A
female
age
26-29,
*he_perfect_therapist
writes:I need help big time.I'm 12 yrs old and my bf is 13. We both want the same thing - sex. But i'm to scared. I feel ready but dont no if i should. He is so understanding n never rushes me he says if i dont want to than he'll wait. We've been a couple 4 2 yrs and i no i can trust him. So many ppl have sed that theve already done it and other ppl say that its wrong 4 me 2 do it so young. But to me age aint nothin but a number. But i don't want to feel awkward or like a slut. and i'm afraid that the condom will break or that i will get pregnant. But i'm so confused i dont no wat to do. I need serious help.plz send me a message back as soon as possibl b4 i do something ill regret
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2010): I feel the same as you do but you're to young. If you want it why not touch yourselves or lick yourselves jajaj. There are many ways for pleasure raher than sex.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2010): Wow i feel the same way as you do i read some of the comments and they helped me i always see people having sex like in movies and stuff and i want it not in a sick minded way but in the kinda pleasure way and a close relationship with a guy kinda way i masturbate it feels great so my advice is if your scared then it means your not ready so dont do it try masturbating or something its soo fun and it feels soo good
XD hope this helped ;)
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2010): Darl, im 13 i know what your going thoough\.
If you really love your bf then go for it.
Me and my bf have decided to wait awhile,
Its better off.
If you dont think your really,
Maybe let him fingerr you and you give him hand.
Just remember NEVER let anyone pressure you into it.
Good luck xx
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female
reader, Im here to help  +, writes (26 November 2009):
Please dont do it i no u are prob hearing this from alot of ppl But i was with my boyfriend for 4 years before we had sex i was 17 and him 18! We are of coure still 2 gether nw we made sure the decision was right! I hope this helps!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2009): I know what you mean. I got my periods when i was 9 and since last year when i was 11 i have wanted to have sex but my mum doese'nt even know that i know what sex is. I brought a note home and it was about yr 6 learning about sex and other physical changes but she dosent acknowledge me wanting to talk to her about it. I wish she asked me. This year i have wanted to have it more than ever but i havnt as i know it is wrong. no matter how much you want it please don't, try researching about sex and sex poisitions as it might help satisfy your urge. i know it did for me. but when i am at school i look at this 1 guy and that urge starts again. if you want buy some condoms and play with them. but no matter ehat you do please dont have sex as it might spoil your relationship with your school friends, mum and your future boyfriends. i would love to help even more by giving you these links http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_intercoursehttp://kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/http://kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/girls/sexual_orientation.htmlhttp://kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/girls/talk_about_condoms.htmlhttp://kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/girls/tell_parents.htmlhttp://kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/girls/virginity.htmlhttp://kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/contraception/contraception_condom.html#Hope you make the right decision. Luv Squeege
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2009): Dude I totally know what you mean. In my case i have always had a high sex drive. It had always been that way since i was about eleven. I am turning 14 in 3 months and i have been seriously wrapped around sex. My boy friend doesn't know that i think about doing it wiht him twenty for seven but i have know clue what he thinks. We are seriouly in love and i want to have sex with him. But listen trust me. son't do it. I know how hard it is but you don't want to do it to early. at least wait till you turn teen. I took a vow to my self saying that i would wait till fifteen. i know how hrad that is. Try master bating. I do it all the time and it helps alot.
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reader, sexeyzoe +, writes (23 November 2008):
i was 12 and have a 14 year old boy friend and all he thinks about is sex!so one time we were in a tree house with a bed and TV,also computer.and we were on the computer loken at you tube all of a sudden he change it to porn an i did not know what to do so i played a long.and now im a 13 year old with a baby.its a boy and thank god tern out fine.but i wish i did not do it!im a mother all because the condom brook!
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2008): i had the same problem as you a couple of weeks back but i didnt do it i let him finger me but thats it if you are doing it for pleasure let him finger you and he can masterbate there is no worrys then that you mite get pregant and you get 2 experience the pleasure !!
