A
female
age
30-35,
*arnes66
writes:There's this guy at my work who just got hired 3 months ago. Initially, We hardly talked to each other and I was indifferent towards him. This all changed few weeks later when I ran into him in stairway-the first thing he asked was if I go to the gym, to which I replied yes and asked him why he was asking. He proceeded to tell that he saw me the previous day at the gym while he was on treadmill and I was on different machine -but wasn't sure if it was me and that I looked very familiar . I confirmed that he was indeed right. The funny thing is ,I didn't even notice him at the gym that day. After chatting briefly ,I came to conclusion that he variably visits that gym as me -He visits other locations .So it was mere coincidence that we ended up at the same gym that day. Similarly, I go to different locations depending on where I am and the traffic . I've gone back to the same location few times but my gym schedules haven't coincident with his. In addition,We work in completely unrelated departments.(we have very minimal work-related contact) However, we seem to run into each other walking in and out of conference rooms, hallways ,elavotors and staff rooms. He now always make it a point to smile ,ask how I'm doing and If he is not rushing off somewhere for work, we'll end up chatting briefly about basic stuff.ie if we have gone to gym lately etc.I see him see him around 1-3 times a week if I'm lucky. He's got this reserved yet friendly geeky nature that I just can't get enough.There's no indication that he is anything towards me other than just-being a -pleasant friendly professional capacity but I'm curious about him, and therefore want to talk to him more, spend some time with him. And I don’t know how to deal with it, and what is considered appropriate To get to the point: I'd like to get to know this guy a little better. He's nice (or seems to be), and we have a lot of the same interests. I want to ask him to hangout platonically without pressure of being a date.How do I go on about it? Should I use a workout buddy excuse, and say wanna come with me next time?' Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Slippers  +, writes (22 March 2016):
Oh gee you are totally annoyed at me .. why ask anyone opinion if you know what you want to do .. go ask him and come back and tell us how it went . We can all sing we are liberated etc and yet guys still want to be guys .. maybe I should have said flirt a little with . Be playful .. but be mindful he may already be with someone that was all I meant
A
female
reader, Barnes66 +, writes (18 March 2016):
Barnes66 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Well slippers,your policy on "if he wanted to he would have already asked me" is merely SUBJECTIVE and not FACT. You know they're always exceptions to this policy right?It's 2016 - granted ,in today's society, women fought to get similar rights, voting, jobs, salary for so long and want to be equal to men all the way, yet in love and romance it is still up to the man to pursue?? You're automatically saying women should literally do nothing and expect a man to come falling out of the sky???? I believe asking men out gives a woman more chances and more control over who she can go out with.Furthermore, I don't believe in that crap that a man has to do the asking or else he is not interested-men can be deathly afraid of rejection too. Some of us like know if the guy is interested as well than sitting agonizing hoping he'd make a move .It's not like I'm asking him to marry me or have sex with me. I just want to get to know the guy better in friendly type basis . what's wrong with that?
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A
female
reader, Slippers +, writes (18 March 2016):
Sorry to be on the negative side . But I always go with if he wanted to he would have already asked you policy .. Do you know if he's single .. or has a gf already .. or married .. making polite work related conversation isn't a basis on friendship . If he's interested he will ask .. girls shouldn't have to knock on guys door sweetie they should be knocking on yours
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A
male
reader, Sam Wilson  +, writes (17 March 2016):
 I agree with Tisha-1's answers.But remember no matter what reason you give him there will always be pressure for the guy if you two spend time together, a date is still a date. Even though you are asking him to hang out platonically he can still detect that youre a bit interested in him and there's nothing wrong with that.
There's nothing wrong with inviting him for cofee,lunch or the gym and telling him that you want to know him better.
The truth is always an excellent foundation and there's nothing wrong with being a bit outgoing.
Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (16 March 2016):
 “I’m so ready for a cup of coffee/tea/a drink/snack after work before the gym. I’m going to head to XYZ coffee/tea/bar/cafe at about Q o’clock before I head to the gym at Nth street. If you are going too, I’ll look for you!
“Here’s my number if you want to workout together some time. I need workout buddies for motivation.
“See you in the gym and I hope to catch up with what’s happening with you!”
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