am scared. What should I do ?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2007): yes we all deserve a second chance,4 years is a long time,i still love my ex but she says she is always busy.
we all get one life one day we will all be on are death bed,and you would probaly think of all the things you never did.good luck ...................x ask him before time runs out..
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2006): I don't think you should contact your ex expecting something back.As you know, he may have moved his own way in life.....and well may have found someone else !
So, you may end up hurting yourself.I guess you should just call him up and say hi like friends....and see where it goes from there....probably...you could start your relationship on a new level !
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female
reader, marie78 +, writes (20 November 2006):
Put your feeling out there... that's what I'm doing this weekend with my ex- I'm going to tell my ex that I still love him (as I've done many times before) and tell him that I'd like to be with him again... the point here is to be honest. Don't go through life with regrets. At least he'll know where you stand. Be strong, you can do it! Good luck
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reader, I Dont Lie +, writes (20 November 2006):
 There is no harm in expressing your feelings to him if you really feel u stll love him. So much time has passed now that it makes it easier to express yourself again, as opposed to when you first broke up. But also beware of the fact that he might not be interested at all with the offer, but like I said, theres no harm in trying, its a win win situation the way I see it. If he doesnt want it, nothing to lose there as youve been without him for 8 months now so youre sure to stay alive without him, if you get him back, then well, congratulations!
P/S: Just one thing I didnt understand about your post, you said you left him back then to deal with old wounds? You took 4 years to finally realise that you needed to be by yourself to deal with old wounds? I bet he was confused as hell when you broke it off with him, Im sure I would be. Lets hope that hes a forgiving person! Good luck.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2006): Four years is a long time to be with someone; some marriages don't last that long. Obviously you must have both had very strong feelings for each other. If you are SURE that you want to be with him, and if you feel complete in yourself, then give it a go. It's fair enough to be scared. There are no guarantees, and chances are he might be scared of being hurt again. But if you don't give it a chance, you'll always wonder, and you'll regret it. At least if you try, you'll know. Maybe writing a letter that expressing how you feel, and how you have dealt with the the personal reasons that meant you needed space, would be that way to go. Be honest, spill your guts. By doing it with a letter, it means that you'll be able to say all you need to say, without being interrupted, and he'll have time to think about what you've said and figure out how he feels about it. I would give him time, then maybe follow it up with a phone call. It might not work out, it might be painful- but then it might. At least he'll know how you feel. If you fold, you lose.
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A
male
reader, AR +, writes (20 November 2006):
4 years is a long time to just forget about a relationship. whether or not he has moved on with his life is not THAT improtant. its important but what you should focus on if you want to even have him consider giving the relationship another chance is him being able to rely on you. from what i got in your question, you left him to deal with your issues. as far as i know, he did nothing wrong but invest in his feelings in the relationship. and he probably got hurt when you left him. the thing is that its going to be hard for him to rely and trust you after leaving him to deal with your issues. he has to see that you are not going to abandon him again.
if he believes you and even considers getting back, thats a huge step.
good luck.
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