A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend now for about a year and a half. I know his fantasy is a threesome, which I've no qualms with having as I'm bisexual and have had many more years with women than men. I love him dearly and I know he loves me too. I think maybe I bring the subject up more often than him, and I'm certain he thinks it'll never happen. However, having said that, the only problem I have is how to handle my jealousy of him with another woman. I feel bad that I feel that way, when I've no problem with me being with another woman. I suppose its just whether he'll have more fun with or prefer her. I've not had a lot of partners and I suppose I feel inadequete compared to other straight women. I'd still love to arrange one, despite the above problem, I think maybe it'll peetr out once i get into it. However, I'm unsure how to discreetly find a woman who will be interested and how do I make sure she is free of STD's? and is this too much to ask of another woman??Any help or advice would be great....
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Anonymousmale1  +, writes (7 August 2009):
 If you go forward with this idea, your relationship will be over within a month after the event. In your letter you expressed your own thoughts of jealousy but you fail to understand how he will feel afterwards.Most men like watching two women please one another in adult movies, they think it's sexy. However, to actually witness your own woman be pleased by another woman is a totally different beast.Most men cannot handle this type of event mentally. They say they can, but trust me when I tell you that it's wishful thinking.The mental image of anyone pleasuring you will be embedded in his mind and it will lead to frustration, anger and heartbreak (for you both).Men and women are different, as a woman you are stronger emotionally. Thats why women are more forgiving when men cheat on them. When it's the other way around and the woman cheats and it's found out many times it results in violence. Why? Because men cannot cope with the mental image of anyone making love to the woman he says he loves.His mind is going to cloud his heart and although this is something you stated he wanted, he's going to turn this event on you and state that it was something you wanted as a way to be with a woman without being called a cheater. Can you afford all this drama that this situation will create?I am sure that you are a intelligent, caring and beautiful woman and more then enough woman for the man that you love. You are all he really needs to be happy. As a woman you may not know it but we men expect for you to protect us from ourselves. Protect him, and in the end protect yourself and your relationship. You'll be happy that you did, and even though he may not know it, he'll be happy too. Good luck and I hope this helped, but in the end it's really up to you. I think you'll do whats right for your relationship.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2009): I think threesomes are better for single friends wanting to have fun but i think it could damage your relationship you already said you think your going to be jealous just imagine your man being more into this other woman than you thats guna hurt!it might not happen but it is a possibilty.There are so many other things you can do when it comes to sex i personally say forget about the threesome i can see that you love him, dont risk it.
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A
female
reader, somebodyoutthere  +, writes (7 August 2009):
I'll be honest and say DON'T do it. There are so many relationship (even well-stable ones!) that have problems ever since having a 3-some, mostly because of jealousy. It's not wrong, it's completely normal! My fanasty with my boyfriend is also threesomes but I doubt it'll ever happen because either I will always wonder if he perfered her, had a better time with her, maybe even secretly meet up with her to do it again or even suggest to do it again + same way the other way around with another guy. It's a hot fanasty but I don't think it's worth breaking a relationship over. Instead, try renting a 3some film and play/have sex watching it? I heard this is one of the better way to have fanasty 3some. Just my opinion.
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