A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm not sure what to do. I recently met this guy, and i want to ask him about going on our first date. He said he might be able to meet this Wednesday, but he hasn't had much money lately. I feel funny about asking him about going out since he hasn't had much money, and i'm not sure how his situation will be this week . Or should i just wait for him to ask me ?. I don't want him to think i'm not interested though if i don't ask.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2011): Don't ask him, if he has no money, you probably will end paying for him. Let him figure out what he wants to do.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2011): Why dont you pay for the date?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2011): If this is a very recent thing and expected to be short term, go ahead and invite him out for coffee or a light lunch. Something inexpensive.
If this has been going on for some months with no end in sight then take a pass. This will only become an issue down the road when you've already invested yourself emotionally. Save yourself the grief.
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A
female
reader, RedAthena  +, writes (6 June 2011):
 Wait for him to ask you. You do not want to get caught in a situation being the "Sugar Mama" and having to take the initiative.Let him make the move. If he mentions he would like to ask you out, but cant do to finances, suggest "If you asked me to (suggest cheap or non cost date) I would say yes..."That lets him know you are interested,considerate of his financial situation but put him in charge.Trust me dear, you want the guy to take the initiate. Later, if things get established that he is truly motivated to know you/spend time with you..you can take turns planning/paying or equally contribute.A man who is really interested WILL ask, regardless of his cash, and will often be far more creative that those who can simply pay for a date.Best Wishes:)
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A
male
reader, wiseoldman +, writes (6 June 2011):
Plenty of stuff you can do without money. Wander around a park and feed the ducks, (it's almost summer, after all) take in a free concert, go to an art gallery. The important thing is just to be with one another to see how things progress. Any of those things is also not a 'classical date' so don't be ashamed of asking him.
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A
male
reader, freeme +, writes (6 June 2011):
 Chances are if this guy is interested in you, he is a wreck about being broke. You need to find a classy way to let him know that you don't care. If you are going to ask him out, ask him somewhere that doesn't cost money. Go to a park, or for coffee. That way he can buy you a coffee, you can spend time with him and he isn't out 100 bucks.
He will be much more relaxed if you find a stealthy way to let him know you don't care about his money situation. (If that is indeed true.)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2011): Sounds like you've already asked him out if he's responded about possibly meeting you later this week. Anything more would come off desperate. If he's interested, he'll definitely find a way to spend time with you...money or no money.
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