A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i am 14 years old and i think i am ready for sex.i have a shy boyfriend who i have dated for about 3 months now, and we barely do anything. i feel left out because the closest of my friends have all had sex; i don't think its fair. i get horny very easily around my boyfriend, but its hard to tell him what i am really thinking; about having sex with him. i no i sound very imature wanting it at my age, but i am seriously ready and i need help telling my boyfriend.can anyone help??thanks :)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, called Steve +, writes (1 December 2009):
 I dont usually respond to questions such as this but I thought in this case I'd make an exception due to it being quite a mature type of question.Whilst I think its commendable that you have found need to ask the question, it kind of begs other questions..."Do you usually follow what your peers are doing?""Does your boyfriend value you more than you do?"It makes me smile when I read questions like this as when I was 16/17 my long term (3yrs) girlfriend and I refrained from having sex. Now of course we got all the emotions of feeling we were ready, but we suppressed those feelings. We recently met after more than 25 years and we discussed this very point. We mutually agreed that although at the time we felt ready - we were no way ready. Emotionally we were immature and should she have become pregnant we wouldn't have been happy long term.Please re-think your emotions, we all go through this at some stage in our lives but you sound really sensible (as I think I was) so really you know the answer that most people will say to you.Good luck - and enjoy what you have without going all the way until you're 'really' ready and legal...All the best - Steve x
A
female
reader, Araelia V +, writes (1 December 2009):
 Know how your feeling...
I am on the other side of the coin to you and know how your feeling VERY well. I lost me verginity at the age of thirteen to my two best friends (both male). If I could go back, I would not have done it. I love them both to pieces and I thought I was ready, but I wasn't. Personally and from other friends I have who have been in the same boat as you. If your thinking your ready. Then your probably not. It will happen. At sixteen I have just split up with my boyfriend of eleven months. He was a vergin when I started going out with him and he was nineteen. He wanted to wait until I was sixteen but then his testosterone kicked in. I held my ground because I know he had very good reasons for NOT wanting to have sex until I was of age. Least of all being that he could get arrested. Two weeks after my sixteenth birthday we had sex for the first time. It wasn't forced, it wasn't even discussed, it just happened. And if I could go back, that would have been the moment I lost my verginity, not at a party, drunk off my head at thirteen with me two best friends on a pool table. Sex shouldn't be about losing your verginity, it should be about passion, love and knowing the person your doing it with well enough that you know when their ready and how far they're ready to go. Sex isn't just sex. It's a milestone in your life. Like your birthdays, onceyou turn sixteen, you can never be fifteen again. If you believe in the afterlife. In reincarnation. still, who you are now, will never be fifteen again. Once your verginity is gone, it's gone for good. You can't get it back. No matter how hard you try, you can only lose it once. So if HE'S not ready, YOUR moment won't be the same. and it certainly wont be very good. So in my opinion you should wait until your both ready.
Hope I helped,
Araelia V
x
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A
female
reader, charrirock  +, writes (17 June 2009):
im in the same boat.
i am 15 going on 16 and my boyfriend is 16. we are both virgins and i am ready to have sex and we have talked about it before together but i dont know how to say it in person. we have only talked about it txting . and i dont want to mess this up please help.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2007): just get the boy to your house when your perants arnt there or go to his he wont exspect a thing just kiss him nd add more to it nd den start taking the cloths of ask im if he is ready if he says no say well i am babe so lets trie it please for me if he says yes go for it but dont forget be carm and dont get annoyed if he says no good look
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2007): hey im in the same situation and i think the best thing for you to do is just get into a sex conversationrandomly bring up the topic and say it you should be honest and tell him how you feel but not in so much graphics just say you think you are ready and ask how does he feel about that
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A
female
reader, bovvalicious +, writes (28 October 2007):
 kiss him on the cheek one day and speak to him about things if you are ready for sex it will happen dont rush into things take time and just live for the moment life it too based around sex
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A
female
reader, Phoebe Halliwell +, writes (7 October 2007):
 Hey,
make sure you are ready. And it's not just your body telling you to.
I know some girls your age who have lost their virginity and regretted it. Make sure, if you are ready you and your boyfriend want to.
You may be ready but he may not be, when he is, you'll both know. You may tell him you want to have sex and he may turn you down because you're not on the same page. Your first time with your boyfriend should be natural, not suggested to him so he can think about the pros and cons.
hope this helped,
Phoebe xXx
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