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I want my ex back; should I contact her or wait to see if she'll contact me?

Tagged as: Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 July 2007) 5 Answers - (Newest, 7 July 2007)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I have been broken up with my ex girlfriend (we dated for roughly six months) for 15 days now. Afew weeks before the breakup, she backpacked in Europe with a girlfriend of hers, and stated she felt a sense of independence upon returning. She ended things between us, stating she was confused about what, if anything, she wanted in terms of a relationship.

Neither of us have ever cheated on the other.

I have given my feelings for her a lot of thought over the past few weeks, and, while I realize part of what I am feeling is simply heartache, I truly love her and would like to try to get back together with her.

Given that, I do not want too seem apathetic towards her, but have not contacted her since the breakup.

Is there a time when I should contact her, or would I be better off hoping that she chooses to contact me at some point in time?

Thank you!

View related questions: ex girlfriend, get back together, my ex

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2007):

I'm in the exact same situation right now.

I miss her so much, i dont really even know what i'd say if i rang her, just to hear her voice would be amazing.

Well 2 people here say yes and 2 no ! What to do?

Its so hard i know, i'm tempted every minute of the day to pick up the phone or text her. Its only been 2 weeks since we broke up and i'm still hurting.

I'm of the thinking that its best to wait for her to ring,although its stupidly hard - I have come close to pressing that call button a few times!

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A female reader, Sienna Australia +, writes (6 July 2007):

I think what penta said is good advice. Also you should contact her, she is never going to know how you feeling otherwise. You can feel a big rush after a holiday but that can wear off too. Just keep in touch tell her that yu still care and she how she responds.Guys need to make more first steps so do a little chasing, girls love that. Everyone wants to feel desired.

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A female reader, penta United States +, writes (6 July 2007):

penta agony auntIf you are able to keep the conversation light, I would call her. Be friends. Keep the door open. If she thinks you're angry or hurting she won't want to call you, because she might feel guilty.

You might mention that if she changes her mind, you're still there, but that you understand that she wants her space right now. So the occasional coffee would be okay. THEN leave the ball in her court.

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (6 July 2007):

Danielepew agony auntI think it's best if you wait for her to make the move. My experience is, NEVER push it. She decided to end things; I don't think she has changed her mind. If she had, well, she would have contacted you.

You're not apathetic towards her. You're simply respecting what she asked from you.

I know this is hard, but take my word for this: DON'T push it. Let her contact you if that is what she wishes.

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A male reader, weldman United States +, writes (6 July 2007):

this happened to me 6 months ago. i tried to get her back but instead i pushed her away for good. i regret doing it because i stil love her. my best advice is to let her go for a while and then in a few months if she is still single make an appearence and see what her reaction is. if she is suprised try to create small talk. i think of this tactic as finess fishing. slow and suprising. they bite everytime. i hope it works for you. if you love her enough u will let her go and be free for a while.

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