A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 20 years old, I still live with my parents and I just went threw a really hard time, I just lost my baby and I kinda don't want to spend a lot of time at home because I was really ready for him and had everything set up for him. Anyways, my mom still freaks out on me and wants to know every move I make. I can't be out till like 10 without my mom calling me and telling me it is time to come home. I just wish I could tell her I'm not 5 I'm 20 and I want a little respect, I help around the house and clean up after every mess I make I want to move out but it is so expensive and with my job and school I can't afford it, she just treats me like I'm a baby how can I tell her what I am feeling and that I want her to treat me like I'm an adult instead of a child.
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female
reader, Hopeful Romantic +, writes (6 November 2007):
 I am sorry for your loss. I don't wish that on any body! Your mom is being so strict on you because you still live with her. I hate to tell you this, but no matter how old you are, if you are living under your parents roof, they will always be the boss of you and tell you what to do.
I have been out on my own since I was 18; when I go to just visit my parents they treat me like I live there and still tries to tell me what to do and I just go along with it because that makes them happy.
Also, here you are 20 years old, not married, living with your mother and you were pregnant. There's another reason she doesn't want you out late. Anything that happens after mid night is no good. She probably thinks that if she had been more strict in the past, maybe you would never have gotten pregnant and hence you wouldn't be in the sad state that you are in now.
Consider looking for a roommate and getting an apartment. Then maybe it wouldn't be so exspensive. But, don't go over you means, or then it will be just too hard to live. Everything will work itself out, you'll see.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, sexi  +, writes (6 November 2007):
 Hi
I am sorry about your loss. It is possible that after what hasn happened to you ( you losing your baby) your mum has seen the effect it has on you and wants to be there for you but doesnt know how to show you.You should speak to her and just remember that she is trying to be supportive. You should try going for some counselling to help you deal with your loss. Just speak to your mum. She is trying to be your friend give her a chance to bear your loss with you.
Regards,mail me if you wanna talk
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2007): I'm terribely sorry to hear about your loss. I kno how you feel as I lost a baby earlier this year too.
Have you thought about how your mom is feeling too? Your her child - no matter what age you are, whether you are 5,25 or 65 you are still their child!!! I'm 30 and my mom still worries about me! Like when I'm going up to my boyf's house which is an hour's drive she's like ring me when you get there so I kno you got there safe etc.
Maybe she doesn't kno how to talk to you after the loss of your baby and its her way of looking out for you also?!?!
A good idea for you both is to get out of the house, go for a meal or a pizza, sit down and just talk thro everything. At least when you are in a different environment to the home one you should be able to relax and talk more freely...
The one thing I will say is not to fight and fall out with her as she will be your best friend later on in life as you will find out!!! She does have your best interests at heart even tho it mighn't seem like it now!!!
Best of luck with everything x
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (6 November 2007):
 Life sure can be difficult. Sorry to hear about your loss.
Let's look at the role of a parent. #1, protect my child.
Here's what you should do. Don't say I'm 20, not 5. I think if you posted a picture of yourself and had everyone view it, it would be difficult to convince someone you were 5, and your writing too is a bit more advanced than a 5 year old.
The reason I put the above paragraph is when negotiating or proving what you're seeking, the I'm not 5 anymore comment is whining and won't get you very far. Here is what I'd do.
"Mom can we talk?" "I love you. You're my mom, but it's bothering me with how tight the leash is which you've placed. I know you're trying to protect me, but realize I'm going through a very difficult time right now.
I know it hard to let go. But I'm an adult now. Even though I'm an adult, I still need you for comfort through this, but I need that comfort to be an adult mother comforting her adult daughter through a hard situation, and hoping that in the end I become a better adult for it."
You can change as needed. I hope this helps, and again sorry for your loss. I would recommend grief counseling. If it's not your normal behavior to go out all the time, the your attempting to cope but not in the most productive way.
Take care.
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