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2008): babes. i know how you feel. i am 13 and a boy asked me how far i would like to go. we both agreed we would like get into bed and touch eachother and he wanted to go all the way and have complete sex. i was scared, not because i thought it would hurt but purely because i didnt want the condom to split. one girl in my class fell pregnant and her life was destroyed. i have been bought up to an amazing family who all trust me and i know it would brake their hearts if their little girl got pregnant. luckily i found sense and said no. i know its really hard, and oyu may not be able to resist, but just think what if the condom split. if you are unsure it means you're not ready. but as a replacment why dont you try something like a dildo. you could simply finger eachother and if you want some sexual feelings then he could place a dildo up you. or if not just watch some porn together. it gives you a great feeling. and you can even just mastubate. it feels great. im 13 and the other month i started mastubating. i havent told my parents. i know it isnt wrong to explore your own body and i feel confident in doing it. i just dont want them to be ashamed of me. anyway what im saying is. dont have sex because there is too many "what if's" but instead just enjoy some sexual pleasure together without actually having intercourse. lol. hope this essay has helped. love you and good luck.
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reader, lizzieeeee +, writes (21 August 2008):
hOnestly yOu are wayyyy tOO yOung fOr sex! yOu will regret when yOu're Older and after yOu guys have brOken up. yOu're nOt even a teenager yet. thats crazy. and if hes really that understanding he will wait a few mOre years:) and have yOu even hit puberty yet? Jesus, YOu're just sO YOUNG! i can believe hOw yOung peOple want tO have sex nOw a days, i mean im turning 16 in a mOnth and im still a virgin. besides the yOunger u are when yOu have sex, the mOre yOu'll be branded as a slut Or a whOre=( hOpe yOu take this advice and nOt have sex til ur at least 15! Or even when ur dOne with high schOOl, yOU just gOt tO middle schOOl. sO calm ur hOrmOnes shrimpy yOu have plenty Of time tO dO the nastyyy:)
~Lizzie~♥
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female
reader, askhayley222  +, writes (26 May 2008):
 im sorry for this, but no you are a little too young. sex can get very complicated, and if youre scared maybe thats a subtle indication that youre not ready.i think you should wait, personally.you may regret it.hope this helps
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2008): Hey Hunny,I know you don't want to hear this, but seriously, yes, you are wayyy too young! You're not even a teenager! My advice is wait, if he loves you like you say he does, he'll wait.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2008): i'm 15 and not a virgin and i say don't do it unless you feel right. when you look into his eyes what do you see? if all you see is some horny guy then no. if you see love and respect then it's up to you. well it is your choice either way but just be careful. and don't rely on him for the condom.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2008): Hi, yea i think i know what you mean... It's just that, kinda awkward that you wanna have sex when you are 12, but i dont care. Well so you know, condoms are like 95-99% secure, but i wont do it anyway... but since im not you, then you can do as you want... but take this advice seriusly...
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2008): I would honestly say not to do it. I'm fifteen and lost it when I was barely 13. I regret it. I havent had any sexual contact since. But i'm still thought of as a whore. That I "give it up" to everyone. and dirty looks and glances are never fun. Your immediately judged. and it really cant mean something special when your twelve. the longer you wait. the more its going to mean something. Something special. Something that is from your heart. not sex.. but love. You'll feel so much better about yourself too. just do what you feel is best in the end.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2008): im 12 and i am pregnant my boyfrend is 13 and wants this baby as much as i do the thing is im to scared to tell my own parents cause they will flip but i have told my bfs mum if i was you i would go for it but use a condom because i forgot and i know you would not like to get pregnant like me and by the way i wont be geting an abortion.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008): You have so much more to lose than to gain by doing it now. Waiting can only make it more meaningful between you, although i now its really hard, you won't regret just kissing and touching now, whereas you might regret it a lot if you do go all the way. As an older lady said to me once: 'don't rush into sex! in your pre-sex teen years you'll have the longest and best foreplay of your life!'
