A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm starting to turn into an emo. I have dyed my hair black and I really feel like one but My best mate that I have known for 8 years doesn't like them and she doesn't like what Ive become and I hang around with all the goths and emos now and She doesnt like them and I cant help what I am and Shes started to call me names 'Emo Slag' and all sorts and she has all Her other mates on me as well but I don't wanna change back but I really want to be her mate again!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2007): Hi hunny
Wow it sounds as if your friend is really bothered by this.
She has been your best friend for 8 years and she obviously can't accept this change. You need to ask her why she can't accept it? She must have some reason. The best way to resolve this is to sit down and talk to her about it. Do you think she's feeling a little insecure now that you're hanging around with new people and that she feels she can't fit in? Or she's scared you will want to stop being friends with her completely? You really need to explain that you are still the same person inside and if she still can't accept this then she is not a friend worth having especially if she is calling you names and getting others to join in.
Good luck and let me know what happens
xxx
A
female
reader, kat14 +, writes (14 May 2007):
 This happened to me to. just be urself tell her ur the same person just coz u look different. if she still doesnt understand then she isnt worth being mates with. i now hang around with a mix of people styles wise. however i dnt always feel i fit in with the people i used to. its just life, people change.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2007): Just tell her that this is who you are and this is how you express yourself and if she cant except it then dont be friends.
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A
female
reader, Farris +, writes (13 May 2007):
 She's not a very good friend if she'd call you names like that.
Even less of a friend for not accepting you for what you are.
I know it's not nice, but you just have to accept that some people are narrow-minded and mean.
Best wishes.
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A
female
reader, boops +, writes (13 May 2007):
If you feel good about the way you look then your friend should not think any different of you.
Try talking to her and explaining that although you might look different your still the same person inside.
Don't let her make you feel like your the one with the problem, still if she doesn't understand tell yourself maybe she isn't the friend you thought she was.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, dragonette  +, writes (13 May 2007):
 If by turning emo you started wearing different clothes and adopted a different view on life, I can understand if your friend finds it a bit difficult to be with you. That doesn't mean that she can call you names and encouraging her mates to act rudely towards you though!
Tell her that you would like to still be her friend. Let her know that you're exploring life at the moment and you need to try out some new stuff and that she needs to let you be you and not try to force you back into some shape that fits her.
Trying out different hairstyles and clothes and friends is part of being a teenager, I wish your friend would understand that, but it's kinda hard to realise it when you're in the middle of it.
Lastly I'd like to give you a piece of advice that will make it easier for you to be with your friend: being Emo may be really important to you right now, but do remember that your friend isn't emo so try to find common ground when talking. When I was a teenager my best friend took a trip down goth lane and suddenly everything was goth bands and goth clothes and "gee, normal people are so lame", etc. It was hard for me to be with her then, since I am "normal" and I found her comments to be a bit insulting, but we stuck it out and we're still friends 10 years later.
Take care, and feel free to let us know how it went.
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A
female
reader, sophiie  +, writes (13 May 2007):
first of all i would like to say emos are hot lol!don't worry about what your friend thinks of you. if she truly was a good friend then she would realise you're still the same person inside but just look different =]
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A
male
reader, macboy  +, writes (13 May 2007):
 She should respect your choice, but you need to understand that with change comes risk.
By isolating yourself from the rest of your group, you set yourself up for ridicule.
The emo culture exists for people looking for attention by looking different.
By breaking up with your friend and hanging around the emo kids, you have broken away from your friends group.
She must feel as if you do not appreciate her or your group.
Talk to your friend, say you are not emo but just wanted a change.
Hell, I dyed my hair black only last week but not because I wanted to be emo.
Don't hang with the emo crowd, stay with your friend & her group and you won't be ridiculed.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (13 May 2007):
 I think this is not very nice of your friend, calling you names, and getting others to join in on it also. Ok so you have changed you appearance, you hang out with new mates, she doesen't like it, so the problem here lies with her not you.
All you can do is explain to her that it is still you underneath the different appearance and you still want to be mates. If she still is funny with you the maybe you have got to ask yourself if you really want her as friend anymore.
Good luck x
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