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008): well if you think you are ready then go 4 it, its not up 2 anyone else but you and your bf. i did it when i was 14 and didnt regret it. but if you arnt ready then just wait. its up to you. no 1 else.x
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2008): Omg i totally understand you im 12 and i have the same problem as you. and really i would say not to do it right now because you might get pregnant and that is da problem you have and i get that,im scared that will happen 2 but you're young and you have all the time in the world so just have fun and when your older and you are sure you want it and are ready for the responsibilities in any case then it's time...:)
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2008): aww darlin... babes dont do it .. whats gonna happen if you get pregant
my sister is 28 and she has only just had sex and luckily she aint pregant yet but babes i would honestly wait your too younge dont listen to people if they say do do it look how many people have told you its wrong take the right advice x
good luck honey x
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2008): hunny, don't do it! for your own sake don't! I'm only 14 years old and I KNOW that you will always regret it if you do!!! You want sex to be something you remember! not something you regret.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2008): Look I would not worry because your just thinking of all the bad things that could happen, what about the good things like it might bring your relationship closer and if you're scared then when you have sex it will hurt more than it would first time (not making it sound more scary!) Look, with myself I am bisexual and I am only 15 years old, what am I going to do and how would I tell someone about that?
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2008): i'm 12 just like you but i have a 15 year old sister and an 18 year old sister the 18 year old one had sex at 12 and got pregnant she got an abortion but she made my parents ery upset and nobody thoght of her as a sweet little girl anymore i still find it hard i want sex to i really love my boyfrind and he really loves me to we both want sex hes 13 just like yours we both know the dangers and after watching my sister i can give you this advice save sex its a wonderfull thing for marriage for when your ready for a kid not now!
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2008): i'm 12 just like you but i have a 15 year old sister and an 18 year old sister the 18 year old one had sex at 12 and got pregnant she got an abortion but she made my parents ery upset and nobody thoght of her as a sweet little girl anymore i still find it hard i want sex to i really love my boyfrind and he really loves me to we both want sex hes 13 just like yours we both know the dangers and after watching my sister i can give you this advice save sex its a wonderfull thing for marriage for when your ready for a kid not now!
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2007): I think you should im 13 i had sex before i was scared like you but my lucky my boyfriend wouldnt push me or anythink but i wanted to have it so i pushed my self into doing it and it was ok go for it if you love him or you could wait but i think you could try it good luck babe. x
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2007): Honestly, you're not ready.
You're too young. I know it sounds harsh to hear that but you really are. In any other case, I would say 10 is far too young to even be thinking about serious dating. Why don't you get out there and both have some fun instead of thinking so seriously about what you 'should' be doing?
And honey, you're body is not even properly developed at twelve years old. Having sex now will not be very good for your body health; I'd advise you to wait until you're over 16.
Good luck.
x.
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reader, askhayley222 +, writes (14 October 2007):
it is obvious your not ready for sex, it should be shared with someone you truley love, at your age you should be concentrating of having a good time, dont rush... it will be better for you in the long run.
just take your time until you are sure that you are mature enough to handle the responsibilities that come with sex.
good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2007): i wouldnt recomend having it that young because it leads to being on the maury show for now just masterbate thats what i did when i was young
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reader, Ricky +, writes (7 October 2007):
Sex is supposed to be shared with someone you really love and not just because your hormones are kicking. In my opinion you ought to wait a few years before you can appreciate the depth of the interaction. Also remember you never forget your first and so if this turns out to be a bad choice you will be robbed of the joy of sex.
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reader, Pinkbees09 +, writes (7 October 2007):
 You are not ready at all honey, you are only 12. I know you said you think age is only a number but in this case its more than a number. When your older your going to wish you didn't have sex with this boy and wish you would've waited. If you think what your doing is right, go ahead and do it but I say no.
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reader, bovvalicious +, writes (7 October 2007):
 i really dont think that you should rush into it. if you think you can deal with the risks like pregnancy or std's then i dont see the reason why you shouldnt, jst be prepared that it will more than likely hurt and wont always be the best thing. You may regret it in years to come. but if you are sure that its what you want and what your boyfriend wants then i dont see the reason you have not to. if you do though be careful and use a condom
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2007): look I disagree with some of the garbage on this page you are 12 don't do it. You will regret it. I did and it was terrible the sex was in one word crap!! You dont know what you are doing he wont either and your 12 do you really want your first time to be out in a park or dark ally!! Sex is amazing and special in a loving commited relationship when you are older. I was having sex from a very young age as a way to get over being abused as a child and I only ever enjoyed sex when I was 20 everything before that was terrible and even in relationships with guys I thought highly of I always felt used and invaded after. Please wait love trust me it will be so much more worth it. And guys respect you more. You wont ever regret waiting to have sex but you deffinatly will regret doing it too young!! All the best xx
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reader, x_x_xhanzx_x_x +, writes (7 October 2007):
to be honest...i agree, age is.. just a number. But u do have to consider your parents. what would they think about you at your age having sex. 2 years is a very lond time, but...if you think you are ready and he promises to not hurt you, go for it. People will have different views on this, but i think you should rethink it over before you go ahead. having sex at 12 is really young, but as you and i both said, it is just a number.
i don't think i helped much but yeah, listen to what others have to say and do think about your parents.
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reader, L.O.S.E.R.  +, writes (7 October 2007):
 Well hun,if you're scared that might mean you're not ready after all.Ok,you both are the same age and it's nice,especially cause he's a virgin too.You love,respect and trust each other,that's also great.Every cicumstance is fine except the fact you're 12!Ok,age don't mean anything to you,but maybe you won't feel like it couple years after.He's a male so maybe it makes it a bit easier to him than to you but 13 is young also.Honestly,my opinion about sex is that no metter how young or old you are you shouldn't do it if you're not mature enough to deal with stuff like std,pregnancy,decision making (without involving would you parents) so I think you two are both young for it.I think there is no need for you to rush out into anything cause being that young and innocent,in a way a kid is something special and once in a lifetime experience...So my advice is to wait few years more.Hope you'll take it;)xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2007): Just think about this o.k...what would your father think if he found out that his little girl has had sex!! He would be heart broken & devastated. Trust me, stay daddy's little girl while you can because it's a big bad hard world out there.. Save the beautiful thing that is your innocence as long as you can. You are worth a man waiting for you. And I can pretty much gurantee you, the man you are going to marry some day is not your boyfriend that you are with at the age of 10-12..
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reader, the_perfect_therapist +, writes (7 October 2007):
the_perfect_therapist is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank u all-except the ppl who were critics in this question-for helping me yall definitely made me think again
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reader, the_perfect_therapist +, writes (7 October 2007):
the_perfect_therapist is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank u all-except the ppl who were critics in this question-for helping me yall definitely made me think again
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reader, Tigerlily +, writes (7 October 2007):
Sweetheart, you KNOW you aren't ready or you wouldn't be asking the question. I understand you are curious and the tv and magazines make such a big deal about sex... but you should wait. You are too young. The thing about sex is that is is very complicated emotionally, which you don't find out about until after you do it. You need to be more emotionally mature to be able to understand. Your boyfriend does too - he is only 13 he is too young too, and emotional stuff is even more complicated for boys, because of hormones and because society makes it harder for them to talk about it. He probably says it's okay to wait and doesn't pressure you because he knows deep down he's not ready either, but as a boy he can't admit that he's scared to do something. If you care about your BF you should wait because you don't want to mess him up. I know it's superhard when you are so curious, but I would really recommend you be patient, when you are older you will BOTH be really glad that you waited.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2007): Sweetheart! You are a child of 12, I can't believe that you have been part of a couple for two years, where did you get the idea that you have to grow up so fast and miss out on being the greatest thing in life a kid!
You have your whole life ahead of you to have sex and to be in love and to be a part of a couple! This is ridiculous, really what you are contemplating, do you have an older adult that you can confide in?
You are showing that you have a keen mind with all of your worries about having sex at your age...you instincts are trying to tell you something loud and clear DON'T DO IT.
You could become pregnant and your body is not mature enough to have a baby, it could cause some permanent damage to you and even hurt your chances of conceiving a child when you are ready, like when you are grown and married for one.
Did you know that having sex before the age of 20 for women puts them at a greatly increased risk of ocntracting a virus that leads to cervical cancer....it does not mean that you are a slut, or have slept around a lot, it only takes one partner, and one time having sex to put you at risk...this is due to your young age and your physical immaturity, and your immune system and how it reacts to foreign invasions......so to speak.
Get your mind on something else, you are too young to be with this boy who is trying to have sex with you, let him figure that bit out on his own!
It is illegal for you to be having sex as a child, by the way, even though this boy is also under age, if caught he could get in serious trouble....he may have a psychological problem if he thinks he should be having sex with a 12 year old. And we won't even talk about morals, your parents should be teaching you those or your church.
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reader, Jamer70 +, writes (7 October 2007):
 well firstly not to be parronising but age isnt just a number its more than that. Especially at your age. Your 12 your not psyically ready for sex let alone emotionally ready for the consquenes of sex.
Scondly the usually answer wheb thinking of having sex is if your not sure your not ready and it definently applies here, your sacred to which shows your not ready for it. also you said yourself your not sure you should.
You say you feel ready but believe me and everyone when they were a teen, the whole horomones and being in a relationship thing feels like a one of and it will never happen again, but it does.
Take a step back here and think of your future, do you want to lose something as special as your virginity at age 12? when you werent even sure you were ready? doubt it.
Wait a few year to have sex when you thought it over and its with someone you love.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2007): Don't do it! your way too young and it's right your feeling unsure about this. In a couple of years time, you will look back and thank God you didn't do it. Just dont do it, the girls that did it at your age are well, sluts.
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reader, sexygurlchristmas2008 +, writes (6 October 2007):
 you should totaly wait hun don't rush things don't forgot about the deadly diesase across america AIDS STD'S
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2007): No offense, but you're messed up.
I mean, YOURE 12!!!
I'm 15, okay, && I'm not even thinking about it.
Sex is a big thing
and you have to be 100% sure about what you're doing,
or you could end up having a child on your hands.
Or if you don't have your period yet, one sex experience will lead to another when you do.
I hope this will make you get your head out of the gutter.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2007): Darlin,
You are far too young to be considering having sex. I know I sound like the 'big bad adult' here but please hear me out.
I don't think you're a slut, if you were you would have rushed in without thinkin, as it is you have been sensible and have waited. Most of your friends who are bragging probably a) haven't even lost their virginity and are bragging to make themselves look big, or b) haven't lost their virginity and areegging you on to do it so they can see what it's like or c) HAVE lost their virginity and have hated it (cos believe me, it's crap!) and want someone else to do it so they can compare notes!
Don't do anything you'll regret later mate. Pealse, please e-mail me if you wanna chat.
xxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2007): If your not sure if you should have sex, or not, then your probably not ready...You should really listen to that "inner voice" and if it's saying "don't do it"...then you should listen to your gut. There are lots of thing involved with having sex...like you said getting pregnant...you also have to worry about STD's, AIDS, and lots of other diseases. Having sex just isn't about getting physical with someone, there's a lot of emotions that take place too...some emotions that you may not be ready for. There are other ways in being intiment other than having sex...It may sound silly, but try just talking, talking about all EVERYTHING...all your thoughts and fears. Sex is one of those things that you may want to experiment with, but you can explore eachothers bodies without having sex. Don't just jump into the sack, make sure your 100% sure it's something you want to do...I think you should wait.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2007): who ever told you they have done it are either sluts or lyers, i'm guessing the latter.
either way. i beleive your too young personally. do you really see yourself with this lad in 4 years time when its legal?
your very young! both of you
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2007): I had a boyfriend when i was about your age also! we went out for about 5 years from the time i was about 11 till i was about 16! he wanted to have sex but i wasn't to sure on how I felt about the subject! we "loved" eachother and didn't see no reason not to but something in the back of my mind said "I don't know bout this" It's a hard possition to be put in, definently because he wants to!!! If he's understanding like you say then you should wait...trust me i was in your possition before and it was the best thing i had ever decided to do my boyfriend and i ended up breaking up and now im 18 and with the man im going to spend the rest of my life with! you have no idea how much it meant to him to be the first person to have sex with me it made our relationship stronger!! I know you love your boyfriend but what Im telling you is to wait, please, not for me but for your own dignaty! it might sound like dumb advice now but comming from someone who was in your spot at one time im telling you that this would be one choice that you will NEVER regret!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2007): Heya Hunni
Don't do it! Oh my gosh you're 12 years old! Your body hasn't even developed properly yet and it is definitely wrong for you to do it so young. Imagine what your family would think if they found out. Your SO young you don't need sex at 12. It can cause all sorts of problems like STDs like AIDs. Take my advice and wait until your so much older, or like me wait until marriage and then you know you've found the right guy x
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2007): you say you're afraid and confused and you don't know if you should do it- there's some doubt in your mind. wait until you're 100% sure it's what you want. your boyfriend sounds great saying he'll wait and you've already been together for quite a long time- what's the rush? wait until you know that you should do it and you're certain it's what you want or you might regret it later
good luck
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